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Author Topic: "Space Lesbians"  (Read 28559 times)

Katrina Oniseki

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #135 on: 18 Apr 2013, 23:42 »

<snip>

I play a woman married to a woman. I live exclusively in highsec, and have for the better part of a year now. She's married. She wants children. She likes long walks on the beach and snuggling in front of the fireplace. She does not abuse or rape everything with tits. She doesn't even come close to domestic violence. The worst she's ever done is slap her wife on the butt in bed.

I think maybe you're just not noticing the normal couples among the wild ones, but believe me... we're out there.

Samira Kernher

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #136 on: 18 Apr 2013, 23:56 »

All the heterosexual ERP or relationships I've ever seen tends to be fairly vanilla, if somewhat enhanced with FutureToys™ or GallenteKink. Straight characters seem to have fairly non-sadistic relationships. Tenderness, communication, egalitarian dynamic, with a little bit of contrived melodrama because this is RP, after all.

Speaking as someone who in other RP universes have freqeuntly played aggressive and outright violent heterosexual relationships, I'll say you're just not looking hard enough. :P I'm sure some exist in EVE, too.
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Makkal

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #137 on: 19 Apr 2013, 00:44 »

But that also begs the question, why did your character have to be homosexual?
One question to be asked is "How does being a lesbian (or any sexual preference for that matter) add to the character?"

Being a lesbian is not like being a good aligned drow. It doesn't need special justification.

No one asks people who play straight characters to explain what being straight adds to the character. No one says that playing a man 'begs the question' of why their character had to be a man. There is no special term for 'Space Whiteys.'

Why are some characters lesbian? Because they are. That's all the rationale needed.
« Last Edit: 19 Apr 2013, 01:34 by Makkal »
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Creep

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #138 on: 19 Apr 2013, 07:57 »

<snip>

I play a woman married to a woman. I live exclusively in highsec, and have for the better part of a year now. She's married. She wants children. She likes long walks on the beach and snuggling in front of the fireplace. She does not abuse or rape everything with tits. She doesn't even come close to domestic violence. The worst she's ever done is slap her wife on the butt in bed.

I think maybe you're just not noticing the normal couples among the wild ones, but believe me... we're out there.
What I got from the rest of this thread is that you portray a very realistic character with a realistic relationship, so I've no doubt of this.

I was adding commentary to the "SpaceLesbian" concept.
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Lyn Farel

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #139 on: 19 Apr 2013, 08:04 »

But that also begs the question, why did your character have to be homosexual?
One question to be asked is "How does being a lesbian (or any sexual preference for that matter) add to the character?"

Being a lesbian is not like being a good aligned drow. It doesn't need special justification.

No one asks people who play straight characters to explain what being straight adds to the character. No one says that playing a man 'begs the question' of why their character had to be a man. There is no special term for 'Space Whiteys.'

Why are some characters lesbian? Because they are. That's all the rationale needed.

Taken like that, that's actually a good point.

I think though Myyona quote "Why spacelesbian" might also be taken differently since the answer for a lot of people is obviously "nerdgasm". For us, it can be various other things, from "nothing in particular" (which is perfectly fine), to "might be interesting exploring in the caldari environnement" and the likes.
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Shintoko Akahoshi

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #140 on: 19 Apr 2013, 08:59 »

There is no special term for 'Space Whiteys.'

Oh, but there should be!

Logan Fyreite

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #141 on: 19 Apr 2013, 10:09 »

I hate to derail the thread with a little levity...

But I have to.
The worst she's ever done is slap her wife on the butt in bed.
Mhmmmm....

* Logan Fyreite gets popcorn

Go on?

end joke

So on a more serious note, sexual preference adds to a character by providing another facet to the character's being. It's like defining what tropes your character is. Helps to better explain the character and their motivations for you, the "author." For me at least.
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kalaratiri

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #142 on: 20 Apr 2013, 05:42 »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKZlIvMuLQ4&feature=youtube_gdata_player

"Being gay isn't about sex, it's about being in love"

Maybe not completly relevant to spaceship games, but certainly worth considering on a character level.
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Aria Jenneth

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #143 on: 20 Apr 2013, 09:54 »

"Space Lesbians" as a category are in bad odor for two reasons.

1) Stereotypically, the characters are both played by heterosexual men who are getting their jollies in ERP imagining two girls getting it on. The reason there's an issue here is that it moves the activity deep into the domain of "unambiguous pornography playing to male fantasies," with a perception that any relationship-based roleplay is ultimately an excuse, the outcome (abundant lesbian intercourse) a foregone conclusion.

2) The phenomenon's common enough that there's a difficult-to-escape suspicion that #1 is usually the case.

The result is that any lesbian couple in Eve is likely to encounter a certain amount of disdain, regardless of whether #1 is true or not.

