I see. That's certainly more clear, and I'm glad I wasn't insulting with the assumption.
That said, a word of advice from my own playbook...
I've been RPing for a long time, starting with WoD's Vampire: The Masquerade. My first ever character was basically me, with fangs. I had a poor experience, took things too personally, etc. With Havohej, I set out to have a believable villain, but one far removed from my real self in his thoughts and motivations. For instance, I would never be okay with, say, the murder of a several thousand (let alone several hundred thousand) people because they would not give up an ideology that was distasteful to the status quo. Havo, on the other hand, was more than willing to blow up a freighter full of liberated slaves because they wouldn't give up their religious faith.
What I'm saying is, keep who YOU are separate from who your character is. Let people know you for you, if you so choose, and let them know your character for your character. Most importantly, you keep yourself. Don't be too effected personally by what befalls your character, his/her triumphs and failures. Maintain the "it's a game" aspect of things, you know?
My 0.02 ISK.