Backstage - OOC Forums

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

The True Slaves are loyal, implant controlled slave troops of Sansha Kuvakei? Moar here.

Author Topic: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari  (Read 3268 times)

Seriphyn

  • Demigod
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2118
  • New and improved, and only in FFXIV
Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« on: 17 Jan 2011, 08:12 »

A piece of flash fiction I wrote, exploring how a Caldari family carry themselves in public as they decide to go shopping. I intend to write pieces for the Minmatar, Gallente and Amarr, in a way to contrast and explore how a ritual that we take for granted in the West would differ between the various cultures of New Eden

====================================================================

The Caldari always preferred practicalities over prettiness, and the same can be applied to this particular station concourse, where it had been thoroughly renovated to replace the naturalist buildings with habitation modules to maximize space, therefore maximizing the greatest amount of potential businesses and in turn maximizing the greatest amount of profit, as clichéd as it was. The removal of all naturalist elements was just one item on Heth’s long agenda of “de-Gallenteanization”, and that it was unbecoming of the Caldari to have their station designs mocked by trying to mimic the styles of their arch enemies.

This Deteis family, who had decided to use their allocated vacation day for shopping together, did not seem to care either way. They would not admit that they preferred the fact that the bright and vivid colours of various advertisements were now softer shades of blue and green, which was far easier on the eyes. Now, they did not have to squint their eyes to make out an advertisement for a new hover car behind curtain after curtain of red and pink holosigns displaying the latest in workwear (despite the fact the actual workwear was a dull grey, just like everything else).

The children, three of them in total, walked in front of the two parents, talking amongst themselves while the mother and father surveyed their environ quietly for anything of note. They were dressed appropriately and practically, in matching dark colours to identify them as a family collective, with trimmings of purple to distinguish themselves from other passing units. A foreigner, particularly a Gallente one, would be absolutely hopeless in separating one family from another, as it was all about the subtleties, a specialty of the Caldari. Why, yes, the presence of a triangle on that jacket and a sphere on those set of trousers does indeed allow you to identify an Oto from a Kalivaan, amongst many other things. What, having trouble because it’s not there to greet you loudly in the face, requiring some actual thought to, you know, study someone fully for once?

This apparent lack of individualism (to the Gallente) and anaemia of creativity (to the Minmatar) was perfectly acceptable amongst this society, which put little to no stock in fashion or appearance beyond carrying yourself as a proud and dignified State citizen, at least amongst the lower workers. Caillean students would desperately try and insist that every single human has some desire to “be different”, but the Hyasyoda exchange lawyer would just dismiss her as having “blurred priorities”. The children were the last bastion that wouldn’t mind shiny toys and trinkets, they thought, but they honestly didn’t seem to care either. It was this difference, at such a basic level, which meant the Federation and Caldari will simply never get on.

The father stopped outside the front display of a store selling top-of-the-line holovision sets, with his wife noting his shifted attention almost immediately.

“Children, wait a moment” she gently ordered, her voice commanding maternal authority.

The eldest of the lot glanced to his mother, and nodded silently. He ushered his siblings to step aside on the sidewalk, out of the way of the front entrance and thoroughfare, but close enough to their parents to keep the collective unit sustained.

“What do you think?” inquired the husband, a thoughtful purse of his lips as he passively watched the looped MindClash match.

“What’s the resolution?” replied the wife, the light of the holovision reflecting off her firmly structured features.

“Good enough, I’m not sure it matters. I’m just wondering if it won’t be outclassed or become dated anytime soon”

She allowed herself a pause, “It will certainly fit in the living room, it’ll nestle perfectly where our current set is. That’s quite a lot of scrip, who is it made by?”

“A Federation brand” he allowed himself a quiet sigh, indicating their joint reluctance, “I just think the colours are too intense”

“That’s the last thing you want to worry about if it’s Gallentean, and if you are concerned with whether or not a new model will be released within…Maker, knowing them, probably next week”

His frown deepened, “That’s the problem. Investing in it will not dent our finances at all, and we’re unlikely to be upgraded by the Corporation anytime soon at our current work level. It would be a wise purchase for the residence for this reason”

The children were watching another screen, a program targeted at them, reminding the youth the importance of what it means to be Caldari through the antics of a sports team. They exchanged comments and thoughts amongst themselves; not particularly loud, but not exactly a whisper to infer subjugation.

