Miz, I recognize the fact that you and I disagree on Vik's post (and probably some others, no doubt). And I absolutely respect your opinion and greatly appreciate the manner in which you chose to express it here in this thread. You provide a great example of how members of the board can hold different opinions of an issue and perhaps even each other without devolving into rude flaming and worse.
I will note, however, that my response in question
did note the specific guidelines that were either crossed or, in my view, came very close to being crossed. In general, when we post a mod comment in a thread (versus our own normal, personal posts), it's not because somebody has clearly broken the rules. I didn't believe Vik had done so in this case; had that happened, we PM the user in question and note a formal warning, then track appropriately. In this case, my post was specifically intended simply to keep things cool before they exploded.
Obviously,
I failed in that regard. I accept responsibility for not making things clearer, and I strongly regret that Vik - a former CEO, longtime friend, and someone for whom one of my most-used ships is named - felt so hurt by my actions that he felt the need to delete his account during the night while I was asleep.He did not send me a message or even give me a chance to respond due to the rapidity and specific timing of his actions.
Perhaps we could have found a way to make things right and reach a better understanding, but we can't know that now. So I do
not accept responsibility for his decision, nor do I believe he would expect me to do so. He's a big boy, after all.
Miz makes a larger point, though, and an important one: whether or not an individual receives a formal warning (a possible precursor to a suspension or ban), members certainly may perceive a moderator's comment as an informal warning. That's not incorrect, of course, and obviously when we post like that we
want to affect the shape and tone of the discussion. As the FAQ observes, this is subjective and fluid. I try my hardest to be as fair and objective as I can, but I'm only human. Actually, if anything, the fact that I've always liked Vikarion probably meant that I took it easier in this case than some other moderator might have (as Silver notes above). So perhaps the real mistake was that I took the "easy route" rather than issue a formal warning in private.
In any case, my goal and that of the rest of the staff isn't to keep people from saying what they think, Lord knows. I'm not so foolish as to think that's even possible, nor am I quite so arrogant as to believe that only opinions that match mine should matter. It's simply to provide a place where the demeanor and character of the discussions can adhere to a particular tone.
Vik isn't the first person to choose to leave Backstage, and it's unlikely he'll be the last. As disappointed as I am in that, I'd rather have someone choose to leave if they feel the tone encouraged here doesn't fit them. Ideally, they'd not do so, but if we come down to Hobson's choice, then I suppose that's just how things will be, unfortunately.
