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[Nmaro Makari]

Hello one and all!

Perhaps you have a clever saying to do with Rifters? Do you know some witty anecdote about exploration?
A hilarious metaphor for RP relationships perhaps?

If its EVE related and funny, post your favourite witty quotations, whimsical stories and delectable anecdotes here for all to enjoy!

Tata!

[Lyn Farel]

You really want me to post every quote from my dreaded quotebook ? 

[ArtOfLight]

"Are we probing the Succubus?"

[Nmaro Makari]

You really want me to post every quote from my dreaded quotebook ? 

Open the floodgates Lyn 

[Lyn Farel]

Don't tell me I warned you...


Kybernetes Moros > I had forgotten how many exploding oil rigs were in the Stingray intro
Kybernetes Moros > it's like Greenpeace went hypermilitant

Esna Pitoojee > what the fuck did Jade do to his forum pic?
Eran Mintor > she did a Britney Spears
Eran Mintor > and had her head shaved
Eran Mintor > one of those things you do when you realize your career is ending

Makkal Hanaya > Back stage is a slang term for anal.


Oh, and the usual bonus Aldrith's quote of the day :

Aldrith Shutaq  /emote is the offstandish type.
 Aldrith Shutaq  No hugs until I've known you for 3 months at least!
 Aldrith Shutaq  I take my relationships slow!
 Rin Kaelestria  Awwwwww. *goes back to her cage*
 Eran Mintor  /emote caresses Aldy's shoulder, "Hey honneh"
 Aldrith Shutaq  You're at the 7 month mark.
 Aldrith Shutaq  /emote slaps Eran's ass.
 Eran Mintor  wohoo!

[Morwen Lagann]

First couple are from rookie corp, years ago.

[17:15:09] Coriander Rinne > So I'm piloting EgRahOl's navy mega to Aunia for him. What should I name it?
[17:15:25] Gehrin Motosua > Throbbing Penis
[17:15:30] Coriander Rinne > done
[17:15:33] Gehrin Motosua > For great justice
[17:15:42] Gehrin Motosua > Make sure he knows it wa sme
[17:16:04] Coriander Rinne > Gehrin's throbbing penis doesn't fit. D:
[17:16:09] Gehrin Motosua > LOL
[17:16:13] Coriander Rinne > ...wow that came out wrong

[03:22:41] Dairuka > I need to date in the crazy stalker circle.
[03:22:54] Dairuka > I mean, I love my girlfriend, but DAMN a crazy stalker chick... hotness
[03:23:59] Coriander Rinne > they're hot until they start cutting themselves on video and sending it to you, saying this is how you make them feel when you ignore them
[03:24:22] Dairuka > *Shrugs* as long as they apply themselves sexually, I probably wouldn't ignore them. <3
[03:24:24] Coriander Rinne > I MEAN UH, so i've heard!

[21:52:11] Kyoko Sakoda > /emote wants to eat a HAM.
[21:52:20] Markuh val'Koresh > a whole ham?
[21:52:28] Kyoko Sakoda > No, a missile.
[21:52:41] Markuh val'Koresh > so you want to suck on a missile
[21:52:42] Reimei Kaminamida > yum
[21:52:49] Markuh val'Koresh > a fast-acting, short-range missile
[21:52:54] Kyoko Sakoda > ...
[21:53:00] Kyoko Sakoda > Yeah, I walked into that one

[08:34:22] Silver Night > Aside from Zeg doing things that make Silver IC eat Tums by the handful, what's goin' on?

[23:55:19] Seriphyn Inhonores > what's 'a roll in the hay'?

[03:33:47] Kasuko Merin > /emote sips tea.
[03:34:18] Kasuko Merin > ./sip
[03:34:26] Kasuko Merin > /emote hopes izzeh doesn't see Dx

[05:30:15] Shae Tiann > Esna needs a playmate.
[05:30:29] Shae Tiann > /emote re-inflates Sophie the sex doll

[18:34:00] Kyllsa Siikanen > If you're that horny, might I suggest your hand, instead of someone else's lover?
[18:35:40] Rek Jaiga > /emote flails his arms again > That'd be complicated!

[19:44:10] Hilen Tukoss > /emote mutters something about not getting him started on the price of clothes.

[Ken]

Desiderya (on combat) > I only engage wrecks.

Desiderya (on operating a starship) > Press all buttons at once and shake the device. Yelling optional.

Jurou Yuan (IRL) > I am going to take a shower then put my penguin suit on

"Are we probing the Succubus?"

Worth noting this was actually spoken over TS.

[DeadRow]

Just a few

Erika Martak > might even muster up some sort of masturbation before i fall asleep if im lucky too \\o//

Stitcher > seriously, if the devs treated the nerfbat like a penis - IE, only getting it out when it's welcome and wanted - I think EVE would be a different place

Kalahari Wayrest > "Once you have a thorax in yer hanger, you wont ever take it out!"

