Backstage - OOC Forums
EVE-Online RP Discussion and Resources => EVE Fiction + Fiction discussion => Topic started by: Louella Dougans on 21 Apr 2012, 13:06
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As something different:
(http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a231/bertcom1/bhaalgorn1.png)
Once, long ago, there was a little boy called Avel, and he lived with his parents on Athra.
Avel was a good boy, until one day, his mummy said it was time for bed, and Avel said "no!"
His mummy was very cross, and said that naughty children that did not go to bed were eaten by demons.
Avel did not believe this, and said he did not believe in demons, and would stay up all night if he wanted.
His mummy spanked him and told him to go to sleep, and left the room.
Avel did not go to sleep and said "I'm going to stay up all night!". Then he heard a noise from under the bed.
It was a Bhaalgorn!
The Bhaalgorn said "Why are you awake at this time, little boy?". And Avel said "I can stay up if I want!".
The Bhaalgorn said "Did your mummy not tell you to go to bed?". And Avel said "Yes, but I don't have to."
Then the Bhaalgorn said "You are a naughty little boy, so I am going to eat you." And Avel said "No! Why? You're an evil demon and I don't believe in you!"
The Bhaalgorn said "Is it not Written? In the beginning all things were as one. God parted them and breathed life into his creation. Divided the parts and gave each its place. And unto each, bestowed purpose. ? I am a Bhaalgorn. My Purpose, given to my by God, is to eat naughty children that do not go to bed when their mummy says so. I am most certainly not evil, when serving the Lord in this way."
And Avel screamed and screamed, and his mummy appeared. "Avel, what is wrong?" she said.
"Mummy, there's a Bhaalgorn under the bed that was going to eat me because I was naughty!" said Avel.
Avel's mummy looked under the bed, and the Bhaalgorn looked back out. "Hello." said the Bhaalgorn.
"You can't eat my child!" said Avel's mummy, crying. "Eat me instead, but let him live!"
The Bhaalgorn shook its head. "I cannot eat you. Though, I am impressed by your willingness to sacrifice yourself for another. For it is Written: For whosoever shall lay his life down for his Lord, He shall be taken into the arms of God, And forever consecrated will he be. Since you would sacrifice yourself for your child, I shall leave you be."
Avel's mummy opened the window and said "Please leave, Bhaalgorn."
The Bhaalgorn flew up to the window ledge, and said "I shall, Righteous and Noble Amarr woman, but be Warned! If your child is naughty again, I will be forced to return to eat him, and there will be no way to stop me. For it is Written: woe to the soul who dares to knock twice."
And with that, the Bhaalgorn flew out the window.
Avel's mummy hugged him tightly "This is why I said you were to go to bed, Avel"
Avel was really sorry, and from that day on, went to bed when his mummy said so. As all good children should, because the Bhaalgorn is watching, ready to follow God's command to eat naughty children that disobey their mummy.
END
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This is adorable. Aldy is going to tell this one to his son.
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Fucking Victory. 8)
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Why, I didnt sleep this night. I hope you are proud of yourself.
:cube:
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I love it.
:cube:
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I like this, maybe a little too much.
Lately, my real-life son's acted a bit like Avel. He's nearly four, so that's normal but my patience has its limits and his inability to disbelieve in monsters under the bed is a useful tool.
So I modified the story and told it to him tonight. Worked a treat. I'll deal with the psychological trauma in years to come.
Thanks Louella! :D
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Please tell me you're going to do more Amarrian children's stories, Lou. Pwease?
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You are certainly the best at bringing everyday Amarr to life, Lou. Love it.
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Lou, that's awesome :cube:
Do want more.
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thanks all :)
i will try and write more, wehn the inspiration grabs me :)
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Jonto the Slave's Big Adventure
Once, there was a slave called Jonto, who lived on his Holder's estates in the Bleak Lands.
Jonto was a farmhand, and drove his tractor up and down the fields each day, tending to the crops that his Holder grew. He liked his job, as it had lots of sunlight and fresh air.
One day, as he was out tending to the crops, he saw an aircraft land in a nearby field, flattening the crops that were growing there.
"How rude" thought Jonto, "Those crops are ruined now, what a waste."
Some odd looking men in uniforms came out of the aircraft and ran over to Jonto and his tractor.
"Bror, har vi kommet for å frigjøre deg, bli med oss!" they said, which Jonto did not understand.
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" said Jonto.
"Han snakker ikke Matari, den uheldige mannen." said one of them. Another one of them then threw a net over Jonto, and carried him off to the aircraft.
"Help! help!" said Jonto "I'm being kidnapped!", but then one of the odd looking men clubbed him and knocked him out.
When Jonto awoke, he looked around, and saw that he was aboard a spaceship, along with some other men and women that had been abducted.
"What's going on?" he said.
