Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Lyn Farel]

I also remember that when I was a kid I loved bike riding in forests.

[Lasairiona]

A lot of good ideas on this thread and I wish you the best of luck Kat.  It's good for your girls to have a parent that really cares and wants to be involved.  The only thing I'd add that I didn't see mentioned are American Girl dolls are very popular with girls in that age range in my area and they have some good educational/historical value too with associated craft projects and books. Also during the summer you might want to look into whether any local campgrounds with nice swim facilities or swim clubs allow for guest visitors - it can make for a nice fun outing!

I loved my American girl dolls :-)

[Katrina Oniseki]

In regard to sleep, I can recommend warm milk with honey before going to bed, it helps sleeping soundly!

Tried this tonight, just now.

At first I thought it worked more as a placebo effect, as she's more interested in making anything I attempt a success, especially if she has any say in it. She had like three sips and said it's already working... I was skeptical, but played along.

Seems to have worked though. Fancy that.

[Nicoletta Mithra]

Milk contains melatonin, which is a hormone that is sleep-inducing and leads to a more easy and calm sleep. It also contains Tryptophan, which is metabolized to Serotonine with is also sleep inducing.

Due to the levels of melatonin found in milk being lower than what can be shown to be pharmacologically active and the same being true in regard to the tryptophane, there is certainly a psychological effect at work. One should remember here that we are from birth onward conditioned to associate drinking milk with being safe at our mother's side!

Happy to hear that it worked, seemingly!

[Katrina Oniseki]

Had a chat with the oldest today about the police. Her mother and stepfather do not like the police (more of a cultural dislike), so she is 'scared' of police and assumes they are bad people. I explained to her what the police are for, how they are there to help and make sure people follow the rules. Just like a mommy and daddy make sure little girls follow the rules, the police are there to make sure mommies and daddies (grown-ups) follow the rules too.

I told her about how they are just regular people like me and her mother who go to work every day. She was surprised to learn police work at night too, when everybody is supposed to be sleeping. I explained how even police have mommies and daddies, daughters and sons, sisters and brothers, and some even have kitty cats too. It was mildly surprising to me how scary the police initially were to her. She seemed genuinely surprised to find out they are regular people just making sure grown-ups follow the rules. She even wants to thank a policeman the next time she sees one now.

Granted, I may be simplifying things... and she'll probably develop her own healthy skepticism of police later on in life (especially as a teenager)... but I didn't want her to dislike them and see them as monsters who are 'out to get her family' just because of the visceral emotional reactions adults tend to exhibit when pulled over.

Thoughts? This is an example of me trying to be a good parent without really knowing if I'm doing good or not. >.>

UPDATE 2:

Just got back from taking her to go see the horses that live nearby. She was nervous, but excitedly had her first experience seeing a real horse up close. She's still going on about how big they are (and they were small horses). Good stuff.

[orange]

I want my son to be willing to go up to a police officer, firefighter, or even security guard and ask them for help, especially if heavens forbid I or his mother is incapacitated for some reason.

When they are teenagers and able to understand the world a bit better, then we can worry about the "only in emergencies do you need to call the cops" and "always ask for a lawyer to be present when you are being questioned by a government agent."

[Katrina Oniseki]

DERP.

I totally forgot to mention that she should look for police to ask them for help. Had the whole conversation without actually saying she should ask police for help if she's ever lost or scared. Seems so obvious now that you mention it, but I forgot to mention it. I'll have a sequel conversation once she's not distracted by hula-hoops.

[Lasairiona]

My dad is a retired deputy sheriff. Good convo to have :-)

[Davlos]

Buy Warhammer minis

Teach them how to paint them well

???? (Ebay)

Profit!

[Katrina Oniseki]

Mealtime: An Exercise In Frustration, Ending With Leftovers

ALRIGHT. So, my Youngest (4) has issues with eating. She's at that stage where she's very very picky about what she will eat and poorly judges how hungry she is. She also doesn't really understand the concept of food waste, which is normal. All this is typical, or so I hear, that kids will often ask for food they don't have the room for, simply because the other child actually is hungry or because they thought about the food. Or that they will find seemingly preposterous reasons for why they don't like it. Like a tiny flake of parsley on the noodle, so the rest of the bowl is ruined. In some cases, I can eat what they don't want, but more often than not I'm simply overwhelmed with leftovers.

My child, in specific, tends to ask for something specific, take a few bites, and want something different - refusing to eat what she asked for and has been given. At first, I tried to play along, but it quickly became apparent that we were throwing away far more than she actually ate. Now we're at an impasse, and she is beginning to get upset and complain to the angry-ex that [other parent] won't give her any food, which is simply untrue!

