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EVE-Online RP Discussion and Resources => EVE Character Development => Topic started by: Carmilla on 25 Apr 2010, 10:22

Title: [Character] Carmilla D'Morenta
Post by: Carmilla on 25 Apr 2010, 10:22

Name: Carmilla D'morenta

It's about time this was redone to a more.... up to date version.

Carm

Title: Re: [Character] Carmilla D'Morenta
Post by: Ashar Kor-Azor on 27 Apr 2010, 13:15

Your backstory has a lot of substance that might benefit from a bit pore proofreadin'.

Ish kinda hard to read; there's a lot going on and while the use of spacing is a help, some sentence structure reframing and some work to smooth out the text would help a lot.

Feel free to ignore this, mind - I got the gist of the thing in the end. If you DO have an urge to improve its clarity some, I'll be glad to help you there.