"We've been rescued by Republic freedom fighters" said one man.
"Rescued? from what?" said Jonto.
"From a life of slavery and misery" said the man.
"I wasn't miserable?" said Jonto, confused.
"You were, deep down" said the man. "Even if you didn't think you were, you were miserable."
Jonto didn't understand, and stared at the floor. One of the women sat next to him. "Are you missing your home?" she said.
"Yes, I liked my farming job" said Jonto. "My name's Jonto, by the way."
"I'm Salleh" said the woman. "I used to farm as well. Now I don't know what's happening, and I'm scared"
"Me too" said Jonto.
Just then, one of the uniformed men arrived along with a uniformed woman.
"Gled dere, brødre og søstre, vi tar deg til friheten i republikken!" said the man.
"Rejoice, brothers and sisters, we are taking you to freedom in the Republic! said the woman.
Some of the people in the room cheered. Others like Jonto and Salleh didn't say anything.
The ship travelled on for a few hours, but then there was a sudden noise of an alarm, and flashing red lights.
"What is it, what's going on?" said Jonto.
"Pirates!" said someone. "We're being attacked!"
Just then there was a loud bang, and the ship shook. The lights flickered and there was a smell of burning electrical wire.
Jonto was scared, and mumbled a prayer to Saint Junip. He heard Salleh also praying, and went over beside her, to hold her hand.
"Thanks Jonto" said Salleh.
There was another loud bang, and then silence. The lights flickered again, then went out completely, before the dim emergency lights came on.
"We've stopped." said someone.
There was the sound of people running through the corridors outside, then some gunfire. A shape appeared at the doorway.
"det er blod pakt!" said the figure.
"What did he say?" said Salleh. "I don't know" said Jonto. "It's the Blood raiders" said someone else.
"Blood raiders? God save us!" said Salleh.
"Oh, hush with your god talk" said another woman.
There was more gunfire, then it fell silent. Another shape passed the doorway, then another, then another, before one came into the doorway.
"Aharrr, what have we here?" said a coarse Amarrian woman's voice. "Oooh, slaves! how useful!"
The lights came back on, and the Blood raider woman looked around at the people in the room. "Lots and lots of lovely little slaves" she said. "You'll fetch a good price, I'm sure. Wahey!"
Jonto and Salleh held onto each other, and mumbled another prayer.
"Oho, what's this?" said the Blood raider woman. "Faithful slaves, well I never. You'll make a special prize".
Some other Blood raider people came into the room, and took everyone onto the Blood Raider ship.
A few hours later, the Blood raider woman came into the room where Jonto and Salleh were.
"Ahaahaarr" she said. "I'm going to enjoy demonstrating the falseness of your interpretation of Scripture, and showing you the Real Truth"
Jonto said "I'll never abandon my belief!". "Neither will I!" said Salleh.
"We'll see about that, me hearties" said the Blood Raider woman. "Wait, what's that?"
Just then, the alarm sounded. "Damnation!" said the Blood Raider. "It's the Navy"
"Surrender your vessel and prepare to be boarded" came a voice over the ship's loudspeakers.
The ship shaked and rattled as the blood raiders attempted to escape.
Jonto and Salleh held onto each other, then there was a loud explosion, and everything went dark and quiet.
"We have to get out of here" said Salleh. "Where to?" said Jonto. "I don't know, but we can't stay here".
Jonto and Salleh crawled out of the room, and saw a tiny glow from emergency lighting that said "emergency exit".
They went that way, and found a supply room with emergency spacesuits in it.
"We should put one of those on" said Jonto. Which they did.
Jonto and Salleh put on a spacesuit and went to the emergency exit. "Now what?" said Salleh. "We should get outside, I think" said Jonto. "I don't want to be on this ship with these blood raider heretics". "Alright" said Salleh. Then they went outside, and stood on the hull of the blood raider ship.
Looking up, they saw an Imperial Navy cruiser, and Jonto waved at it. The cruiser turned a searchlight onto them, and Jonto kept waving. "Hello?" he said, pressing a button on his spacesuit that said "emergency radio".
"Identify yourself" said a voice.
"Umm, my name's Jonto, and I'm a farmer that was captured by minmatar and then by blood raiders, and I really want to go home now" said Jonto.
"Is that so" said the voice. "Stay right there"
Jonto and Salleh stood where they were, and some Amarr space marines came over and picked them up. "You're safe now" said the leader.
"Thank God you came" said Salleh. "we were scared."
"Indeed." said the leader.
Jonto and Salleh met the Navy captain, and explained who they were. The captain smiled at them, and said they were both very lucky, since they were the only two that had survived, and that was surely a sign that they were blessed by God.
Then the Navy cruiser took them both home to Jonto's Holder's estate.