In smaller situations where she demonstrates this indecisiveness on food several times and I get frustrated and give her the choice of what she has in front of her or nothing at all, she will often choose nothing and then be angry with me. During major mealtimes like Dinner or Breakfast or Lunch we'll compromise and allow her to skip the less important parts of the meal, having her eat the meat and veggies and skip the potatoes, for example.

How do you as parents handle this? Do you cook smaller special-snowflake meals for the picky eater, or try to enforce a sense of "Eat What You're Given"? Do you go somewhere in the middle? How do you handle leftovers, or changed minds, or requests for meals that cannot be saved (like a bowl of cereal with milk)? How do you tell the difference between boredom requests for food, and actual hunger?

The best idea I can come up with is to cease giving food at any time of day it's requested, and set specific times for meals that they'll need to wait for. That way, we can be sure they are ready for the meals, have not overeaten, and will be less likely to waste food.

[Lyn Farel]

Compromising is the worst idea with kids from what I know. They will see their whining works and will try to push the line even further every time. And then they eventually become detestable pricks. It's often best to make them understand that you can be nice to them as long as they are nice themselves. Which means here, eating their food and stfu. I don't count the times where I, as a kid, was forced to eat what I was given and I didn't even have the choice not to eat anything at all. It worked, since I eventually grudgingly ate what was given.

I was even threatened at times to be forced to eat it like gooses are fed with a funnel, as silly as it sounds, children will believe everything, and it worked too. Or other threats like "if you don't eat it now you will eat it at breakfast tomorrow"... And you usually don't want to eat leftovers of vegetables or meat at breakfast.

Though at times they tried to bait me into doing it with a promising dessert, or that kind of stuff. It helped at little, and makes the kid more quick to eat and eager to get to the dessert in question.

I'm not a parent though, only my own experience of what I have witnessed in my family.


Edit : I want to add that it may sound rude, but it wasn't really. It was just being firm, and eventually me and my brother/sister got used rather fast to it. We used to continue to complain, but as we perfectly knew how it was going to end (as usual), it didnt last too long.


Edit 2 : i'm no specialist, but giving food at any time in the day is NO NO NO from every doctor and sources I have heard. Its paving its way to obesity and very bad habits. Kids have to learn there are times to eat, and get along with it.

[orange]

I am in slightly different situation with my son, because he has to eat all his carbs in a timely fashion.

I definitely think defined meal and snack times help.  You can also try including them in meal planning, this creates the catch-22 of they need to eat what they helped come up with.

Having a planned simple dessert (like a chocolate square or scope of ice cream), with the condition of eating the rest of the meal first, provides a reward for good behavior.  If she doesn't finish the main meal, then clearly there is no room for the small dessert.

Lastly, while it is frustrating as the parent, not excusing them from the table until their plate is clean is a classic.  However, you need to sit there until they are done!  For you, it maybe possible to use the older one being excused and playing as a carrot for the young one to eat up.

[Katrina Oniseki]

Lastly, while it is frustrating as the parent, not excusing them from the table until their plate is clean is a classic.  However, you need to sit there until they are done!  For you, it maybe possible to use the older one being excused and playing as a carrot for the young one to eat up.

That is what my mother did with me, except she did not stay there with me the whole time. I simply wasn't allowed to get up from the table and play until I was done. Then again, I tended to do what I was told. She doesn't. I'll push the food more forcefully, as I already have been doing, "Take another bite!".

I'll see about working out defined meal times, I think. It seems to be the most reasonable solution.

[Repentence Tyrathlion]

And you usually don't want to eat leftovers of vegetables or meat at breakfast.

Leftovers are an excellent breakfast!

...though often a better lunch, so I generally save them up and cerealise for breakfast.

Flippancy aside, I don't recall ever having issues with food.  I suspect that in pre-memory days, I had a very 'eat what you're given' approach taken with me, and it stuck.  I find picky eaters highly irritating - I remember staying with a friend's family for a while, and the sister (in her late teens) going out of her way to make her own junk food rather than partaking in the same as the rest of us - including, on one occasion, something that I'd specially made for everyone.  I was ready to chew carpet over that.  Nice girl, but... grrr.  Do everyone (yourself included) a favour, and don't let the little 'un develop that habit.

[Katrina Oniseki]

And you usually don't want to eat leftovers of vegetables or meat at breakfast.

Leftovers are an excellent breakfast!

...though often a better lunch, so I generally save them up and cerealise for breakfast.

Not for kids! Daughter wanted plain noodles, so I served her some plain leftover noodles. NOPE.