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Rimpon, an ovoid, golden coloured fruit with a tart taste, was invented by player Matariki Rain, and has since made an appearance in a number of player-created fictions?

Author Topic: [Character] Carmilla D'Morenta  (Read 2702 times)

Carmilla

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[Character] Carmilla D'Morenta
« on: 25 Apr 2010, 10:22 »
Name: Carmilla D'morenta

It's about time this was redone to a more.... up to date version.

Carm






« Last Edit: 06 Aug 2012, 16:41 by Carmilla »
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Ashar Kor-Azor

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Re: [Character] Carmilla D'Morenta
« Reply #1 on: 27 Apr 2010, 13:15 »
Your backstory has a lot of substance that might benefit from a bit pore proofreadin'.

Ish kinda hard to read; there's a lot going on and while the use of spacing is a help, some sentence structure reframing and some work to smooth out the text would help a lot.

Feel free to ignore this, mind - I got the gist of the thing in the end. If you DO have an urge to improve its clarity some, I'll be glad to help you there.
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