“Our current set is out-of-date, yes” she conferred with her husband, “If it lasts more than a year, than is probably a sound choice, no?”

“We shall wait, to see if the prices change along with our financial situation”

The Deteis woman nodded sharply, and turned away from the front store window.

“We’ve finished looking, children, let’s go” she said in the same as before.

The children started to move again, but not without forcing themselves to look away from the holoscreen reluctantly. They disliked having to break free so soon after being captivated, but they were not about to question their parents. Private feelings expressed outwardly were unwelcome.

The family passed several Gallentean clothing stores aimed at children. It was a wonder how they even continued to do business here. Despite the youthful colours designed to entice their target audience, the young eyes of these particular children just seemed to look right through the shallow attempts of enticement. Instead, they would rely on the fashion guidance (if one could call it that) of their parents, and they would not question what they were provided. While a Gallentean preteen might twitch at this thought, the mothers and fathers of the State would always provide their children with the best wear, the definition of ‘best’ being completely opposite, of course.

“Food?” the woman inquired with a sideglance to her husband.

“Yes, I imagine you were referring to that stall over there?” he nodded to a QuafeSnacks stall, which had stylized its logo into the Caldari language and aesthetic.

“Quite. Children, that way, please”

The vector of the family changed, carefully making sure they would not interrupt the pedestrian thoroughfare as they crossed the concourse to the stall, where an overweight Achuran man of middle age greeted them with something that almost resembled a grunt. They ordered five boxes of lunch, their contents inconsequential, the mother handing out one box carefully to each of the children, who patiently waited to receive their meal.

The youngest attempted to fall to straight away, before she was chided by her father. She flashed a sheepish look up to him, and closed her box, allowing the mother to indicate an adequate place to sit. Once they were all seated, they opened their boxes of hot food and began eating without saying a word. It would have been complete silence, if it was not for their excessively loud chewing and devouring, the father hunched over his box with a pair of kuashi and his partner looking equally undignified. There were the quiet requests for napkins and sauce sachets, but that was the only breaking of the verbal amnesty. Once they had individually finished, they each took their own box to the trash unit, and then resumed their seat to wait for the others to catch up.

The youngest girl swayed her feet underneath the table, watching the Achuran man that had served them. She might have hummed if she wasn’t Caldari, just studying and regarding the obese mass of a man in silence. Thinking to herself, she wondered how he got so fat, and how he would look with no clothes on. She didn’t dare to outwardly speak her thoughts, which were broken once her brother ushered her to stop swaying her feet.

They finished their meal, and the father inquired each of his children whether they required anything. One by one, they replied in the negative, with the parents deciding if they had any further need to remain here, as their to-do list had already been fulfilled. They opted it was time to go home, despite leaving over half this commercial area unexplored. Necessities, necessities.
Logged

Lizard14

  • Clonejack
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #1 on: 18 Oct 2012, 17:19 »

Are you going to do the other empires if so when?
Logged

orange

  • Dex 1.0
  • Veteran
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1930
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #2 on: 18 Oct 2012, 20:50 »

Are you going to do the other empires if so when?

A piece of flash fiction I wrote, exploring how a Caldari family carry themselves in public as they decide to go shopping. I intend to write pieces for the Minmatar, Gallente and Amarr, in a way to contrast and explore how a ritual that we take for granted in the West would differ between the various cultures of New Eden

Edit: (After reading the story.)

I like the concept you are presenting, but I think for the Caldari you may have focused too much on the Caldari vs Gallente and not sufficiently on the Corporate vs Corporate.

I think the theme in the beginning of "de-Gallenteanization" of the concourse was a good way to approach that topic and the occasional hint at increased uniformity vs the others.

I think you could add some of the Corporate vs Corporate contrast by changing the discussion of the holo-projector to be a discussion regarding a superior quality and hugely costly TopDown or Ishukone product vs the cheaper, less quality NoH product versus their provided SuVee product.  A RL example might be buying Samsung TV (made in Mexico) vs buying Dynex TV (made in China).  You could also highlight the idea of the family waiting until their corporate script is worth more versus Lai Dai or Ishukone to make the purchase less of a burden.

Circling back to the "QuafeSnacks" and Gallente Children's clothing is a good way to show that despite the "de-Galling" of concourse, there is still the presence of Gallente corporations and fashion.