Folks, I'm not going to say that anybody is "doing it wrong." I've done ERP, I liked it at the time, but I will freely admit that the tendency of my gender (male) to have a "thing" for lesbians bothers me a bit. The psychology's not difficult to track: "What's better than one naked girl? TWO! ... Or maybe, THREE!" (queue the "Major Kusanagi on vacation" scene from the original "Ghost In The Shell" manga).

The scene doesn't occur for the benefit of the characters involved, but for detached, invisible male observers. It's objectifying as hell.

If those of you who are engaged in roleplay that either tracks or superficially resembles this pattern can extract what the Supreme Court would call "artistic merit" (congratulations! Your RP is now protected speech) (the bar's really not high), more power to you.

If not, it's none of my business unless you ask me to discuss it.
« Last Edit: 20 Apr 2013, 10:05 by Aria Jenneth »
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Katrina Oniseki

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #144 on: 20 Apr 2013, 11:05 »

If those of you who are engaged in roleplay that either tracks or superficially resembles this pattern

What exactly is the 'pattern'? Lesbian ERP? Enjoying Lesbian ERP?

Aria Jenneth

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #145 on: 20 Apr 2013, 13:42 »

If those of you who are engaged in roleplay that either tracks or superficially resembles this pattern

What exactly is the 'pattern'? Lesbian ERP? Enjoying Lesbian ERP?

Hm. Well, that's part of the problem, really: from an outside perspective, it doesn't even matter whether there is any ERP going on at all.

Guys sometimes (I'd even say "often") play girls so as to engage in lesbian ERP. It Is Known.

It doesn't matter whether it's true in a specific case. Outsiders to the relationship can only assume what is going on and why, and will make those assumptions, fairly or not. A guy playing a woman who is engaged in a same-sex romantic relationship will be presumed to be doing it for this reason.

That's where a lot of the criticism comes from.

If it's worth it to you, for whatever reason (great RP, great ... um, other stuff, whatever reason), great. But you should be aware that some of the heat you may be taking has nothing to do with the portrayed relationship and everything to do with the underlying, OOC reasons for its existence. Rightly or wrongly, there is a critique of this pattern from a feminist perspective that has nothing whatsoever to do with criticizing actual lesbians.

Unless my opinion is asked, I don't consider this stuff any of my business. Others, however, may have reasons for taking offense (or at least rolling their eyes) that have nothing to do with homophobia and a lot more to do with objecting to what they consider a tawdry, voyeuristic exercise in male wish fulfillment.

I share some of that concern even if I don't normally have anything to say about it. However, I don't consider it fair to judge RP relationships I know little about. There's a lot to be learned, perhaps, in an earnest effort to simulate a romantic involvement between women.

That's me, but it's not everyone. Same-sex female IC relationships come at the cost of being assumed to be a couple of guys getting their jollies, and little if anything more.

Unfair, perhaps. Inevitable, yes. And while pornography in general is widely accepted and enjoyed, it is not unproblematic, not least when it comes to informing male attitudes about women and female attitudes about themselves.

In fairness, neither is portrayal of women in advertising, movies, television, video games, society at large (pink is STILL for girls), and on and on and on.
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Katrina Oniseki

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #146 on: 20 Apr 2013, 14:05 »

Oh, I think I see what you're saying now. It's still hogwash.

People will assume XYZ, so thus you are guilty of XYZ and it's okay for them to be offended and insult your RP.

You say that it's inevitable that people will assume we're objectifying women, and you also suggest that this is somehow okay to be offended based on those assumptions? If anybody assumes this is what it's about, that my role-play is simply to objectify women sexually, then their own offense is their own fault. Not mine. Not my RP partner's. Theirs. When someone assumes without knowing the facts, that's what they get. Self made offense.

I am not going to apologize for my roleplay because someone has a kneejerk reaction to men doing something they think should only be done by women.

For the record... those assumptions are a perfect example of something called sexism. Amazing how that works huh?

EDIT:

I will note that you're simply saying this is why people are throwing heat at us. That's not an excuse. It may explain it, but it doesn't excuse it.
« Last Edit: 20 Apr 2013, 14:15 by Katrina Oniseki »
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Aria Jenneth

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #147 on: 20 Apr 2013, 14:49 »

Oh, I think I see what you're saying now. It's still hogwash.

People will assume XYZ, so thus you are guilty of XYZ and it's okay for them to be offended and insult your RP.

No. Assume that actions A, B, and C show a close correlation with underlying factors X, Y, and Z. Thus, if you do ABC, people will assume XYZ.

The assumption will be accurate in a great many cases, inaccurate in some. Ironically, there are places where our criminal justice system works on similar principles as a means of achieving what we optimistically term "justice." If you want to hear some horror stories, ask me for concrete examples.

