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[Seriphyn]

CONCORD DED Public Capsuleer Datasheet
Name: Kiam Arreiz
DED Callsign: Kiam Arreiz
Blood Type: A-
Age: 26
Height: 171cm (5' 6")
Weight: 66kg (145lbs)
Hair Colour: Pale brown
Eye Colour: Light grey
Political Alignment: Quafe Corporation, Caldari State
Date of Birth: 87.02.02
Place of Birth: QIS Habitat 003, Saranen V
Employment History: Federal Defence Union, Federal Robotics
Status: Clear

DED Threat Assessment: Low
Notes: Pilot is skilled in the use of electronic warfare systems, and has been known to support Gallentean militia capsuleers in this capacity

Personality Assessment: Kiam Arreiz displays characteristics of both the Gallentean and Caldari cultures, as a result of being born on a Quafe-controlled gas giant in Lonetrek. She is ambitious, outgoing and compassionate, but often composes herself into a no-nonsense and professional disposition that is expected of a Caldari when the situation demands it. Although most tube children have an innate loyalty to the State by virtue of growing up in government-run orphanages, Arreiz's upbringing in a relatively liberal environment within Caldari meant that she does exhibit the jingoistic and/or xenophobic nationalism of her fellow citizens.

Physical Assessment: Kiam Arreiz, as a tube child, was engineered to have a very desirable and practical figure. Broad-shouldered, wide-hipped and what would otherwise be described as voluptous, she is built optimally for manual labour work and child-bearing. As a mercenary for the Federal Defence Union, often on planetary assignment, she further developed her physical form to be able to cope with rough climates and ground combat should the circumstances require it. She often wears bland Caldari clothing when in a formal or professional environment, or plain Gallentean wear when casual.

The idea is to create a "Gallenteanized" Caldari who still considers herself a loyal State citizen. Her birthplace, Saranen, has Quafe stations and one Ishukone Watch station in it, lending it to my belief that that system is controlled mostly by the Ninth Mega (Quafe) with some Ishukone holdings. She received her capsuleer training from the Science & Trade Institute (back when you couldn't pick what you wanted), which is coincedentally owned 70% by Ishukone. Since she was originally my dirty FW EW alt, she was in the FDU, which I'm seeking to explain as simple mercenary work in a support and auxiliary role, in her words, "There was greater opportunity in the rebuilding and reorganization of the Gallentean systems post-occupation than trying to maintain a corporate grip on them". I figured a 12-month contract in service to the Ishukone Agreement via the Federal Defence Union would fit, with her primary mission to ensure that their investments in Intaki are not damaged or compromised by a change in system occupancy. This contract has since expired.

What do people think? I want to maximize believability with what I have so far, so :3

Updated, and such.

[Ken]

I want to maximize believability

I'll address a few sticky points.

Kiam Arreiz displays characteristics of both the Gallentean and Caldari cultures, as a result of being born on a Quafe-controlled gas giant in Lonetrek. She is ambitious, outgoing and compassionate, but often composes herself into a no-nonsense and professional disposition that is expected of a Caldari when the situation demands it.

Awesome.  A genuine hybrid of stereotypes and thus something that approaches a living, breathing, believable character.

Being a tube child (one of the few born under the Quafe Corporation), she has an innate loyalty to the Caldari State, but only to the notion of it being her home and place of birth. She does not exhibit the jingoistic and/or xenophobic loyalty of other State citizens.

Quafe made tube children?  I know they can be a nefarious company under the surface (Quafe Plus, etc.), but imo this doesn't fit their MO.  The tube child programs were patriotic measures intended to increase the State's population and make it stronger by rapidly infusing it with new people.  Many were raised in what we would probably consider brutal emotional conditions and were effectively corporate investments not very different in treatment from livestock.  They were expected to perform and give all for the State.  After all, it was why they were born, and those who couldn't hack it as the ubermensch the megas wanted are probably now scrubbing the scum off the bottom of the State if they're not dead or running with criminals.