Jonto's Holder was very pleased to see Jonto again, and held a celebration giving thanks to God for Jonto's safe return. Jonto and Salleh were later married, and had many children, and lived happily ever after, with Jonto continuing to farm with his tractor, which he enjoyed doing.
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Why I don't approve with the spanking part the our the stories I will tell my kids.
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Jonto and Salleh put on a spacesuit and went to the emergency exit.
Under careful examination and with much thought and prayer I have determined that this tale is not appropriate for righteous amarrian children. The fact that Jonto and Salleh shared the same space suit is completely and utterly scandalous.
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This is the best thing ever.
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(http://i.imgur.com/P8JGb.gif)
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The Evil Lollipop
Once there was a little girl called Qerray, who liked lollipops, and going to the park with her mummy. The park had a lollipop stand, run by a nice priest, who sold lots of tasty lollipops to the children that went to the park.
One day when Qerray went to the park, the lollipop stand wasn't there, and Qerray was sad. She asked her mummy if she could go to the shops instead, to buy a lollipop, but her mummy said no, because those lollipops were too expensive, and Qerray's mummy said she could have an ice-cream instead, later.
But Qerray wanted a lollipop, and stamped her foot. "I don't want ice-cream, I want a lollipop!", she said. Her mummy said to go and play on the swings, and behave, otherwise she wouldn't get a lollipop ever again. So Qerray went to play on the swings, while her mummy talked to the other mummies that took their children to the park.
At the swings, she met a strange-looking man, with a pointy nose and a moustache. The man said "Do you like lollipops?", and Qerray said "yes, but mummy said I can't have one", and the man said "I have a lollipop for you, but you can't tell your mummy", and gave Qerray a lollipop, which was red. Qerray said "thank you", and the man said "Enjoy your lollipop" and then left.
The next time Qerray and her mummy went to the park, the lollipop stand was still not there, but the strange-looking man was, and when Qerray's mummy wasn't looking, Qerray got another red lollipop from the strange-looking man.
After a few days, Qerray noticed that one of her teeth fell out. She showed the tooth to her mummy, and her mummy said she shouldn't have any more lollipops, in case more of her teeth fell out. Qerray was not happy about this.
Then when Qerray and her mummy went to the park, and Qerray saw the strange-looking man, and said to him that her tooth fell out and she couldn't have any more lollipops. The strange-looking man said that he had a brother who was a dentist, who could give her a new tooth, then she could have all the lollipops that she could want ! Qerray was excited by the thought of lots of lollipops, and said she wanted to meet the strange-looking man's brother, so when Qerray's mummy wasn't looking, she went with the strange-looking man to see his brother.
The strange-looking man's brother looked exactly the same, and said "hello, you needed a new tooth?" and Qerray said yes, and then she sat in the dentist chair, and the strange-looking dentist opened a box of new teeth, found one the right size, and put it into Qerray's mouth. "There you go", he said, and Qerray was happy. The strange-looking man gave her another lollipop, and then she went back to the park where her mummy was.
That night, when Qerray went to bed and was trying to sleep, she heard strange voices, that told her to do things. She was scared, and woke up and went to see her mummy. Her mummy asked what was wrong, and Qerray said that she was hearing strange voices. Qerray's mummy was worried about this, and said they had to go to the doctor right away.
The doctor looked at Qerray and asked her what was wrong, and Qerray said she was hearing strange voices. The doctor asked where the voices were coming from, and Qerray said they sounded like they were coming from inside her head. The doctor and Qerray's mummy looked very worried about this. Then the doctor said Qerray could have a lollipop, for being a good girl. But when Qerray opened her mouth to eat the lollipop, she heard the strange voices again, and this time Qerray's mummy and the doctor heard them too. They were coming from inside Qerray's mouth! From the tooth that the strange-looking dentist had put there !
Qerray's mummy asked "where did you get that tooth?" and Qerray said all about the strange-looking man and the strange-looking dentist, and the red lollipops. Qerray's mummy and the doctor looked very worried about this, and the doctor sent a message to the Inquisition.
The next day, some Inquisitors went with Qerray and her mummy to the park, and Qerray pointed out the strange-looking man, and the Inquisitors ran after the strange-looking man and arrested him and his brother. The strange-looking man and his brother admitted that they were in fact evil cultists, who gave children evil lollipops full of evil sugar, that caused the children's teeth to fall out, so they could replace the teeth with evil teeth that had radios in them, which they used to make the children do evil things.
Qerray's mummy said that this is why too many lollipops are bad, and why Qerray was naughty for wanting lollipops after her mummy had said no, and then Qerray said she was sorry, and would not accept lollipops from strange-looking men ever again.
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(http://iotwreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/myvan.jpg)
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These are awesome, Louella! :cube:
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(http://iotwreport.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/myvan.jpg)
Sign me up!
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maybe that story would make children afraid of the dentist, more that it'd make them afraid of funny looking dudes.