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Author Topic: EVE Online: Seriphyn  (Read 3617 times)

Seriphyn

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EVE Online: Seriphyn
« on: 15 Jun 2010, 17:15 »

I got bored, and Nikita poked me to hurry up and post this...might add more stuff later...but here you go. EVE, my way

Patch notes for EVE Online: Seriphyn, released Wednesday 16 June 2010.

FEATURES

The Carebear Genocide

- EVE is a spaceship game. As apart of our drive to see this realization come true, industry and the market have been removed from the game altogether. You will now receive a weekly salary that can be spent on seeded items at their base value. This salary will increase depending on not only the amount of ships you kill, but how you kill them. Killing opponents in a Curse or blob receives few points. Killing them in a Gallente ship solo sees a much higher boost. Killing them in a Caldari ship will receive next to nothing.

- NPC agents will now give out missions to kill other players exclusively, based on their faction standings to the respective agent.

New Planetary Interaction

- The current incarnation of PI has been removed and replaced with a system that falls in line with fiction. Considering how capsuleers are touted as sociopathic mass murderers, players will now be able to engage in combat on planets, instead of contradicting fiction and having them build happy little colonies that doesn't have them killing millions in the destruction of one frigate.

CHANGES

NPC sovereignty

- In order to stem the fact that the majority of EVE players can be found in Caldari space, Caldari State will be removed as a faction and all respective space will be turned into Gallente Federation sovereignty

- Reflecting fiction changes, regarding the unrealism of having “tribes-in-space” or “Astro-Africans”, all Minmatar sovereignty will become Gallente Federation

NPC corporations

- The following NPC corps have been removed; Caldari Navy, Chief Executive Panel, State Protectorate, State War Academy, Ishukone Watch, Corporate Police Force, Internal Security, Spacelane Patrol, Peace and Order Unit, Home Guard, Lai Dai Protection Service, Wiyrkomi Peace Corps, Republic Fleet, Republic Military School, Republic Parliament, Republic Justice Department, Republic Security Services

- Upon quitting player corporations, it is now possible to join any NPC corporation of the player's choosing. This is mostly in response to subscriber complaints regarding the default NPC corporation for the Jin-Mei bloodline, stereotyping that all Chinese people are investment bankers. We apologize for any offence.

- The CEO of President corporation has been changed to Seriphyn Inhonores


EVE Gate


- EVE Gate has been removed due to overwhelming subscriber feedback regarding how they “want to leave EVE installed at the computer they're not currently on”

Ships

- The Scorpion model has been reverted to its previous incarnation. Minmatar and Amarr vessels with the exception of Caldari have been redesigned in accordance with the new PGS texture models. Gallente ships have been redesigned using the new PGS+ texture palette.

FIXES

Character creation

- It will no longer be possible to create a Gallente Gallente female with a grotesquely angry expression with cleavage displayed

- Male Gallente Gallente portrait creation have replaced male True Amarr, Khanid, Ni-Kunni and Jin-Mei portraits. Male Achuran remains unchanged

- It is now only possible to play a Khanid female if the subscriber's gender is actually female according to their subscription details

- Mannar is now a playable bloodline. There are no plans to introduce Nefantar, Starkmanir, Ealurian, Udorian or any other minor bloodline at this time

Ships

- There was overwhelming feedback that player-versus-player combat was “too easy”, and thus, Caldari ships can no longer be flown into systems of 0.4 security level and below

- Gallente ships now have their speed in line with their damage, along with their hitpoints reduced, in order to correspond to the extreme manliness of flying Gallente ships in player-versus-player combat

- Deimos, however, has an additional low slot and increased armour hitpoints. The Ishtar we still have no fucking clue what to do with


CHANGES

Factional warfare

- It is no longer possible to contest and fight for occupancy of Gallente systems. Black Rise FW systems are unchanged

- But then we realized Caldari State was removed from the game anyway, so these change no longer apply.

- Because pirates just can't seem to understand you can't take a battlecruiser or HAC into a minor FW site, they are no longer permitted to warp to plexes that cannot accept their shiptype.


Alliance and sovereignty


- All sovereignty-controlling alliances must have non-immersion-breaking names in accordance with our Alliance Naming Guide, wrriten by CCP Seriphyn

- Sovereignty control mechanics will now be dictated by deadspace complexes similar to that seen in factional warfare. This is to prove that FW is indeed a great medium for PvP combat that doesn't involve blobs, bubbles and T2 “solopwnmobiles”

- The whole point of sovereignty in nullsec is to create a player-run empire faction in the exact same fashion as NPC empires. Therefore, NRDS will be strictly enforced in all nullsec alliances, with NBSI policies resulting in immediate dissolution of those alliances.

EXPLOITS

Ships

Drakes have been removed from the game

Modules

All ECM modules have been removed from the game
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Saede Riordan

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #1 on: 15 Jun 2010, 17:27 »

I loled.
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A ship in harbour is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.

Vincent Pryce

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #2 on: 15 Jun 2010, 18:59 »

lawls
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Koronakesh

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #3 on: 15 Jun 2010, 19:41 »

Had a good laugh at this. +1 to you.
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Casiella

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #4 on: 15 Jun 2010, 20:41 »

"- Gallente ships now have their speed in line with their damage, along with their hitpoints reduced, in order to correspond to the extreme manliness of flying Gallente ships in player-versus-player combat"

Awesome. XD
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Havohej

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #5 on: 15 Jun 2010, 20:53 »

EXPLOITS

Ships

Drakes have been removed from the game

Modules

All ECM modules have been removed from the game
This is a perfect spot for one of those "u mad?" pictures.  In fact,



Seriously, though, funny post.  Would read again.
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Shal Firestorm

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #6 on: 15 Jun 2010, 21:22 »

Laughed pretty hard all through this, well played.
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Mathra Hiede

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #7 on: 16 Jun 2010, 04:48 »

rofl - I like this post :P
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Kaldor Mintat

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #8 on: 16 Jun 2010, 04:57 »

Good stuff  :D
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Milo Caman

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #9 on: 16 Jun 2010, 05:01 »

So many kinds of win.  :D
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Laurentis Thiesant

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #10 on: 16 Jun 2010, 07:34 »

That's ma Seriphyn!

*proud face*
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Graelyn

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #11 on: 16 Jun 2010, 08:06 »

We Amarr come out pretty good in this version of EVE.
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Zuzanna Alondra

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #12 on: 16 Jun 2010, 09:51 »

Quote
- NPC agents will now give out missions to kill other players exclusively, based on their faction standings to the respective agent.

That one would actually be kick ass fun.  No more slow boating in a drone hull, grab the corpies and choose a matari agent to say, "XYZ slaver is being a jerk - get em!"  I love it.

The rest is amusing.  And the kills in gallente hulls works in my favor- so woot!
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DeadRow

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #13 on: 17 Jun 2010, 03:06 »

 :lol: :lol:

We Amarr come out pretty good in this version of EVE.

I think they'd raep even more ^_^
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orange

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Re: EVE Online: Seriphyn
« Reply #14 on: 17 Jun 2010, 06:57 »

I guess the Gallente become the new PvE kings since they do not have a direct enemy in this "arrangement".

sarcasm/

Hurrah for Amarr vs Minmatar Online, hurrah for Minmatar vs Amarr Online

/sarcasm
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