Quote
You say that it's inevitable that people will assume we're objectifying women, and you also suggest that this is somehow okay to be offended based on those assumptions? If anybody assumes this is what it's about, that my role-play is simply to objectify women sexually, then their own offense is their own fault. Not mine. Not my RP partner's. Theirs. When someone assumes without knowing the facts, that's what they get. Self made offense.

If that's how you prefer to look at it-- judging those who judge-- fair enough. But you should be aware that their assumptions are not based on nothing, and their objection to what they believe they see is likewise not based on air.

Quote
I am not going to apologize for my roleplay because someone has a kneejerk reaction to men doing something they think should only be done by women.

Do you understand what the position of the player is in a scene of this type-- both puppet-master and voyeur? Do you understand why anybody would find that situation troubling?

Quote
For the record... those assumptions are a perfect example of something called sexism. Amazing how that works huh?

You mean, assuming that heterosexual guys are engaged in ERP for reasons more libidinous than sociological?

Yeah, there was a time when I used to think that statues and paintings of nudes were "celebrations of the human form." Turns out, those "celebrations" are typically occasioned by the libidinous feelings they inspire.

Katrina, with respect, you're throwing out the word "sexism" a little easily, and, also with respect, you're applying it in a similar manner to the way white people sometimes accuse black people of racism. This isn't to say that feminists can't be sexist or that darker skinned people can't be racist; obviously, both are possible. But you're wielding a cleaver; a scalpel is called for if you want to actually grok this stuff rather than just defending yourself.

I try to avoid using emotionally or politically charged labels where I can, partly because I have such a dark view of humanity in general and partly because the apparent evils they apply to are so damned easy to find. "Sexism" is pervasive, and damned near impossible to escape, not least because there are obvious differences between the sexes and yet the "differences" are so caught up in cultural programming that it is nigh-impossible for a lay observer such as myself to say where society ends and biology begins. It seems to be just as impossible for the experts, but they may have better information.

"Racism," too, is pervasive, though even the concept of "race" appears to be almost entirely cultural, so we might actually get out of those woods someday. (Hey, I can be an optimist.)

What I would argue here is that (1) a pattern of behavior exists; (2) its implications are troubling to many, and not for no reason; (3) behaviors appearing to follow this pattern will therefore be seen by many as troubling.

People react to being troubled differently. Some do it by being jerks-- and often think they're justified in doing so.

People will find justification for acting badly in a whole lot of places. Actually, the people I (irony of ironies) am quickest to judge are often those quickest to judge. Probably that's why I do the kind of work I do.

If you're content to condemn those who condemn you, fine, have fun, but expect little sympathy from me as you become one of a pair of poles. I'm much more interested in learning why things work as they do than in trying to say how they should.

Feel justified, or don't. I don't particularly care who's "right"; I'm just interested in why people function as they do.
« Last Edit: 20 Apr 2013, 15:19 by Aria Jenneth »
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Aria Jenneth

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #148 on: 20 Apr 2013, 15:11 »

Hm. Thinking about it a little more, I don't think most people who roll their eyes at "space lesbians" are doing so because they looked at the whole phenomenon through the "feminist lens" of literary criticism (that's what the above is mostly about-- reading underlying, often unintended messages found in a text). What I stated above is more of a scholarly critique. It's what you'd be getting if you ran it in front of a bunch of liberal arts professors (or former students with a good memory). Most people don't even notice stuff like that, even if they're absorbing the messages sent.

Probably, it's more like this:

1. Men in New Eden are real men, and so (often) are the women.

2. Guys playing women in lesbian relationships are usually doing so for the ERP.

3. People tend to roll their eyes at ERP in general. I'd have to think a bit further about exactly why; I don't think the answer's simple (though I'm sure somebody could cough up a few pithy lines that would get at least part of it).

4. Lesbian relationships are usually ERP + there are lots of lesbian relationships = conclusion that there's a lot of ERP going on and that the lesbian relationships are a product of that.

5. People tend to roll their eyes at "space lesbians" in particular as the most obvious ERP-ers.

There. That makes more basic sense.
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Aria Jenneth

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Re: "Space Lesbians"
« Reply #149 on: 20 Apr 2013, 16:09 »

EDIT:

I will note that you're simply saying this is why people are throwing heat at us. That's not an excuse. It may explain it, but it doesn't excuse it.

Correct. My observations, as with Aria's (and I often end up slipping into Aria's voice on this forum), are usually just that. If I have opinions of my own, they're often vague normative impressions rather than specific prescriptions-- or judgments.

I know better than to think "truth" is on my side, but I believe in trying to explain each perspective to the other. It gets me in no end of arguments.
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