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[Elsebeth Rhiannon]

Referring to: http://backstage.eve-inspiracy.com/index.php?topic=1301.msg17438#msg17438

I am quite convinced the remarks about how people are such nerds etc were meant in good humor and to lighten up the thread etc etc, rather than posted in anger or in an attempt to make someone feel bad.

However, in my opinion, "lightening up" the mood by making fun of other people taking something seriously is not fun. Also, saying that I "lack a sense of humor" or belong to "a sensitive bunch" when I do not like fun being made of myself or others is not fun either.

Attempts at humor can turn into flames even if the poster means well. Making light fun of people is fine in my books. But when you do, you run the risk that what to you is "light fun" might not be perceived so by others. In my opinion calling someone a nerd for taking something seriously stops being "just some light fun" when the target of that or the audience feels that it is not fun. How you meant it is irrelevant.

Calling those people sensitive and humorless when they do not like being ridiculed does not serve to make a forum welcoming. It leads to an environment where people do not dare to say when they do not like the "fun", and harsher and harsher "fun" considered the norm.

I think a lot of us are on this forum because we have already been there already once,  no?

(Moderators, please move this if this is the wrong forum for this. Did not want to derail the actual thread any further.)

[Vieve]

[serious comment]

As I mentioned, my comments on the thread were posted in good humor.  I'll confess that I posted them in an attempt to defuse the thread before I was provoked to add anything thoughtful, constructive and substantive (YMMV) on the subject matter.  I deeply apologize if you or anyone else viewed this as an attack on the eggs they were throwing into the handbasket rather than on the escalator said handbasket seemed to be riding into hell.

I like eggs.  I don't like hell.

[/serious comment]

[Elsebeth Rhiannon]

I am not sure that if you want to make comments about eggs in a handbasket on its way to hell you really understood my point there.

But it's not important as such: I know you did not mean any harm and I'm not mad at you or think you a mean person or any such thing.

[hellgremlin]

*reads thread*

...

Nerd.

[hellgremlin]

(Yes I meant it in good humour the first time. I was commenting on this forum's unique and fascinating tendency to analyze things to a depth even I am unaccustomed to - as a self-professed nerd. And here we are, in a thread analyzing my previous statement of "nerd" to a great depth, and repeating the very factors which led me to call y'all nerds in the first place. It's like a nerdbius loop. A nerdoboros.)

(The second time I totally meant it though.)

[Silver Night]

I appreciate your position, Else, and 'I was just kidding around' is indeed often used as an excuse to troll, flame, and to keep people from disagreeing using ridicule. We do keep an eye out for exactly that kind of behavior.

On the other hand, I think there is room for people to be a bit silly or make tongue in cheek comments if they'd like, even in threads where there is also serious discussion. As with most things, going too far in either direction is probably not good for the health of the forum, or the atmosphere we are trying to create, here.

Ultimately the moderators have to make a determination as to whether something breaches the guidelines or not. It's a judgement call on our part, and not everyone is always going to agree with us.

I would encourage everyone to report things if they feel that they violate the guidelines. Whether or not we ultimately take action, we do take every report seriously.

[Elsebeth Rhiannon]

Thanks for the moderator clarification. I understand and agree with the idea that there has to be room for light-hearted and tongue-in-cheek comments to, but still disagree with where to draw the line in this case. Since I am absolutely not willing to volunteer to moderate here myself, I'll stop arguing now, though. Thanks for the good work.

I am absolutely a self-professed nerd too. I do not at all mind the usage of the word. What I did mind was the attempt to use it in a (light-hearted, humorous, but still) pejorative way to tell people that they are silly to take seriously stuff that matters to them.

I want to state that I am not mad at anyone personally for doing so. It was meant as a joke, even if I feel it was a seriously tasteless one, and I totally believe no harm was meant. I often make comments and jokes that are received differently than I expected myself, and I'd rather people occasionally crossed the line than were overly cautious in case Someone Gets Hurt.