The use of the word "undignified" in regards to their eating habits indicates a cultural perspective, versus describing the event.  I would recommend, both with this story and the others you intend to write, to either describe who the story teller is (a Caillean researcher perhaps) or making them more objective (describe what they are doing, but leave judgement of those actions out).
« Last Edit: 18 Oct 2012, 21:15 by orange »
Logged

Seriphyn

  • Demigod
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2118
  • New and improved, and only in FFXIV
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #3 on: 19 Oct 2012, 06:01 »

I forgot about this >_>

Thanks for the feedback. Naturally this was almost two years ago, and as a result my perspectives have changed somewhat of the Caldari and other factions, as well as my writing style. So that includes the use of the subjective term 'undignified' and various other word choices  :)

There was a little too much focus on the 'de-Gallenteanization', as sometimes regarding Caldari PF it seems so much of being Caldari is defined as "not being Gallente". It might be true in some parts, but having a Corporate vs Corporate flair could equally be Caldari, if not more. The closing off of Gallente influences to be replaced by inter-corporate warfare is certainly a way to Caldari worldbuild without contrasting it to the Gallente all the time (though I would say both the Gallente and Caldari occupy the same 'civilization bloc' compared to the more relatively anachronistic Amarr for example, with the Minmatar being a midway point between anachronistic tribalism and Gallente/Caldari modernism)

There was a handful of folk who felt that the portrayal of the family/children was 'robotic', to which I'd have to disagree. I mostly got the inspiration of the formal behaviour of the children and parents from my time in an Indian village of 3 months. In Eastern/Asian cultures in particular, the luvvy-duvviness shared between parents and their children is not really existent; it's mostly a Western thing (even saying 'I love you' to someone from these cultures is perceived as an American/Hollywoodism). That's not to say these parents don't love their children. It manifests itself in a sense of familial duty that comes across through actions (I will provide for my family) over words (Oh I love you so much sweetiepie!). Of course, I have noticed that the behaviour of children is a human universal. What is NOT a human universal that comes with children is how much they are taught restraint and/or formality in public by their parents or teachers.

I'll see if I get the inspiration for the other three factions, but admittedly by opinions of them are far less arbitrary nowadays (I might be lying about that, heh)
Logged

orange

  • Dex 1.0
  • Veteran
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1930
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #4 on: 19 Oct 2012, 07:32 »

I guess that means some folks could pick this up and do their own "Methods of Window Shopping"?

Which is a great title by the way.
Logged

Desiderya

  • Guest
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #5 on: 19 Oct 2012, 07:37 »

To expand Seri's thoughts:

I'd simply say that there's a difference between being in public, where you'd be expected to be civil, guarded and unobstrusive, and in private when talking about the Caldari.
You could also extrapolate that and make a differentiation between being in public meaning on the street, and being in a place where it is appropriate, such as a stadium, gambling den, entertainment venue or even district. Speaking of the district I could imagine that it is divided, such as red light districts usually are - Hamburg has its most famous red light area in the form of a gated street. So while it *is* public (At least for men of age 18+) you can more or less walk past it without being exposed to the situation.

Logged

Jev North

  • Guest
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #6 on: 19 Oct 2012, 07:44 »

I liked the noisy-eating detail. Japanese cultural heritage?
Logged

hellgremlin

  • Pathological liar, do not believe
  • Pod Captain
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 757
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #7 on: 20 Oct 2012, 09:14 »

Critique: this sounds like something a Gallente author wrote, specifically to emphasize how the Caldari are totally boring robot drones. Like a politically charged hit-piece. It doesn't feel like an actual description of a Caldari family. Robotic coldness, children that are unaffected by flashy entertainment because they're so repressed and rigidly indoctrinated into Caldari gray-cubism-everywhere, a girl that won't hum a song because it's un-Caldari to hum? Yeah, this isn't a family, it's one of those Chuck-E-Cheese animatronic robot shows. You can almost make out the characters mentally calculating the most efficient path from TV store to food stall using complex algorithms for maximum efficiency. People aren't this robotic.
« Last Edit: 20 Oct 2012, 09:17 by hellgremlin »
Logged

Graelyn

  • Ye Olde One
  • Veteran
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1349
  • These things just seem to happen...
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #8 on: 21 Oct 2012, 04:33 »

Istvaan is saying what I was thinking...
Logged


If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!

