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[Mizhara]

The individuals, no Cas... I'm not disgusted by them, unless they're simply hateful regressives. It's the overall humanity, that our society hasn't managed to get it's ass out of the stupid side of the genepool yet.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

*peeks into the thread* (And, it's no fun when your mother doesn't realize that it hurts to hear, "I was hoping to have some grandbabies from you, but I guess I won't get to see that now," in the middle of a phone call to tell you your sister's pregnant.)

From a woman that had her mother in law constantly on her back about "when am I going to get a grandbaby?" for years - fuck 'er, it's none of her business if/when/why or with who you have children with if you do.  One of the things I've had to come to accept is that we as woman aren't even obligated to bare children for our own husbands unless *you* want to... and sometimes even when you give that gift the person won't be grateful until their holding the kid and treat you like shit the entire time your pregnant.   

And just because your partner's female does not mean you can't have kids.  Modern medicine is an interesting thing - you can even carry her egg or her yours if you wanted and had the means.  If you two really wanted a baby and couldn't afford to go the medical route (as much as this is a religious no-no for me personally to bring up - my bishop would have a heart attack) you could always agree as a couple to borrow a sperm donor for the night or two.  Careful timing of ovulation cycles could reduce how often you would have to do that.

But that's only if you want kids and coming from a biased source of a very happy mom who in past rough times over the years would actually would tell herself that if her husband kept saying no to kids she would leave, stay single and borrow someone. (Thankfully no longer an issue - *snuggles her 2 month old*)

Also - pregnancy porn is not as common as a fetish as I had hoped.  /sigh. 

On the same token for any male partners - it is legal to adopt in some states - pick the state you settle in carefully if you think you still want a child.

I have an odd religious belief that we all exist as spirits before we were born and are waiting to come to this world and a practical belief that there are so many kids that need adopted it's not even funny.  So don't let the fact your relationship is "wrong" according to some society sterotype stop people that would be perfectly wonderful parents from doing so.

My goodness I've gone more Jack then I should .

Random side note - my kid just laughed!  *dances with glee*  I never heard her do that before!

Hopefully the rant is not too off-topic.

[Casiella]

Parenting is an interesting thing. I have so many thoughts about that whole issue that I would end up monopolizing this thread and driving it down a different road entirely.

Summary: "kids are good."

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Parenting is an interesting thing. I have so many thoughts about that whole issue that I would end up monopolizing this thread and driving it down a different road entirely.

Summary: "kids are good."

I've been thinking about this one - baby brag thread split off being started as to not completely derail  *grins*

[Casiella]

eeeexcellent.

[GoGo Yubari]

Hehe, and it was this totally unrelated to Eve thread which made me register for this forum.

While I dig the aesthetics that usually go around with the BDSM scene, I'm pretty vanilla myself if viewed from the perspective of a lifestyler. I have gotten to see a lot of the scene however as we used to run a techno club way back in the day which had a lot of crossover due the aesthetics we embraced and the personal preferences of a few of our other guys. A fun crowd, certainly.

One thing which sort of bugs me about going BDSM - and this is personally for me of course - is a sense of... ah, I can't pin it down well, but it seems a little bit hypocritical to me. The very idea of safe words and "the submissive being in true control" wrecks it for me. It isn't domination after all if we agree to it. And that.. somehow it takes something out it.

I should probably add that though I am very vanilla, I am also sexually .. well, dominant. If you sleep with me, I will ravage you and it will be me who's taking you places. And trust me, if you were attracted enough to be led to the bed with me, you will fuckin' like it. It's not bragging, it's experience. Indeed, in my experience all girls respond well to a dominant male who knows what the hell he is doing. So, the point is, there is a certain resonance in my still rather vanilla preferences to this stuff. In that vein too, I can play at being more full-out BDSM-style for kicks, but I would never be able to be submissive without feeling just a little bit too uncomfortable. So, if a chick would pull that off, we would probably end up wrestling.. which well, doesn't actually sound bad if you accept that you at some point you will be under me and screaming out an orgasm.

So, what I'm saying isn't only that I have that resonance. I think the archetypical male personality does as well. The instincts that make up the BDSM scene are hardwired into us all. It's just that some people take it a lot further than the rest and that - it becoming a lifestyle instead of just something I prefer - is where my identification with it stops.

Edit and caveat - please read my text understanding that I do firmly believe that there is an exception to every rule and so called stereotype, but those exceptions don't negate the power and usefulness of archetypes.

[Zuzanna Alondra]

Indeed, in my experience all girls respond well to a dominant male who knows what the hell he is doing.

*chuckles*

Even girls that need and crave a feeling of control can appreciate that imagery.

[Jozana]

I had to ask someone what a "lifestyler" was. lol.


Oh my innocence backbone! /o\

....

Could you in turn enlighten me on the subject? 

[Mizhara]

Right now I'm in the middle of quite a bit of browsing, so I'll be a little less helpful than I usually am in this thread: Somewhere... within these eight pages... there's posts that explain what a lifestyler is. The whole thread is dedicated to it, after all.

[Ciarente]

I've heard mothers warning their children about us just because we've held hands in public; it's not like we flaunt it and make out in the canned foods aisle of the grocery store or anything close to it.

I live in an inner-city area that has more gay couples per square meter than anywhere else in Australia and I still can't shake the decades of training that it's not safe hold hands in a public place.

I'm glad that it doesn't even cross the minds of the younger members of my community that a public display of affection could get them hurt; it breaks my heart every time a young friend tells me, shocked and appalled, that s/he got verbally abused/spat on/roughed up/beaten badly enough to end up in hospital after assuming that what's normal in our 'gay ghetto' is safe outside it.

[Ashar Kor-Azor]

Heh, gay ghetto.

People need to get their heads into this fucking century. They're here, they're queer, they have swatches.

[CJ Walker]

I live in an inner-city area that has more gay couples per square meter than anywhere else in Australia and I still can't shake the decades of training that it's not safe hold hands in a public place.

I'm glad that it doesn't even cross the minds of the younger members of my community that a public display of affection could get them hurt; it breaks my heart every time a young friend tells me, shocked and appalled, that s/he got verbally abused/spat on/roughed up/beaten badly enough to end up in hospital after assuming that what's normal in our 'gay ghetto' is safe outside it.

I really notice the difference leaving university and entering the corporate world. _Very_ different cultures. Even in Wellington, which is pretty liberal in general there is still quite a need for safe spaces and the like because it _is_ less safe for a gay or lesbian couple to hold hands, make out or whatever in public. And that makes me really sad.

CJ

[Seriphyn]

It's not really any different from seeing a woman in a burkha, or an ethnic minority in a very white area. It just hasn't been fully accepted yet, is all. Give it a generation I reckon.

[Lillith Blackheart]

Seriph: What is that animated gif from. That is hilarious.

[Casiella]

It's not really any different from seeing a woman in a burkha, or an ethnic minority in a very white area. It just hasn't been fully accepted yet, is all. Give it a generation I reckon.

While I agree with the first sentence, the last one frustrates me a little. Sure, in a generation things will have improved. That doesn't mean we should wait. Read "Letter from Birmingham Jail" for what I mean.

We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct-action campaign that was "well timed" in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word "Wait!" It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This "Wait" has almost always meant "Never." We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that "justice too long delayed is justice denied."

Not everything is directly comparable, but the analogy is clear.