We could have a whole discussion on its own about household news-sharing and informants. I have some theories about it, and about how discretion and infiltration work in a world with much less privacy than we're used to, but not enough to say definitively.
I think where we're up to is that it's clearly possible for people of even the highest ranks among the True Amarr to have sex with a slave. Falling for a slave is, however, beneath their dignity (and leads to the usual crises over duty, affection, lust, etc).
Also, what, precisely, would be the problem with Jamyl's teenage experiment with cryllisium before her father's funeral? I've heard cries of outrage about how it makes her unsuitable, but it seems to be one of the more innocuous ways of sowing one's wild oats. It's within her household, with little chance of public or dynastic consequences. It's somewhat context-inappropriate, but not disastrously so. Anyone want to fill in what I've missed?