Which leads to a more interesting question; so far my current partner lives long distance and since there is only so much that can be done over the internet (which is likely more then you think...) we haven't had to create a safe word yet, nor have I really had any ideas that he hasn't pretty much adored yet. How do you go about picking a word that isn't too common but would be perfectly understood if used? I personally could never see bringing harm to someone in the bedroom, even accidentally, and want to make sure I never do.
Because trust me - someone disrespecting a "no" in the bedroom can be a life devastating event for both parties. So I am wanting to learn as much as I can to make sure I never *ever* do to someone else what has happened to me.
Damnit Miz you beat me to this, anyway, posting it anyway since its already typed out
picking a safe word is pretty easy, there is just a few pieces of criterion it needs:
1. Be easily remembered by both parties
2. Able to be easily mumbled, this becomes especially important when using gags
3. Something that's not going to be said by accident
I actually have two safewords, the first one is the slow down, I'm not liking the direction this is going safe word, and that one is blackbird. The second one is the No, stop it, all stop right now, and that is Falcon. Simple, easy to remember, not accidentally going to say it.
Now, something important needs to be realized, both parties need to completely understand what the safewords
mean. I know a lot of subs don't like to use them because their afraid they'll disappoint their Dom, this is a stupid, if understandable position to be in, I know because I was in it for a while. A safeword is not there to hurt feelings, its there for the safety of both people and there is nothing to be ashamed about when using it.
Also, the sub isn't the only one who should have a safeword, the Dom should have one too.
I'm new to this, and I'm fairly bad at explaining but I think that makes for a good readers digest version, and Meb and Miz, feel free to correct me.