Seriphyn

  • Demigod
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2118
  • New and improved, and only in FFXIV
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #9 on: 21 Oct 2012, 07:36 »

I suppose you could say it is meant to be somewhat caricature (trying to condense the family habits of a society of billions to just one group), but if you want real caricature, CCP has already done it.

I would again stress the fact this is heavily influenced by my experience of interacting with people of different cultures. An example was staying at a hostel in New Delhi, India. We had a wheelchair-user on our team, and given the fact disabled people aren't really uplifted like they are in the West, it lacked easy access. It was impossible for him to access the small bathroom since his wheelchair wouldn't fit through the doorway. So we asked the staff to help us out, and they really went beyond the call of duty without a single sound from them. Ultimately, they decided to just break the door off the damn hinges to get him in, and again they didn't say anything. You could say their behaviour was 'robotic' as well. Even talking to educated Indians can be seen as a robotic affair, if I didn't know any better. The level of formality is so disconcerting that one can find it insincere and forced; in reality, it's just the way that culture teaches people to interact with strangers/acquaintances.

Another example is visiting a Chinese restaurant (actual Chinese for Chinese people) in the middle of London. One gets hurried in to sit down as quickly as possible and order immediately. You ask what is recommended and the server just says "No recommend, just order". Rude? Maybe to a self-entitled Westerner, but the idea is to just process as many people as possible via the most efficient means. Go in, sit, order, eat, leave. Efficiency over individual comfort. We won't see this executed in any player fiction because you'll get the whole 'robotic' assessments thrown around. Yet another example is West African individuals, who we might call loud, arrogant and rude. Again, their perspective is just that they don't take shit from nobody, and generally such language is intended to be spoken at a loud volume (many continental Europeans think the British talk disconcertingly slow and quiet, as another example).

It was my biggest issue with Templar One. Everyone talked like they were straight out of Hollywood. I mean, that's just a personal thing; the majority of people here likely do not have direct experience in interacting with other cultures extensively, and even more won't care about potentially mundane details like that in a book. The trouble as Westerners is that we see our society and habits as the model for all others. If it's different, it's wrong, or alien, or whatever. If you compare what I've wrote to 'For the State', it's not far apart (in fact that was inspiration). I would point out that just because they do not sound agreeable to our ears does not mean they are 'robotic' or 'inhuman'. Granted, even if we Westerners see the world as having to act towards our standard, so do the Chinese, who also adopt a 'it's different therefore wrong' mentality.

In the end, it also depends on what 'voice' you read it with. If it was spoken in actual Caldari rather than being 'translated' to English, it might not sound 'robotic' at all. Overall, I would retroactively label it as a caricature.
Logged

Graelyn

  • Ye Olde One
  • Veteran
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1349
  • These things just seem to happen...
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #10 on: 21 Oct 2012, 08:38 »

Both of the scenarios you just described are believable.

I wish your story were more like that.
Logged


If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!

Arnulf Ogunkoya

  • Moral Compass (apparently)
  • Pod Captain
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 650
    • Livejournal profile
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #11 on: 21 Oct 2012, 11:47 »

This chinese place you speak of Seriphyn. That wouldn't be the Wong Kei on Wardour Street would it?
Logged
Kind Regards,
Arnulf Ogunkoya.

Silver Night

  • Admin
  • Demigod
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2250
  • Elitist Oldtimer
Re: Methods of Window Shopping - the Caldari
« Reply #12 on: 21 Oct 2012, 13:22 »

I've been to restaurants in China, and they were friendly and helpful - more so than many restaurants I've been to in the US. This is outside tourist areas, mind you. I think maybe you just went to a Chinese restaurant where the people were rude.

I would tend to agree with Istvaan, that this sounds like political caricature. You are certainly right that different cultures are different, but that doesn't mean that they are different in the specific way that you are portraying them - and I think that a culture developing the way you are suggesting is unlikely (particularly if you are, as I think you said) generalizing. Remember, there is an entire Caldari megacorp- NOH - whose core business is entertainment. I also think you would find few cultures where fashion, at least of some kind, isn't a consideration. Finally, it's long established that the Caldari enjoy sports and gambling (and not just, I think, for the Be Caldari! message that sports might convey - as suggested in your piece).

Also, what corporation are they from? There are big differences between them.