Not to put too fine a point on it... This goes back to an old argument of mine with public rp and consequences:
If your character is going to get shit on for doing a thing, being at a thing, or saying a thing, think about that before doing the thing.
If you are an amarr loyalist, don't show up to a matari freedom fighter jamyl efegee burning ceremony unless you are prepared for social consequences.
There are tons of fun events and rp venues that our characters shouldn't be at, or if they are at have to deal with social repercussions.
Its the sometimes unfun part of having a character that picks a side on things.
S. Couldn't be in any Amarr channel for more than thirty seconds without getting booted and banned. Did that suck? Yes, I missed tons of great amarr events and fun social rp stuff I'd have loved to attended IC.
Them's the breaks. S. went to a Revan event as a noob amarr loyalist once without telling loyalist rp corpies. It was majorly frowned on and super not OK IC. I wasn't important enough for anyone at the party to blackmail me but attendance did happen and that would be valid possible outcome.
If the person we've been discussing is unhappy with things that happened treat it like real people do. Lie, say they were drunk, under the influence, whatever, and that it isn't a big deal to them.
Having non optimal things happen to our characters is actually a good thing. Losing fights, being embarrassed, being called out in public. We can't all be all optimal all the time and never lose face.