Thanks to all for input/advice. First to explain a couple of things (and forgive me if I wander a little):
The Red God thing...part of that was more the player not really sure what it is and it is a shortcoming I have when it comes to lore. I want to be playing and that part of the brain sees reading up on stuff that may or may not be relevant to be taking away from time that could be spent playing. That said, I have been doing some reading (having two monitors has helped curb the 'wasting time' perception). I do know I need to read more, EVE has a rich history. The other issue was, when I saw it mention, because I didn't really know what was going on, I defaulted to "observe the reactions of others"...and then in the course of a minute that incident seemed to just get brushed over and I still didn't know how Steff was going to react.
Shin, the offer regarding fencing info will be useful, though not sure how much sword-use will happen
I have a couple of friends in a club called the AES which practice the Western European sword-fighting techniques. It is fascinating to watch.
Drama...I've been thinking about that a lot lately and right now my gut-feeling is that I'm precariously close to that ledge of "too-much-bad-shit" with Steff. I don't want to handwave it away, but at the same time, I'm getting to the point where I want to sit her down and tell her to grow up. So, with that in mind, I've started sketching out in my head (which is probably a bad place to keep sketches by the way) the course to resolving some of her angst issue and having it seem plausible. I'm just not sure if I want to have it revealed in conversation in game or write it out and place it here Backstage.
Playing to Win (or Being Afraid to Lose): I would like to think I'm not afraid to lose. I think Morwen mentioned somewhere that one of the things that had been endearing about Steff was the two day period where I lost somewhere in the order of 6 Algos-destroyers and the conversation around that. I do want to succeed and I do suffer from a personality quirk where I demand of myself absolute perfection the first time I attempt anything, but given that I haven't rage-flipped my desk and done a format c:\ on my computer tells me I have a handle on that situation.
I am also not worried all that much about the success of the corp/order. I may be going about it the wrong way and it is because of that I haven't been all that public about the order. I realize that I could (and maybe should) simply just keep to a code of conduct/honor and not be working on setting up a corp. On the flip side, I've been enjoying piecing things together and building it.
And this is where I am probably at a disconnect between RP, 'mechanics', and the EVE community; I'll try to explain. The primary reason for the order is an RP thing that, as I think about it, would work wonderfully in a work of fiction. I want to have something in place where other characters, not just those I interact with on a constant basis, can see what Steff is trying to do and either challenge her to back up her claims or even call BS. I think part of it stems from seeing too many cases where someone says "my character has a code of honor" and does nothing to define it so other characters/players/GMs have no way of holding that character to account.
I probably could just put her vow up on IGS and call it a day, but I also didn't want to hide behind the shield of an NPC corporation...if someone (or a group) wants to declare war, oddly, I want to give them that option. Don't like the Order, then do something about it. I know I have made it known that I'm not a big fan of pvp, and am not that good at it (at least from my experience in other MMOs...EVE being different, I don't know). That said, I have been thinking about it and realize that it has the potential of really messing things up (from a financial point of view), I am not going to shy away from it. Not necessarily going out looking for pvp, but if someone comes knocking, I'm not going to hide from it.
Still, I am sitting here and am wondering if I should move forward with a corp or just shelf it and put the history, the vow, and code up on IGS for public consumption and proceed to just RP the whole thing and if people are interested in it going from there.
Did I mention I have a tendency to over-analysis every option to the point where I almost can never make a decision?
Anyway, thank you for the input, the offer for assistance, and other advice. I am going to continue developing and pushing Steff and I am enjoying the whole thing (and will scale back the bittern00b).