Why would Quafe make tube children?  Maybe there's an interesting story to explain why, but I think it would be more dramatically valuable as something that is tucked away rather than broadcast as a defining factor of her life and personality.  People are going to ask you the same question IC: "Quafe made tube children?"  If you can't answer with solid proof, you're playing very heavy handed with PF and common IC knowledge and risk being ignored or breaking immersion for many people.

That question aside, I don't think a sense of belonging, such as you describe her feeling toward the State, is necessarily a consequence of being lab-grown.  Many people, perhaps most, feel sentimental attachment to their childhood home or place of origin, even those who don't come from hypercapitalistic semi-police states.

The idea is to create a "Gallenteanized" Caldari who still considers herself a loyal State citizen.

I don't think those two ideas mesh very well at all.  Loyal State citizens are the militant, jingoistic, and racially-conscious types who support a centralized and powerful Caldari nation.  People who consider themselves citizens of a particular megacorp within the State before they think of themselves as citizens of the State itself may be more inclined to liberalization.  She may be loyal to her culture, her corporation, or to the socioeconomic ideals that prevail in the State (an idealistic version of the 'meritocracy' perhaps), but she isn't loyal to Heth's vision or to the idea of a State-as-Bastion against Gallentean evils.  I say this in a definite sense because this theme of loyalty so strongly contrasts with her FDU service and in-game standings.  She has taken part in operations that the State obviously considers bad, even if she's never shot down a STPRO vessel.  By most Provist and patriotic mega accounts, I think she's likely to be considered gurista if not something much worse.

---

I think the takeaway here comes back around to a question that was asked on Backstage several weeks ago: how much of your character exists without her faction affiliations?  If you focus on characterizing her in and of herself, demonstrate her traits through words and choices rather than describe them, and bring her to life as an individual with every human quality and doubt rather than an impersonal face caught between various great forces and factions, you'll achieve the believability you want.

[Seriphyn]

Cheers Ken,

It does say how the "Deteis utilized tube children", with no real corporate references. She may have just been born as a tube child then transferred to Quafe's authority. Alternatively, she was originally touted to be Ishukone, but then Quafe was granted Ninth Mega status, and bought holdings in Saranen, turning her into a Quafe citizen. This is assuming Quafe ascended to corporate status within the last 25-30 years.

In terms of being "loyal to the State", perhaps it being worded as "loyal to Caldari" instead. This takes away the faction-reliance idea, that she is loyal to her people and/or culture because that's where she came from. I did also debating putting down a point that she was discriminated against by other Caldari citizens because she was Quafe and thus heavily Gallenteanized (in terms of her clothes, her makeup, and so on). She may have also developed an inferiority complex by being constantly victimized, thus wanting to prove herself. Going FDU as a merc, however, would be a demonstration of fickleness, self-conflict and outrightly making a bad decision that wouldn't really manifest itself publically.

She is likely heavily lured to Gallentean culture (which is designed to appeal to everyone) but tries her best to say that she is Caldari.

[Ken]

Going FDU as a merc, however, would be a demonstration of fickleness, self-conflict and outrightly making a bad decision that wouldn't really manifest itself publically.

She is likely heavily lured to Gallentean culture (which is designed to appeal to everyone) but tries her best to say that she is Caldari.

Much good stuff.

[Hamish Grayson]

If i was the suspicious sort I would be wondering if this whole character concept was created to troll me out of FEDRO.   
 
And Ken,

Many were raised in what we would probably consider brutal emotional conditions and were effectively corporate investments not very different in treatment from livestock. 

I am disappointed, you should know better.

[Vieve]

Seri,

I think if you cleared up Kiam's origins some, her core motivations might be a little more clear.  Here are a couple of random suggestions.

