"It all started some time ago, when I was nearing the end of my null security career so to speak. I was tired of choosing sides, of being dragged along for ideals I didn't believe in. In some ways I felt a prisoner in the very life I had come to cherish."
I sat there on the bench, overlooking a view into the cosmos. I stared into it far and wide, trying to look as deeply as I could before the usual cargo ship would past by after leaving the station's docks. The station's lights were dimmed, giving the impression of night, giving a solitary feel along some sections, something rather rare these days I figured. After a long day of what I could only describe as work, I somehow found myself there. Talking to myself.
I'd almost swear I'm crazy by now"At first I believe, it was to be free. To roam the space lanes with no worries about who is at war with me or being back to our base in time for fleets. No pestering on the neocom with senseless jabber that gave me a headache just by it being there..."
I sat up a little after realizing I had been slouching a bit, leaning forward and supporting my body by putting my elbows on my knees. Giving a heavy sigh I looked down, the somewhat dusty floor looking undisturbed and peaceful. I blew towards the ground a bit, clearing a light layer of dirt away, more so for my own amusement than anything.
"It stood for neutrality, for a kind of freedom that seemed to be missing elsewhere in New Eden. I thought I was going to help change life for so many others for the better. I wanted for it to be a beacon of hope and life in dark, conflicted areas of space."
I looked up sharply at a sudden sound only to find a rather old man peering at me from the other side of the bench. He was dirty, a light stench filled the air. He sat down opposite me on the bench, his ragged robes seeming quite cold.
"Who are you good Sir?" I could only ask
"I was passing by and thought I heard a voice from over here...mind if I listen?" he replied with a somewhat harsh dry voice.
I could only give a slight chuckle as I looked from the man to the Providence class freighter moving past the window now.
"As much as it was for me, I wanted it to be for everyone. There was hope that it could become successful through hard work, friendship, trust, you know, the usual things people think of when they go into something like this. I firmly believed it could work, however now..."
I could only smile and look back at that dusty old floor
"Now it's teetering on the very things I never wanted to see it become. Distrust, attracting enemies on a constant basis. Even coming to a point where choosing a side is what her people want. I see her broken, shattered, like a mirror carelessly thrown behind one's back."
I felt a hand on my back, a couple of soft pats as I looked up. He smiled kindly before pointing out to the window. No, not at the window, but into that world out there.
"My friend, out there, anything is possible at any second. From riches to poverty to riches again in moments. Battles being raged in far corners of space, while closer to home here, Industry drives our economies, asteroid mining, gas harvesting from planets. For us, just being out there as free as you are, is enough. To be able to spread out arms and know, that no matter what CONCORD may say about a particular system and who it belongs to, or what empire you have allegiances to, that the whole world out there, that it's yours..."
As I turned my attention from gazing into space back to the man, there was a tear in his eye, and only then did I realize he was not just a homeless old man, but he was like me...a Capsuleer. Not one who found riches through isk or items, or probably had great renown across the universe, or even had a place to call home, but one who easily felt rich, one who felt welcome at home no matter where he was, simply because he was free.
I could only smile as I returned his kind gesture earlier with a couple of pats upon his back
"One day, our bones will belong to that world, and we'll become part of it, and in our hearts, there's no other place we would rather be." he said as I got up.
As a Merlin class frigate zoomed past the window, the man walked up to the window and stared in fascination. A yearning still in him to explore and see all he had not yet done in his life.
I don't exactly know why, but I left my over coat on the bench for him as I walked off, only saying the traditional 'Fly Safe' to the old man. I know he was much too old, but in his eyes, I could see it, somewhere, out there, he was still flying around.
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There's a point where, the direction of a group of people, at least your planned direction, and the people's general direction will not match up. While your own plans and ideals, you will feel these to be most important, it is important to consider the thoughts of those who you are leading. However, when specific situations arise, there are times even a compromise seems to favor one side over the other.
One day, I know it'll all be worked out, it is but the light at the end of the tunnel, one that you have yet to dig for yourself.
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Topic: Matters of Choice (Read 729 times)