Right, thought I would write this down here.
Share some of my experience and maybe help others. This will not go into depth, but if anyone would like to talk about more of this, feel free to contact me.
Background
For about a third of my life I had very serious depression. Two times it got to the point where I had to tell people not to leave me alone because I could not trust myself.
At that time I was also playing Eve, a lot. Basically it was pure escapism, something to do so that I did not have to think about real life. When things fell apart in game, I not only almost lost a friendship, but my real life problems could no longer be hidden from. At that point I received help from someone who, for the first time, did not coddle me, but helped me find solutions.
For the past 5 years I have been living without any serious symptoms. The chance of a relapse will always be there, but I had to take responsibility, spot the symptoms and do what needs to be done to avoid it becoming a problem. The key here is that I am living, not suffering from, not being debilitated. I don't even classify myself as depressive anymore, simply because it is not relevant as long as I manage it.
((I used medication for about a year to help keep my serotonin levels stable. The medication did not cure me, it only enabled me to do what needed to be done in order to live happily.))
The big 5
There are five physical things that I do that helps me keep my life balanced. They are well known, but since they seem to work so well, I will share a little of my experiences. I believe that these five things are non-negotiable. They might not be easy, but I believe they really help with living a quality life.
Once things are easier, you can start experimenting a little, see where you can cheat a little, but remember, a cheat should not become a habit.
1. Sleep
We ideally need between 7 and 8 hours sleep each night. My problem was that in order to avoid thinking, I went to bed later and later at night, and slept later and later during the day. When I woke up I felt rough, did not want to get up and had very little energy.
This is all due to how and when the brain produces serotonin, which makes you feel happy. It is basically a drug that gets produced when the sun is up, sleep too long and the production gets repressed. This makes it harder to get up and feel happy... see the cycle?
The sleep cycle is also one of the trickiest to fix, once out of sync. But the effects of a good sleep cycle has a major impact.
What I found that works is the following. Set and alarm, or two or five, out of reach from your bed for 6 or 7 in the morning. Basically, force yourself to get up, even if you only slept 3 hours the previous night. Keep doing this, day after day, and soon you will be so tired by 10 that you fall fast asleep!
Congratulations, you have started resetting your sleep cycle. Now just keep at it, and if you cheat once or twice, don't beat yourself up over it.
2. Eat right
We humans are complex machines and need to be fueled the right way, else we get messed up. Now I can go on forever about diet, so I will try to stick to the relevant things.
I believe my lack of understanding about the effect of your diet had a great impact on my depression escalating. When I was at university, at about 15:00 or 16:00 in the afternoon I would start to feel tired. In order to get more energy, I would drink a big, sweet coffee and eat a very sweet snack we have here in South Africa. Basically dough fried in syrup.
Of course, this gave my a quick blood sugar spike and a massive drop after. By the time I got home I was dead on my feet. I started feeling always tired and never awake and this had a massive impact on my mood.
Low blood sugar can easily be spotted, normally I start to feel tired, then very frustrated. I get warm all over, my vision becomes poor and I generally feel terrible - This is just chemistry and has nothing to do with your mood.
So blood sugar levels, it turns out, if rather a big deal. Instead of eating something sweet, you need to eat protein. And this is a common problem because your body feels like it craves sugar.
So, in order to keep blood sugar stable, you need to eat right.
The ideal is six meals a day. Yes, six. Within an hour of getting up in the morning, you need to eat. This will kick start your metabolism. Then, every three hours after you are supposed to eat again. Portion sizes is normally protein the same amount as your hand palm and starch like your first. Don't forget vegetables with all their good minerals and vitamins.
This seems extreme, so another way to break it up is your normal three meals, plus three "snack" meals. Sneak meals is normally something like a yogurt, or some nuts, maybe some low fat crackers and cheese and bovril (if your country is freaky like that) or peanut butter. Any protein basically. This is a good time to add a banana or apple.
So, yes, protein is important, as I have mentioned. Just as important is eating good starch. Starch basically transforms into sugar in the body, so you want the good kinds. This means cutting down on refined starch and sugars. White bread, large potatoes, any refined sugar (I still like my honey) should all be avoided. Also try and stay away from stimulants, coffee, tea, alcohol. (Not for ever, mind, that would be inhuman - Just until everything is going smoothly)
Boiled baby potatoes, rice, good bread (whole wheat/rye), oats are all much better options.
A nice bonus to keeping your metabolism active is that it can help you lose weight. Since you are constantly burning energy. Skipping meals and then replacing them with one large meal basically tells the body to store all that energy since it believes food is scarce. And storing that energy does not make the next part easier.
3. Exercise
Yup, exercise releases endorphins, the best form of happiness you can get. They are so great, you can get addicted to them. (They are also what gets released during sex, amongst others)
What you do does not really matter, walking, running, swiming, going to the gym. It is all good. If you can manage a 30 - 45 min walk that raises your heart rate and gives you a bit of a sweat, you are doing great. Anything above that is a bonus. Do this at least four times a week and any time you feel down, and you should be right.
(Exercise has become another passion of mine, but now sticking to what is needed for the topic)
4. Work.
Doing something constructive each day makes you value that more, it feels less like a waste. Having a regular job is great for this, plus it helps with your routine. But if that is not the case, start by cleaning your room, washing dishes, fixing the gate. Anything that you can look and and feel proud about. Start small, work your way up.
5. See a person.
We humans are by nature, social creatures. Even introverts benefit from going out and being around other people. It does not have to be long, but going and grabbing a cup of coffee with a friend is a great start.
When I was at my worst, I rarely wanted to leave the house, but each time I did and actually saw my friends, I never wanted the night to end. Turned out they were really a better distraction than my being by myself.
If need be, find someone who shared a hobby or interest, join a group. Meet people at work. What ever works.
I found out the hard way that someone smiling to me in game is not as infectious as something smiling at me in real life. It has been proven that smiling raises our mood, and even just seeing someone smiling can make us feel better.
The Sixth
This does not fall under the normal advice, and is not a physical habit. I think my old Ghost Festival comrades will be all too familiar with this, and many on the forum will hate me for this, but it is basically the philosophy of HTFU.
Because of my personality and genes, I am rather sensitive to perceived loss. Especially in relation to people. Even just the thought of not seeing them again, got me down.
To combat this, and avoid general unconstructive thoughts, I started telling myself to HTFU any time I got sucked in by something unconstructive. I forced myself to look for the positive in things, even small things. A pretty sunset, the smell of steak, anything. By focusing on the negative, or even the fact that I had depression, I only anchored those feelings. That does not mean you can hide it away, you need to confront them and work through them. So I had to teach myself to focus on the positive, because then I started filtering for that.
Now anyone who knows me will be quick to point out that I am not exactly Mr. Happy-go-lucky-optimist, but at the same time there is very little that I allow to upset me. I simply cannot afford to be upset by small things.
In closing
I am not a medical expert, what I have written here was gained through experimentation and experience. As I said, I would be happy to discuss any of this, or just talk in general, should someone want to.
I can also give suggestions for food and meals should someone want them.
If this came across as harsh or arrogant in some instances, that was not my goal. I had to change my thinking on some levels to keep my depressant tendencies under control, and these are some of the side effects of that.
Lots of love,
Jude.
Edit: Some spelling and clarifications.