Kostantin Mort > Well we aren't all English on our vent either.
Kostantin Mort > Some people are American, but they manage

[Kala]

Mine are old, cause I am 
*gets all nostalgic*

Presenting the Dominix:

JINX HSC > lol, i never noticed a dominix has little wings
SUNscatcher > it has no wings stop being mean!!!!
JINX HSC > it does
JINX HSC > tiny little ones
SUNscatcher > those are the observation decks
Kalahari Wayrest > dominix looks like a bus
JINX HSC > they wings, at least that's what mine are on this domi, weee, i'm flying
Caroline > domi looks like a floating potato
Kalahari Wayrest > hey thor, you look like the back end of a dominix
ThorTheGreat > thanks kal =(
JINX HSC > looks like a backwards-flying basketball shoe
SUNscatcher > it LOOKS LIKE THE FIST OF GOD !!!!!!! stop makin fun of it

Some Friendly Fire:

GoLeM > whats going on tonight?
Pogy Bait > we killed 1 tempest, 3 caracals and a bb
GoLeM > heard that
Pogy Bait > and
Pogy Bait > 05:59:30 combat Your Wrath Cruise Missile I hits Skull HsC [OMEGA], doing 224.3 splash damage.
Your Wrath Cruise Missile I hits Skull HsC [OMEGA], doing 224.3 splash damage.
Pogy Bait > I fuq'd Skull up with splash ;p
GoLeM > WTG!!! you kill him???
Kalahari Wayrest > rofl
Pogy Bait > nah, he lived
GoLeM > damn
Pogy Bait > he was screaming on TS
GoLeM > lol
Pogy Bait > NO MORE MISSILES! NO MORE MISSILES!
Pogy Bait > And I'm thinking....um ok
Pogy Bait > but I have about 20 more already on the way...
Kalahari Wayrest > LOL!
Skull HsC > LOL i was wondering after they said that... "why is pogy still firing??" LOL
Pogy Bait > I turned them off the moment I heard no more missiles
Pogy Bait > but they have flight time
Pogy Bait > And I launch 5 every 9 seconds ;p

Peanuts:

Kalahari Wayrest > I am getting in range
Kalahari Wayrest > no, no, not 29, 30
Kalahari Wayrest > hum
Kalahari Wayrest > oh, I forgot the targetter thingy
Kalahari Wayrest > hum
Carca > you ok kal?
Kalahari Wayrest > yes, thinking
Kalahari Wayrest > it hurts
Carca > lol
Kalahari Wayrest > ok you can fire back until I start yelling
Carca > time consuming as well
Kalahari Wayrest >
Carca > ok
Kalahari Wayrest > peanuts
Kalahari Wayrest > *sigh*
Kalahari Wayrest > PEANUTS
Carca > that was good
Kalahari Wayrest > dammit work on your peanuts response time
Carca > you had all my shields
Kalahari Wayrest > those weren't just missiles >
Carca > no i didn't know what peanuts meant
Kalahari Wayrest > you never played peanuts?
Carca > i though you meant my damage was peanuts
Carca > no
Kalahari Wayrest > LOL
Kalahari Wayrest > omg
Carca >
Kalahari Wayrest > no wonder you didn't stop, damn
Kalahari Wayrest > peanuts is when you grab the others guys hand and bend it back
Carca > lol
Kalahari Wayrest > when it hurts they say "peanuts" to stop

Very pointless exchange 

Nirvy > M0o and Evola re invading
Nirvy > They are in Osht now
Nirvy > Anyone who can get to Vol-MI now
Carca > I'm going to log to see if these EV will piss off so i can undock
Kalahari Wayrest > repairing
Kalahari Wayrest > ok
Nirvy > ok we have about 11 enemy m0o ppl
Kalahari Wayrest > heading to vol
Nirvy > HLW now :\
Kalahari Wayrest > ...ok
Nirvy > kal
Kalahari Wayrest > yeah?
Nirvy > go back to h-adoc
Kalahari Wayrest > ok
Nirvy > we dont have anywhere near enough

(I hadn't left h-adoc  )

Spies:

