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[Makkal]

For those of you who don't know, Makkal Hanaya was married about a month ago. The character that she married, however, has gone MIA. As in 'only seen them once since it happened.'

This leaves me in an OOC pickle as I don't know how to RP it.

Ideas:
* Make an NPC and have Makkal be married to him. It would be a traditional Khanid arranged marriage.
* Continue RPing as though everything were fine and the other PC was about.
* Continue RPing as though the other character had suddenly departed, leaving Makkal feeling as though she's been used/discarded.

Any other suggestions would be welcome.

[Katrina Oniseki]

Though this advice is too late, I always establish multiple lines of contact if I'm going to perma-tie my character to someone else's. I can find out OOC if they intend to come back or not and negotiate how to work things out. For example, me and Simca are in frequent contact OOCly, so if one of us went MIA for months from EVE, we'd still be able to keep tabs.

As for your situation, I would strongly suggest trying to get in contact with the other person as best you can. If you have no means to do that, then you have your hard choice to make. In the end, it's going to come down to how much you care about that RP.

Continuing on as if the person still plays is the easiest option and probably the safest.

Continuing on as if the other person is MIA in character too, leading to this used/discarded thing - you not only sever the RP but you also risk being accused of godmodding the other character. The person also may not be happy to come back to find you've cut the RP. That said... it does open up new options for 'relationship' RP with more active players.

I'm not sure what you mean by using an NPC.

[Ghost Hunter]

For those of you who don't know, Makkal Hanaya was married about a month ago. The character that she married, however, has gone MIA. As in 'only seen them once since it happened.'

This leaves me in an OOC pickle as I don't know how to RP it.

Ideas:
* Make an NPC and have Makkal be married to him. It would be a traditional Khanid arranged marriage.
* Continue RPing as though everything were fine and the other PC was about.
* Continue RPing as though the other character had suddenly departed, leaving Makkal feeling as though she's been used/discarded.

Any other suggestions would be welcome.

The third idea is generally in line with plausible action/reaction. In particular it's also generally good if you are on good terms with the other player OOCly, and enjoy building story framework together.
The second idea normally requires an agreed handshake before hand, and can lead to uncertain results. Attributing action to someone's character and when they defend themselves, "that didn't happen", is a spiraling pit of doom.
The first idea is good for emergency salvaging if you reasonably believe your RP is in danger of stagnation/abandonment from the other party.

[Makkal]

So.... she got on tonight after being away for weeks.

I guess everything worked itself out.

Sorry for the, ah, bothering the board. 

[Jev North]

No problem. Thread touched on interesting points regarding strongly-tied characters, and might serve as a cautionary tale. It's a good idea to realize that almost no one will be playing the game forever, or play the same character all the time, and agree on things like these beforehand.

[Makkal]

Yes, I've only done PnP previously. If my character became involved with a character, I'd know the player in real life. If they stopped coming to the game, I should just call them up or drive over to their place.

I forget how transient online communication can be. 

[Ghost Hunter]

So.... she got on tonight after being away for weeks.

I guess everything worked itself out.

Sorry for the, ah, bothering the board. 

[Lyn Farel]

Well I would choose option 2 by default but after a few months if the player has not even tried to give news or tell what he/she is doing, well, I generally would tend to go for option 3.

Or I think so, never really had to deal with that before.

[Khloe]

I had a character who married twice. The first ended after the other player quit playing altogether, so said character went under the presumption that she had died somewhere. If they had come back it would have been a pleasant miracle, but their return wouldn't have messed anything up.

[Casiella]

I've been on the other side of this, sort of, and while I'm not proud of it in the least, the other party took option 3 and I believe that was the right choice.

[Matariki Rain]

When I started roleplaying in EVE, mostly by hanging out in LM and striking up conversations with semi-active or returning oldies who didn't realise that LM was then deeply unfashionable, I encountered several abandoned spouses. That shaped Mata's thinking about capsuleer madness and the special problems of capsuleer relationships. Sometimes we head out into space for no apparent reason and don't turn back. It's good to know what you'd do if someone close to you did that. Would you be pragmatic enough to be able to move on? Would waiting for your spouse be an aspect of your character that you'd enjoy playing? How would that affect other interactions you have?

I've seen the drifting and departure of an in-game partner be a contributing factor to the other partner then drifting away: not only as they lost some enjoyable ongoing RP but because they felt uncomfortable with those decisions about what to say when someone asked how their partner was. RL > EVE, of course, but wherever possible I consider it good manners to let people you play with regularly know if you're going to be away and any IC reason they might know of for that so they can keep things ticking over.

Mata's current view is that talking about marriage stress-tests and screws up otherwise-okay relationships, and is one of the signs that things are about to go kablooey. Other people's experiences differ.

[hellgremlin]

Marriage. What a ridiculous proposal.

Now, married women... those I like.

[Reyd Karris]

Always prepare for the worst! If you enter into a long term relationship (fictional or not), always know where things are heading. That includes "Hey, if you happen to be gone for an extended period of time..." discussions.

[Aldrith Shutaq]

Yay married characters, up with this sort of thing. Aldrith and Mitara need more properly married Amarrians to have dinner parties and family gossip sessions with. I think.

But yes, I cannot stress enough the importance of keeping in-touch OOC through an instant messenger program or something similar. Both Mitara and I have quit the game for periods and never once has the question of it affecting the in-character marriage ever come up. When I quit, for example, the IC explanation was that Aldrith had simply retired from capsuleering to stay close to his family. IC this absence actually strengthened the marriage, and Mitara and I spoke at least once a week talking about what each other was up to, and to maintain a friendship beyond our characters. Aldrith's reason for returning to capsuleering also affected Mitara as a character, all of which was discussed prior, making for smooth transitions and ensuring everyone was on the same page. Ald and Mit's 2nd anniversary just passed and even though neither of us were in-game to RP anything for it, we both agreed OOC they did something terribly romantic and it was great!

Now start popping out kids so we can arrange marriages between each other's houses and then get into feudal family political intrigue battles Game of Thrones style.

[Mitara Newelle]

Yay married characters, up with this sort of thing. Aldrith and Mitara need more properly married Amarrians to have dinner parties and family gossip sessions with. I think.

But yes, I cannot stress enough the importance of keeping in-touch OOC through an instant messenger program or something similar. Both Mitara and I have quit the game for periods and never once has the question of it affecting the in-character marriage ever come up. When I quit, for example, the IC explanation was that Aldrith had simply retired from capsuleering to stay close to his family. IC this absence actually strengthened the marriage, and Mitara and I spoke at least once a week talking about what each other was up to, and to maintain a friendship beyond our characters. Aldrith's reason for returning to capsuleering also affected Mitara as a character, all of which was discussed prior, making for smooth transitions and ensuring everyone was on the same page. Ald and Mit's 2nd anniversary just passed and even though neither of us were in-game to RP anything for it, we both agreed OOC they did something terribly romantic and it was great!

This, OOC contact is the only way I can see an in game marriage working, unless the two are married in name only and have no contact with each other outside of the NEOCOM.

Now start popping out kids so we can arrange marriages between each other's houses and then get into feudal family political intrigue battles Game of Thrones style.

Did I mention Mitty was late?   >.>