All characters emulate their creator in one way or another, and the severity of this is dependent on the writer themselves. In my opinion, whether it's self-insert or as far as it can be, both of those don't even matter at all. What DOES matter is the separation of your own personal feelings with the actual interactions this character has with other individuals. The IC/OOC divide in many people is completely shattered in EVE, and I can say this with utmost confidence. There have been too many times where someone does something OOC without thinking of the IC and then has to pass it off / make excuses for it in-character, sacrificing consistency of their own character or the respect they have, OOCly, from others.
Essentially what you're saying is you cannot take what other characters do at face value wholly in the context of what they say and do within the boundaries of the game, and have to justify in-character decisions to OOC opinions and "Respect" -- which is odd when considering that the setting can be seen to be premised on self-interest and realpolitik. Doing something out of self-benefit for a character, either out of a consequentialist, "Ends justify the means" or even just because all that ISK was too damn tempting and then having to try and justify it in-character when it runs counter to what people thought your character was all about doesn't seem all that surprising or remarkable to me.
However, to speak about how the OOC/IC divide is shattered and saying that doing so loses OOC respect and not IC respect as in your character reacting to that with, "How could you do that, I thought you were different man," Seems a bit ironic and hypocritical to me.
I've disagreed on occasion with what roleplayers do, and how they might interpret the lore, but when it comes down to it irrespective of my own opinions as a player when an interaction becomes IC then I'm going to take things at face value as presented IC by other parties and deal with it IC.
It becomes irresponsible in SOME ways (only some) to overextend my potential power as a character and as a player of EVE to utterly aggress and/or destroy others because RP is not about "winning" or "look how much more IC I am than you," it's about fostering those stories and inter-character relationships.
This presents another hypocrisy for me. You talk about how doing something OOC without thinking of the IC would lead to a loss of respect and then proceed to imply that if a character by virtue of their IC advantages such as sp, ISK, experience, contacts etc., creates a situation where they overmatch other rp'ers in a conflict scenario the player is expected, OOC, to curtail the advantages of their own character? How does that make any sense IC for that character, if IC they want to succeed in their goals?
Where's the loss of respect in that then? Is a story about how one side lost somehow invalid? Is having to deal with IC consequences of a defeat to be considered somehow illegitimate for character development?
In addition to that, as you have learned from this thread and as you have experienced, there are, like I said, so so so many where OOC comes first and IC comes second with respect to IC/OOC divide. It is not unusual or unexpected to automatically assume the others have wardecced/whatever you because OOCly, they want to get their kicks. It's common. Expected, even. I hate a lot of people in this fucking game and a lot of corporations, too. I only wish I could burn them to the ground, sometimes, but outside of logistical problems (i.e. I'm only one fucking dude), I refuse to.
Well I don't really get why I'd hate another person in RP, or hell even just video games in general. However it does get to my original point: if some rp'ers get invested in or identify with their characters to the extent they're emotionally compromised into feeling about that character then it's going to lead to a lot of misunderstandings in my view. If, for example, one hates other roleplayers for their in-character actions then it's pretty hard for that person to distinguish the notion that maybe others don't wardec or fight other groups because they "hate" them, or are emotionally invested into their characters to the same extent they are.
That to me is an example of attribution of OOC motive due to a difference in perspective in how to engage with or through a character:
Oh, those guys must be griefers and really hate so and so group of rpers because the only reason I'd do something like that is because I really hate another group.
Which to me is why there's so much drama -- there's too much talk about the player motivations for character actions rather than just taking character actions at their face value for what they are.
You are the writer. You are responsible for the character. You must make decisions to influence your character, and to keep the consistency of the interweaved story of EVE alive, or else RP dies. If someone does some dumb shit, and the dumb shit is so utterly dumb and repulsive ICly that it necessitates a wardec, go for it. Kill 'em all. My point is that just because you have the tools to shoot at a target doesn't mean you must shoot at it. Sometimes pointing the gun is enough.
My character is a fictional proxy I construct to explore the gameworld as a vehicle of my own immersion. The decisions made to influence my character exist in accordance with the construction of that construct's particular goals, motivations, and personality which dependent on the character venn diagram may or may not overlap with myself as their player.