Oh, I think I see what you're saying now. It's still hogwash.
People will assume XYZ, so thus you are guilty of XYZ and it's okay for them to be offended and insult your RP.
No. Assume that actions A, B, and C show a close correlation with underlying factors X, Y, and Z. Thus, if you do ABC, people will assume XYZ.
The assumption will be accurate in a great many cases, inaccurate in some. Ironically, there are places where our criminal justice system works on similar principles as a means of achieving what we optimistically term "justice." If you want to hear some horror stories, ask me for concrete examples.
You say that it's inevitable that people will assume we're objectifying women, and you also suggest that this is somehow okay to be offended based on those assumptions? If anybody assumes this is what it's about, that my role-play is simply to objectify women sexually, then their own offense is their own fault. Not mine. Not my RP partner's. Theirs. When someone assumes without knowing the facts, that's what they get. Self made offense.
If that's how you prefer to look at it-- judging those who judge-- fair enough. But you should be aware that their assumptions are not based on nothing, and their objection to what they believe they see is likewise not based on air.
I am not going to apologize for my roleplay because someone has a kneejerk reaction to men doing something they think should only be done by women.
Do you understand what the position of the player is in a scene of this type-- both puppet-master and voyeur? Do you understand why anybody would find that situation troubling?
For the record... those assumptions are a perfect example of something called sexism. Amazing how that works huh?
You mean, assuming that heterosexual guys are engaged in ERP for reasons more libidinous than sociological?
Yeah, there was a time when I used to think that statues and paintings of nudes were "celebrations of the human form." Turns out, those "celebrations" are typically occasioned by the libidinous feelings they inspire.
Katrina, with respect, you're throwing out the word "sexism" a little easily, and, also with respect, you're applying it in a similar manner to the way white people sometimes accuse black people of racism. This isn't to say that feminists can't be sexist or that darker skinned people can't be racist; obviously, both are possible. But you're wielding a cleaver; a scalpel is called for if you want to actually grok this stuff rather than just defending yourself.
I try to avoid using emotionally or politically charged labels where I can, partly because I have such a dark view of humanity in general and partly because the apparent evils they apply to are so damned easy to find. "Sexism" is pervasive, and damned near impossible to escape, not least because there are obvious differences between the sexes and yet the "differences" are so caught up in cultural programming that it is nigh-impossible for a lay observer such as myself to say where society ends and biology begins. It seems to be just as impossible for the experts, but they may have better information.
"Racism," too, is pervasive, though even the concept of "race" appears to be almost entirely cultural, so we might actually get out of those woods someday. (Hey, I can be an optimist.)
What I would argue here is that (1) a pattern of behavior exists; (2) its implications are troubling to many, and not for no reason; (3) behaviors appearing to follow this pattern will therefore be seen by many as troubling.
People react to being troubled differently. Some do it by being jerks-- and often think they're justified in doing so.
People will find justification for acting badly in a whole lot of places. Actually, the people I (irony of ironies) am quickest to judge are often those quickest to judge. Probably that's why I do the kind of work I do.
If you're content to condemn those who condemn you, fine, have fun, but expect little sympathy from me as you become one of a pair of poles. I'm much more interested in learning why things work as they do than in trying to say how they should.
Feel justified, or don't. I don't particularly care who's "right"; I'm just interested in why people function as they do.