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Author Topic: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...  (Read 29767 times)

Seriphyn

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #15 on: 20 Apr 2010, 17:55 »

-sniffs-

Mommy...

-goes to rub eyes with soap and water-
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Mizhara

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #16 on: 20 Apr 2010, 17:55 »

Ah, cool. Let me know if you find yourself having questions about deviance that you'd like to get an answer to from the deviant's mouth. No, that's not a horse's mouth pun, since there's quite a few people who think lifestylers lose all sense of decorum.
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Mizhara

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #17 on: 20 Apr 2010, 17:56 »

Also, jesus people. Just ask. No need to subject yourselves to google image searches, hehehe.
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Havohej

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #18 on: 20 Apr 2010, 17:59 »

But what else would we use google for?  :o
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Casiella

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #19 on: 20 Apr 2010, 18:05 »

So, for reference, then, why not just explain what a lifestyler is? :)
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Mizhara

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #20 on: 20 Apr 2010, 18:19 »

There's different definitions, depending on the lifestyler you ask, but let's go with some generalized information:

BDSM: Bondage, Domination, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. There's other things in there too, but those are the basic things. Some of these things fall under sexual fetishes, others under personalities and relationship 'positions'. Sometimes they overlap. Within every single one of these words, there's thousands of things, definitions, terms and so on that could fill a book with information and interpretations, so it's impossible to encompass the complexity and variety within those four letters.

There's as many different levels of dedication to these things as there are people. Some find themselves just looking for a little kink in the bedroom, and finds a little joy in BDSM play, picking out a few kinks and fetishes for use within their sex life. On the other side of the scale, it's gone far beyond just the sex, and has turned into a lifestyle. Dominance and submission in a relationship, 24/7. Or Sadism and Masochism 24/7, not just within the bedroom.

Now, the above is very simplified, and doesn't even remotely encompass the 'true' scale of these things, but a lifestyler is simply one who lives the fetish, or lives the lifestyle. It's a larger part of their life, or the relationship they're in have large elements of either the D/s or S&M elements. Some even go so far as to become so submissive that they spend their entire day as a 'servant' to their Dom/Domme, who in turn spend their day making sure that the sub under their charge is well cared for and taken good care of in all things.

There's even some who go so far as to create legal slave contracts between them. That is taking things too far, in my own opinion, as it's touching on severe immorality and lack of human worth. However, it's still a free choice to begin with, as long as there's also a psyche evaluation prior to the contract signing.

Anyway, a lifestyler is thus someone who lives the BDSM life. Or a related but necessarily BDSM 'kink' becomes a large part of their life, and thus lifestyle.

Now, this'll have to do for now, on the question of lifestylers. But any questions on more specific matters would be more than welcome. It's just a little hard to write answers to such generalized questions which basically says "Tell me EVERYTHING about this.", as the answers will inevitably lack half the information needed to truly understand it.
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Casiella

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #21 on: 20 Apr 2010, 18:22 »

No, that answers the few bits I still didn't know. I've heard "lifestyler" used with adjectives before, rather than as a stand-alone noun, which led to my confusion.

I've always felt, like many other people, that labels only work in a general sense. The variation among individuals who engage in those sorts of lifestyles probably matches that of any other sort of lifestyle you care to mention, including geeks and MMOG roleplayers. ;)
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Havohej

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #22 on: 20 Apr 2010, 18:25 »

BDSM: Bondage, Domination, Submission, Sadism and Masochism.
Don't forget Discipline ;)
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Mizhara

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #23 on: 20 Apr 2010, 18:27 »

Doh. That's what happens when I write out things from memory instead of looking things up. He's of course right. Discipline should be in there somewhere.
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Havohej

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #24 on: 20 Apr 2010, 18:36 »

I think traditionally it's been Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism.  The Domination and Submission naturally fall under that umbrella, of course, and the DS in BDSM are kinda interchangeable in that sense.  Sorry if I seem a little OCD about it, but.. y'know... Discipline is one of the most fun parts imo!  :p

Anyway, carry on!
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Mizhara

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #25 on: 20 Apr 2010, 18:43 »

Actually, your OCD there is appreciated. It's good to have the 'by the book' answers here too, not just the generalized all-encompassing and generalized definitions.
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Zuzanna Alondra

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #26 on: 20 Apr 2010, 19:23 »

*editted out due to being far TMI for my taste*
« Last Edit: 20 Apr 2010, 19:29 by Zuzanna Alondra »
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Mizhara

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #27 on: 20 Apr 2010, 19:27 »

It's official! Du'uma Fiisi is the kinkster corporation of Eve. Come one, come all. Your fetishes won't make you remarkable in the corp or in the vent, hehehe.
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Havohej

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #28 on: 20 Apr 2010, 19:28 »

Oh my innocence backbone! /o\
It's funny, Zuzu's said similar things pretty often on vent :p

Geez... I don't know what's worse, being mentioned here or the embarrassing conversations that goes along with that.

See, I had no idea what these things were... and then realized I was doing some of them.
I played characters at larps (live action role playing games) that were very different then me - and would some times do what is refereed to as weekly - roleplaying the characters outside the time frame and place allotted for the game.

So as far as the current conversation about BDSM - once it was explained I realized that once in awhile in the bedroom I took it upon myself to play certain charters to scenes in the bedroom.  My favorites were Diane and Marice - Diane was a Thoradore vampire who kept a very firm leash on her ghoul - which was played by my partner of course - and enjoyed dressing up - I loved the lingerie...

Marice is my paladin - prot pally - with a touch of a temper and extremely strong.  Her partner was a not so strong mage - and even though the player could of easily pinned me down - he would let me pretend he was rather weak.

But I also enjoy Su- completely blood bonded to her master she due to the natural powers at be with vampires (We alternated weekends for Diane/Su) she could not tell him no in anything.

TMI *hides* - expect this post to be edited away when I'm less brave - but long story short - if I had to choose I'd say more dom then sub, but it's an in bed treat thing, not a lifestyle.

Miz - this is the kind of conversations for why I hide in the quiet room so much - see why I keep my mouth shut?
Interesting response; didn't think you'd post on this one.

Du'uma Fiisi is recruiting.   8)
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Zuzanna Alondra

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Re: Lifestylers, fetishists, Alts, kinksters and pervs...
« Reply #29 on: 20 Apr 2010, 19:30 »

Damn it Havo!  Quit using me as recruitment material.
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