Everywhere, trade-offs.
Also.
This link was included in another thread - a good read for the kids thread, and links to this article:
http://www.violentacres.com/archives/185/it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children/This article hit me sort of like a sucker punch to the face. I thought it would be worth discussing.
There is always a reason - always an excuse.
Below in spoiler tags is my rant on the subject that is rather lengthy - if you liked the article have fun reading it - if you didn't like the article - I recommend skipping it.
[spoiler] In my case I waited years - over 5. Carefully saved and planned from high school. Only dated guys that wanted children and seemed to have good work and school ethic (from what I could tell), worked in a daycare to learn parenting skills. Saved up to buy my own home, married and stayed married for years to someone that said they wanted kids. Worked hard to at least get my AA so when the child was older I could get a part time job while they were in school that wasn't embarrassing.
Waited until I had health insurance, a house, a seemingly stable happy marriage to remove the birth control.
Then seemingly all at once I got sick (didn't know I was pregnant yet), the septic tank failed, I lost my job and my drivers license (State law - if you faint you lose your license for 6 months ... go figure) and was stuck. To further break things - while things were never perfect - over the course of my pregnancy my husband and I drifted from "married - should spend more time together, but stable and happy enough to keep going" to "Get out of my house!"
The article is about showing your kid you love them by waiting to have them until you can afford to support them without government assistance. I remember working my ass off for that goal. When the moment I got pregnant my life 180'd - welfare helped because I had no choice.
But when I see someone in line at DSHS (welfare office in my state) who is having another kid, never worked and is only having another child to be able to keep her low income housing... I want to scream. I want to kick - I want to tell them how wrong what they are doing is.
Personally - I'm working to get off DSHS in the long run by using it short run to get an even better education so I can give my child a winter coat.
Love "Daddy" (or mommy if your a male reader), be the stay at home mom if you want - but don't follow my mistake - finish your education even if you plan to stay home *just in case* because you never know when the sky *will* fall - as one of this authors other articles says regarding child support, "Why should he pay you a dime? If he had died tomorrow what would of you of done?"
Thankfully for my own pride I can say when I got knocked up, even if life changed, "Work full time as an accountant to provide for her." [/spoiler]
All this guys rants are good reads imho.