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The Sukuuvestaa Corporation, or SuVee as it is commonly known, is the head of the self-proclaimed 'practical' faction within the Caldari State? Read more here.

Author Topic: [YC 119 New Eden Capsuleer's Writing Contest]Poetry  (Read 185 times)

Gesakaarin

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  • It's not like I wanted you to scram me Senpai baka

Entry as Veikitamo Gesakaarin:

Title:The Rime of Identifying as a Kestrel Frigate

One to one I duel at top sun
The Kestrel spreads its wings
Only missiles no need for gun
Rage and the Scourge to bring

Burning towards the dangerzone
Thermal safeties redline
Tongue tasting the warmth of ozone
Heat rising up my spine

Hot enough the weed is now lit
As it says in Scripture
Passage Four and Twenty praise it
Drunk with vodka mixture

They keep on holding on to hope
But I will never die
Rockets are fired with no scope
Local salt as they cry

No mad as crew die to spalling
Unlike rifle Mark 8
There is not a trigger warning
Embrace the final fate

Now killmail has been confirmed
How, I am asked with strain
I consider with smile not stern
A laugh: "I do cocaine."
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Ayallah

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Re: [YC 119 New Eden Capsuleer's Writing Contest]Poetry
« Reply #1 on: 02 Aug 2017, 15:49 »

Good mix of cadence and images and clever wording but ultimately falls short because you tried to force so many cultural references in.

The first two passages are excellent and engaging, the motion there makes me want to read your work on a more serious subject.
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Fear the Tribes

Stutzer

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Re: [YC 119 New Eden Capsuleer's Writing Contest]Poetry
« Reply #2 on: 10 Oct 2017, 16:13 »

I can almost see the Caldari NCO take the piss out of the greenhorns with this one over a round at the commissary.
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