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[Zuzanna Alondra]

Two people have figured out my real intention behind remaking this thread, one by accident, one completely avoided posted here and contacted me outside the game to make sure I was ok.

Call it a silent plea for advice - my marriage had turned neglectful - my husband barely noticing my existence on a day to day basis.  There seemed little to no interest in the at the time pending arrive of Lisa (he's happy for her now though).  Things got worse and worse until in December he did something awful to me that has left me feeling empty, hurt and unhappy since.

Before that point I never understood how someone could cross the OOC/IC line and reach beyond the characters and become more then friends with the player.

Yet now I'm on the verge of divorce and bury myself often in my character because she's happy.  But I can't do this anymore - because it's a lie.  It's me hiding from the painful reality that I can't save my own marriage, but can't seem to let it go either.

And so now when the adulteress realizes what she had done and tries to take the steps to right the wrong, she loses both.  I don't blame my friend for hurting and wanting me to go away.  I wouldn't be able to watch someone I loved stay with someone who raped them either.

This post hopefully doesn't break rules.. call it a messed up sort of public love letter.
Because that's what the OP really was - and the person it was intended for found it the first time.

[Casiella]

I'm so sorry to hear of your pain, and I pray you find comfort, solace, and peace.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

I'll find it if it's not too late.  I'm hoping to work with someone a bit for help.

[Silver Night]

[admin]Leaving this up, split to a new topic (OOG). Don't think it breaks any rules, at first look. I would like to warn everyone now to post carefully or not at all, on this topic. Consider if a private message might not be more appropriate.[/admin]

Sounds like you are going through a rough time, Zu. My best wishes are with you.

[Casiella]

From other comments, you sound like you have a full support network available to you (family, friends, spiritual advisors, and hopefully health advisors). I hope you can make use of them all.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Thanks you two - and thank you for splitting the topic Silver - much more fitting for it to be in the speakeasy section.

[Ashar Kor-Azor]

I just found this thread.

Best of luck to you, Zuzanna. I hope time is a help in improving things for you.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Honest answer - no... but I am just taking things a day at a time.  I got my baby girl, so I cuddle up with her alot.

Marriage counseling starts next week - so I'll see how that goes I guess.  Figures the husband notices me again once the "D" word comes out.

Take this as a hint boys - whens the last time you got your girl flowers when you weren't in trouble.  If you have to think about it - ya might take her out of the house for some date time.  If money is the issue, I can name off dozens of romantic things you can do.

[Vieve]

Honest answer - no... but I am just taking things a day at a time.  I got my baby girl, so I cuddle up with her alot.

Marriage counseling starts next week - so I'll see how that goes I guess.  Figures the husband notices me again once the "D" word comes out.

Fear's a damn good motivator. 

Hate that this is happening to you.  Hope things get better sooner than later, however 'better' looks for you.

[Mathra Hiede]

Damn Zu - I really wasn't expecting this and I wish you the best as you really don't deserve this.

As for your reminder to guys (Spoiler warning is simply here out of due dilligence and respect for Zuzanna) [spoiler]I shall add that any man who is unfaithful, disrespectful and deceitful doesn't deserve amazing and wonderful women like Zuzanna, appreciate what you have and do them the justice of showing them you love them.
[/spoiler]

[Havohej]

You don't know the half...

[Zuzanna Alondra]

That is very kind of you Mathra - Thank you.

At the moment I'm in a bit of a pinch.  My husband finally is being the model husband, perfect dad and taking life seriously... and my gut response is - buck short and a day late.  But I have to do whats best for my daughter and I, which right now is finish school, and don't do anything that could make me loose the house, fight a custody battle or estrange my family.

But as my friend Fox Ranger said, "If your still this distraught when she gets a bit older you are going to have to do something or it will hurt her."  Fox is very much the family christian man that would *never* suggest or imply a split was an option if it wasn't bad.  It's nice having a friend a few doors down - now to get him to log in so you all can meet him.

[Casiella]

I can't speak as to your specific experience, obviously, because I don't know it, but in general, I believe that even when somebody makes a MAJOR mistake (blunder / sin / whatever term you prefer), they can turn around from it, show repentance (very different from just "apologize"), and be forgiven.

But that's really more of my life stance informed by my own belief structure.

[Mathra Hiede]

I can't speak as to your specific experience, obviously, because I don't know it, but in general, I believe that even when somebody makes a MAJOR mistake (blunder / sin / whatever term you prefer), they can turn around from it, show repentance (very different from just "apologize"), and be forgiven.

But that's really more of my life stance informed by my own belief structure.

In regards to that I have a Real example of that happening.

My best mates dad at some point in the last couple of years had his "Mid-Life-Crisis" and started being unfaithful to his wife and bought a sports bike, etc etc.

It nearly destroyed the family but luckily for them all, he DID see the error of his ways and came back, returned to being the great father he was and got his head out of the toilet seat where he had managed to get it stuck.

So - it can happen, it just takes alot for the trust to be built back up, things are worth giving a second chance, to wisdom comes when you know if that second chance really works - if so, thank god and all his blessings, if not then don't linger any longer than you need to - the long term damage it can cause is an almost irrepairable thing that leaves scars for a long time.

I really do wish you the best Zu, no-one should ever be put through these circumstances and its not the first time I simply wished I could teleport somewhere and introduce someone to the simple concept of "honesty" [My means however, remain my own >_>]

[Zuzanna Alondra]

The ability to teleport would be wonderful right now - I've dreamt of having that very "super-power" several times - that could be a fun thread for another day in itself.

But I think if I could teleport it would freak the hell out of other people if I just appeared in their rooms.