Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[scagga]

What was the bit about non-standard couples?  I hope it's not what I think it is.

Children, particularly at their early stages, are fascinating beings.  Their bodies leave behind reflexes a few weeks/months into life, fuse bones and have tremendous potential for learning.  You watch them develop their faculties, with the forlorn hope that [responsible parent] won't make a mess of raising them.

Assisting in childbirth is something I've found to be a moving experience.  Very few things elicit an almost purely emotional response from me, and I think this is one of them.  What was particularly moving was an experience of tending to a baby (doing readings, etc) who'd been delivered by emergency caesarian.  At that point I'd spent more time interacting with this new being in our world than his own mother. The child required skin to skin contact as he may have felt alone and insecure while resting on the heated baby bed, and was satisfied with a gloved finger to grasp in his palm.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

*smiles*

I personally remember the nurse saying Lisa's temperature had dropped and she needed to be kept warm and they were talking about putting her in the nursery overnight.  The almost instinctive fear, "Don't take my baby" welled up and instead they took heat packs and put them in the bed with me so she could sleep on my tummy, warm, cozy and with me.

I remember being so happy I didn't care that I was tired.

Thank you Scagga.

[Ashar Kor-Azor]

What was the bit about non-standard couples?  I hope it's not what I think it is.

What thing?

[Casiella]

Assisting in childbirth is something I've found to be a moving experience.  Very few things elicit an almost purely emotional response from me, and I think this is one of them.  What was particularly moving was an experience of tending to a baby (doing readings, etc) who'd been delivered by emergency caesarian.  At that point I'd spent more time interacting with this new being in our world than his own mother. The child required skin to skin contact as he may have felt alone and insecure while resting on the heated baby bed, and was satisfied with a gloved finger to grasp in his palm.

I now have an entirely new (and positive! ) view of Scagga. <3

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Here's another interesting child rearing/related link I thought was interesting:

http://www.canadianfamily.ca/blog/familyjewels/open-question/2009/08/12/breast-feeding-doll-what-do-you-think/

Raises an interesting question about society's view on breastfeeding and baby dolls.

[Vieve]

Here's another interesting child rearing/related link I thought was interesting:

http://www.canadianfamily.ca/blog/familyjewels/open-question/2009/08/12/breast-feeding-doll-what-do-you-think/

Raises an interesting question about society's view on breastfeeding and baby dolls.

It also again makes me glad I have a son, not a daughter. 

[Casiella]

I have both. I can't articulate why this issue makes me uncomfortable, despite the fact that I'm completely comfortable with breastfeeding mothers.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

It also again makes me glad I have a son, not a daughter. 

I had been hoping for a boy myself for a similar reason.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Another charming link:

http://www.bitmob.com/articles/my-four-year-old-son-plays-grand-theft-auto

A parent of a four year old lets their child play Grand Theft Auto.  The results are amusing.

Enjoy.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Everywhere, trade-offs.

Also.

This link was included in another thread - a good read for the kids thread, and links to this article:

http://www.violentacres.com/archives/185/it-is-your-job-to-financially-provide-for-your-children/

This article hit me sort of like a sucker punch to the face.  I thought it would be worth discussing.

There is always a reason - always an excuse.

Below in spoiler tags is my rant on the subject that is rather lengthy - if you liked the article have fun reading it - if you didn't like the article - I recommend skipping it.



[spoiler] In my case I waited years - over 5.  Carefully saved and planned from high school.  Only dated guys that wanted children and seemed to have good work and school ethic (from what I could tell), worked in a daycare to learn parenting skills.  Saved up to buy my own home, married and stayed married for years to someone that said they wanted kids.  Worked hard to at least get my AA so when the child was older I could get a part time job while they were in school that wasn't embarrassing.

Waited until I had health insurance, a house, a seemingly stable happy marriage to remove the birth control.

Then seemingly all at once I got sick (didn't know I was pregnant yet), the septic tank failed, I lost my job and my drivers license (State law - if you faint you lose your license for 6 months ... go figure) and was stuck.  To further break things - while things were never perfect - over the course of my pregnancy my husband and I drifted from "married - should spend more time together, but stable and happy enough to keep going" to "Get out of my house!"

The article is about showing your kid you love them by waiting to have them until you can afford to support them without government assistance.  I remember working my ass off for that goal.  When the moment I got pregnant my life 180'd - welfare helped because I had no choice.

But when I see someone in line at DSHS (welfare office in my state) who is having another kid, never worked and is only having another child to be able to keep her low income housing... I want to scream.  I want to kick - I want to tell them how wrong what they are doing is.

Personally - I'm working to get off DSHS in the long run by using it short run to get an even better education so I can give my child a winter coat.

Love "Daddy" (or mommy if your a male reader), be the stay at home mom if you want - but don't follow my mistake - finish your education even if you plan to stay home *just in case* because you never know when the sky *will* fall - as one of this authors other articles says regarding child support, "Why should he pay you a dime?  If he had died tomorrow what would of you of done?"

Thankfully for my own pride I can say when I got knocked up, even if life changed, "Work full time as an accountant to provide for her." [/spoiler]

All this guys rants are good reads imho.

[Vikarion]

Zu, it's a gal, but in any case, thanks for linking that site. Her articles about her childhood and her way out of it were very encouraging to me.

[Vieve]

My mother had me when she was nineteen, after three years of marriage.  This was such a bad idea that even today I occasionally wish I had a time machine so I can go back, grab the sixteen year old her, shake her until her teeth rattles, and yell 'WTF are you thinking, wanting to marry a guy you met six weeks ago when he fell out of a car and puked on your shoes?'

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Zu, it's a gal, but in any case, thanks for linking that site. Her articles about her childhood and her way out of it were very encouraging to me.

My bad? *blush*

These articles are good non-the-less.

Right now however I am excited because I just got the cute little rubber spoons and as long as things don't get too crazy busy - (like last night) my little girl will be trying cereal for the first time.  I've got a bit of rice cereal and she's shown interest in tasting stuff.

@Vieve- I know the feeling, "Seriously Mom... 16 and a highschool drop out on drugs?  Grrrreat role-model there...." But the fact we know that's messed up means we are (hopefully) learning and doing better.  I admit I do like having a young and still active mom.

[Saede Riordan]

I can't ever have kids, this makes me sad, since its always something I've wanted.

and yeah, I can adopt, but it won't truly be my child then..

[Casiella]

Yes it will. Ask any parent who's raised a child with different biological parents.