EVE System > Channel MOTD: EVE is currently having problems with large chat channels that may be leading to cluster instabilities.  Please minimize the number of chat channels you participate in, especially large ones such as the Help and Trade channel.  This will also minimize the effect node deaths have on your logon session.
Aryadnah > well damn
Skull HsC > 207.44.135.250:8001
Skull HsC > WTF
Skull HsC > who are you?
Carca > thx
Aryadnah > oh, is it wind skull up day?
Skull HsC > would you plz leave
Aryadnah > fine >
Skull HsC > thank you sir
Aryadnah > /emote ignores skull and will leave in a minute
Aryadnah > tanus, carca, kal is damn well stuck in a fucking station and can't get out or log in properly :/
Aryadnah > yell on msn when wanna play ut plzzzzzzz
Skull HsC > are you a friend of kalas?
Tanus DiSerus > it's adri
Carca > lol
Skull HsC > OMFG
Aryadnah > /emote repeatedly hits skull with the stoopid sign
Carca > i love you ary
TIvian > HA HA HA HA HA
Skull HsC > adri you got to tell me these things... FFS i thought you were a spy

(my character is stuck, and I log into protected channel as an alt to tell them...just as skull posts the ts address :p)

...Periods in noob/school corp:

Viney > want to talk about menstrual cycles?
Kyle Jarod > ok i'll shut up lol
darphius handrie > do they have more or less wheels than bicycles
Kyle Jarod > menstrual cycles wtf is that?
Buzzmong > kyle, was that a joke? or dont you actually know?
Kyle Jarod > i don' know lol
Serbski > How old are you, Kyle?
Kyle Jarod > 13
Serbski > Geez
Serbski > I had a well-rounded sexual knowledge by 13
Darrin > what do they teach in schools these days?
Serbski > are you sheltered, son?
Buzzmong > hmm, he should know, obvioulsy leads a sheltered life.
Serbski > Someone explain what menstruation is to him
Buzzmong > kyle, GOOGLE, mentral cycles.
Darrin > image search >
Serbski > Noooo
Kyle Jarod > No i bet its porn
Serbski > that would be bad
Serbski > No
darphius handrie > poor boy
Serbski > Jesus
Serbski > I cannot believe
Serbski > we had sex ed!
Serbski > do you not have sex ed, Kyle?
Kyle Jarod > i want sex too lol
Kyle Jarod > ok i'll shut up
Serbski > No you don't
Serbski > you want abstinance
Kyle Jarod > lol'
Buzzmong > kyle, the question was : "Have you had sex education at school? "
Kyle Jarod > nope
Tempest Rising > lol
Viney > wow.. im sorry I caused this topic =/
Serbski > someone explain menstruation
Serbski > this will be interesting
Kyle Jarod > yea
Viney > /emote sneaks out
Darrin > /emote follows Viney
Magtheridon > girlz bleed out their vaginal opening
Buzzmong > well, nice and blunt there.
Serbski > because an egg goes into the wall of something
Kyle Jarod > EWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEEEWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
Serbski > and when it doesn't get fertilized
Tempest Rising > T m i
Kyle Jarod > O MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Serbski > it goes out
darphius handrie > darphius cant get off floor to sneak out
Darrin > it's the womb lining
Serbski > Oh, don't be a baby
Kyle Jarod > -_- EWWWW!!!!!!!
Buzzmong > womb falls out, so a new one can regrow.
Serbski > right
Darrin > LOL
Kyle Jarod > They bleed out wtf!!!
Buzzmong > *womg lining
Serbski > that's what tampons are for
Buzzmong > *womb lining
Kyle Jarod > O wait
Darrin > lolol
Serbski > what kind of cocoon are you living in Kyle
Kyle Jarod > Is that what tampones is for?
Viney > /emote sighs
Darrin > I'm more worried about you older ones
Serbski > Yes
Serbski > tampons, pads
Kyle Jarod > whats pads do?
Serbski > wonderful inventions to keep clothes clean
Darrin > absorb the blood
Esteron Iwony > omg soon u are going to start some serius sex ed in noob chat
Kyle Jarod > does it hurt?
Darrin > cramps do
Esteron Iwony > this is just wrong guys
Kyle Jarod > -_- yea
Buzzmong > est, SOMEONE has to teach the poor lad.
Kyle Jarod > They bleed ....
Serbski > PMS is what you need to worry about Kyle
darphius handrie > ROLFLMAO
Kyle Jarod > PMS?
Serbski > That's when girls get irrationally bitchy
Kyle Jarod > The bleed ....
Kyle Jarod > they bleed though!!!
Serbski > and you learn to avoid them
Kyle Jarod > I know but they bleed ...
Buzzmong > its pmt, pre-menstral tension....aka, the time of hiding.
Kyle Jarod > is that normal?
Esteron Iwony > well depends on how old the kid is =)
Buzzmong > 100% normal
Serbski > Buzz, in the USA it's PMS
Kyle Jarod > why do they bleed?
Buzzmong > ...
Serbski > Kyle, when a girl matures sexually it happens
Buzzmong > pre-menstral stress?
Serbski > I bet Kyle, and girl friends you might have menstruate
eRabbit > what's difference between pmt and bsc, one's mad cow disease and the other's an agricultural problem
Darrin > mood swings is, some pms is worse than others...like leading to violance ^^ can get pills for that though
Kyle Jarod > I have a girl friend we went to the dance in the barracks last night
Kyle Jarod > It was a ball
Serbski > Exactly Kyle
Serbski > she is probably sexually mature
Kyle Jarod > I kissed her too
Kyle Jarod > Shes 14
Serbski > Kissed her... what a poor lad
Kyle Jarod > lol
darphius handrie > WOW learn someting new everyday
Kyle Jarod > I ACCEDENTLY touched her boob too ...
Darrin > well...thats nice kyle now you can impress her with all the wonderful things you learned in here today ^^
Serbski > Sure sure
Buzzmong > hold up....
Serbski > you don't have to make excuses to us
Buzzmong > ACCIDENTLY?
Serbski > Kyle, if you wish to keep your balls
Kyle Jarod > yea
Serbski > don't mention any of this to any girls
Tempest Rising > I'll bet 5,000isk he's a 30 year old guy...
Darrin > LOL tempest
Serbski > hahaha
Kyle Jarod > 30?
Serbski > that would be great
Tempest Rising > Trailer, alabama, wife beater, beer belly.