- Kiam was created in an Ishukone facility from anonymized sex cell samples that were donated as part of a Deteis racial reconstruction project.  While the samples were screened for genetic defects prior to their combination, they weren't engineered in any way.  She was born the way she is, not designed to be a manual laborer who's got some serious baby-making hips.  She was reared in an Ishukone creche, and at some point was given the option to transfer to Quafe ... or decided to "run away" to Quafe at some point for some reason.

- Kiam's parents were Deteis Quafe employees who couldn't have children conventionally (or wanted to have more children than was physically possible for her mother).   True, she was cooked up in a tube, but she was reared in a regular family, potentially one where she was one among a large number of siblings.

If i was the suspicious sort I would be wondering if this whole character concept was created to troll me out of FEDRO.

 

[Ken]

I am disappointed, you should know better.

A great many were lab-grown children raised in bulk inside corporate creches to meet a demographic political objective in a twisted "Keeping Up with the Joneses" scenario.  The megacorp doesn't love its tube children, whatever the propaganda might say.  Chances are good that is what many people would consider an emotionally brutal upbringing for any child, especially for those who for whatever reason don't live up to expectations.

Here are a couple of random suggestions.

Really outstanding suggestions.  How typical of you. 

[Hamish Grayson]

They invest a crap load of money into growing, raising and training employees only to waste that investment by treating them like crap?  I suggest you re-read the Caldari racial description were it states that the average Caldari citizen has the best standard of living in the four empires.  Then read the Deteis description about them being the leader/executive types in the State.

If anything, the tube born would have a more cushioned life than a traditional child.  Think The Giver or The Island.  They are pumping out salarymen not coalminers.

[Ken]

You're not following what I'm saying about the emotional cruelty.  I'm not suggesting that tube children are actively abused, but rather that they are deprived of a normal family structure and subjected to a culture that demands of them great achievements and tolerates little in the way of failure.  Yes, those who thrive in this system may be physically more comfortable than their peers in other societies, but most tube kids aren't born to parents whose natural instincts will be to love and protect them.  They do not have a father or mother.  They have the corporation, whose instincts are to ensure good returns on the things they have "invest[ed] a crap load of money into growing, raising and training". 

Your example of "The Island" and use of the words "pumping out" goes right to my point.  They may live well-appointed lives, but their lives are not their own.  They are products first and people second.  The specter of failure hangs over their head dreadfully in a way that I might equate the the expectations of achievement placed on a great many young people in Japan or Korea today, for example.  The reality of this feeds the stereotype of the "perfect Asian kid" whose parents tell her, "I don't care if you're 10, you're starting college now!" and of "supermoms" who constantly add layer upon layer of structured activity to their children's lives in the (supposed) hope that they will blossom into prodigies who go on to academic and social success and extremely fruitful adulthoods.  It is that kind of relentless imposition of lifestyle and goals that drives some young people to drugs, crime, or suicide when for whatever reason they fall short of perfection.

And that is how I see the tube child archetype.  It is that trend taken to its most extreme form.

[Hamish Grayson]

That gives me an idea for a new Fedro product marketed to Caldari Crèche:  A therapy AI similar to Sigfrid von Shrink from Gateway, or the Giant’s Drink AI in Ender’s game.

We can maybe combine it with an educational module.

/ADD

[Ken]

 

But seriously.  I did want to work on a therapist drone product line.

[Hamish Grayson]

Oh, I almost forgot shamelessly plug my apparently unsticky worthy character backround guide:  http://backstage.eve-inspiracy.com/index.php?topic=245.0

[Ken]

Yes, and at http://federalrobotics.prophpbb.com/ you may discover someone has already included it in a list of valuable character development and RP links...

[Hamish Grayson]

At Federal Robotics we put shamless plugs within shameless plugs.  o/\o

[Vieve]

Really outstanding suggestions.  How typical of you. 

The dark powers are always happy to help!  Why, darlin', you're gonna make me blush. 

And speaking of shameless plugs, I use Hamish's background guide all the time when I'm throwing together characters.