Particularly enjoyed "Serbski > because an egg goes into the wall of something" and "Buzzmong > womb falls out, so a new one can regrow."

[Lyn Farel]

SaB0TaG3 > 22:56:52 Notify 720mm Howitzer Artillery II deactivates because its target, Little Asshole, is not locked.
SaB0TaG3 > 22:56:15 Notify The Little Asshole is too far away, you need to be within 54000 meters of it but are actually 64705 meters away.

Esna Pitoojee > As I passed through Pator local:
Arkady Sadik > Doesn't yelling "Amarr Victor" while running from the authorities like a petty thief feel a bit undignified?

Caellach Marellus > Degen is evil because I keep reading his surname as Sangria

Omnicide Incarnate > then eran and aldy use their strong yet supple hands to force the communist shirt onto raphs glistening body... as the last button fastens he is no longer himself


And the Aldrith bonus quote :

Aldrith Shutaq  /emote wishes his pants weren't married sometimes

[Mitara Newelle]

And the Aldrith bonus quote :

Aldrith Shutaq  /emote wishes his pants weren't married sometimes

[Ghost Hunter]

And the Aldrith bonus quote :

Aldrith Shutaq  /emote wishes his pants weren't married sometimes

Nick Parker > I can take 2 Kicks in the Nuts
Nick Parker > Hurts like hell though
Ghost hunter > its when it doesnt you need to worry

[Lyn Farel]

Hitome Kei > running outta rum for the cock is
Hitome Kei > er i mean coke
Hitome Kei > shit

Lyn Farel > and here goes the rook, had some fights, never killed anything, and got killed once
Lyn Farel > not a pretty board of achievments imo
Lyn Farel > go to hell rook
Selkie Lochlan > beautiful eulogy
Selkie Lochlan > Dear Rook, Go to hell you useless cunt

Vincent Pryce > Hey! Nobody fucks my sister but me!

Aelisha > tbh i must say i do not really consider hymen integrity to be vital to my roleplaying experience



And the Aldrith bonus quote :

Aldrith Shutaq > Eran was the best black amarrian I ever knew

[Nmaro Makari]

Two of the most recent in my bio:

N'maro Makari > So, when visiting an Amarrian, no angry snakes or giant roaches?
Morwen Lagann > no walnuts either
Azdan Amith > "When visiting Amarrians, remember that snakes represent deception, roaches corruption, walnuts boldness and scant clothing an invitation."
Azdan Amith > "Either carry all of them or none."

Rin Kaelestria > [EVE Romance] "Hey, you're cute."
"You're cute, too. Let's date."
"How about we get married instead?"

[Lyn Farel]

Morwen Lagann  Don't have any hobbies?
Shalee Lianne  Shooting Minmatar is hobby enough.
Morwen Lagann  That's not a hobby, it's an occupation.
Shalee Lianne  smirks a little, "Is sex counted as a hobby?"
Morwen Lagann  Uh... yeah, I guess?
Shalee Lianne  Well, there you go. I do have a hobby after all.

A few minutes later :

Morwen Lagann  Which do you prefer?
Shalee Lianne  Sex or dancing? Uh...
Shalee Lianne  /emote blushes, "Sex...I guess."
Morwen Lagann  /emote coughs, nearly choking on her sip of cocoa. "I meant what kind of dancing."


Vlad Cetes > /emote emits a high pitched noise along a 5 degree bearing at Maximullis


Verone > i have to backspace and delete "Clit" every time i type "Lit"


[05:01:20] Aldrith Shutaq > i'm coming too!
[05:02:10] Raphael Saint > coming where?
[05:02:29] Shalee Lianne > in my pants