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[Synthia]

The Kaztropolis Imperial Cyberpsychology Institute

"Ah, excellent, our newest member the team is arrived. Welcome, Doctor"
"Thank you, I'm excited to be here."
"Good, good, now, we'll give you the tour."

Some time later

"So, that's the simpler research that we do, and now, to meet our star patient. And here she is, her Majesty herself."
"Good heavens, what am I looking at ?"



"Well, we're not sure, I'm afraid. That's where our research comes in. The Queen herself is not sure either, but believes understanding it is important for her project."
"She doesn't know what it is ?"
"No, unfortunately, so much of her mind defies explanation. That pattern though, appears when she is thinking about religious matters."
"I see... what's happening ?"



"Ah, she must be talking with the Archbishop about something."
"You can tell that from the pattern?"
"Sort of, the Queen provides us with an itinerary of her meetings at Court, and a log of some of her thoughts. You come to recognise certain patterns."



"That must be quite some discussion then."
"Indeed."
"Does this mean we can read the Queen's thoughts ? Isn't that violating her privacy ?"
"Oh, we can't directly read them, and she has given us permission to look at this part of her brain. She believes it would provide information vital to Reclaim the Drone regions, by civilising the drone AIs there"
"Interesting."



"So, we study the patterns, compare them with the Queen's logs, and then we'd know what pattern relates to what thoughts... how does that help ?"
"Ah, well, if and when the Navy manages to retrieve potential converts, then, by looking at their patterns, then we would be able to tell what they are thinking, allowing either ourselves or the Queen to communicate with them."
"Do you think it will work ?"
"It is why her Majesty set up this Institute. Our mission is to look after her mental health, and to assist her research."
"I understand. Oh, what's happening now ?"



"Ah, she must have finished her conversation with the Archbishop. This pattern relates to reading the Intergalactic Summit"
"The Queen reads the Summit ?"
"Yes. She believes there is much useful information there."



"I'm not sure on that, those capsuleers have some strange ideas."
"Well, that's true, oh did you see that ?"



"What was it, does it mean something ?"
"Someone wrote a pun on the Summit."
"Is that bad ?"
"No, the Queen likes puns."
"I see, well, this is all exciting, I'm sure I'll enjoy working here."
"I hope so. Welcome aboard."

[Synthia]

The Amazing Maze

"this way mummy!"
"Yes."
"we're lost !"
"We can Work our way Out, Zara, by Exploring."
"Yay!"

"Excuse me, your Majesty, but I have received word that your visitors are on their way."
"That is Good to Know. When will they be Arriving ?"
"Within an hour or so."
"That is quite Soon. Have Lord Admiral Arkaral meet them."
"As you wish, Majesty."
"When they reach the Palace, have them Shown through the Garden. I should have Escaped the Maze by Then."
"Escaped... ?"
"Yes. Zara and Myself are currently Trapped within the Amazing Maze."
"I... see... your Majesty."
"If Necessary, I can Expedite our Escape by connecting to the Kaztropolis Weather Satellite Network."
"As... you... wish, your Majesty."
"Excellent."

"The guests are to be brought to the gardens, Her Majesty is busy escaping the maze."
"Couldn't she just, well, step over it ? The damn maze is only what ? 50cm tall ?"
"Oh god, no. That would Risk Tearing her Dress."
"Please don't do the voice, it gives me the willies"

[Synthia]

On Her Majesty's Secret Service

"Lord Chamberlain. I have this Document, that states it is From the Kaztropol Secret Service."
"I see, Majesty."
"I did not Know that there Is such a Service."
"Ah."
"The Document has an Official Seal on it, that States that they Act with My Authority."
"Ah."
"Lord Chamberlain. I request an Explanation."
"It's... complicated, your Majesty."
"How Complicated ?"
"Extremely complicated..."
"Lord Chamberlain. I shall be Unamused, if there is an Agency, that is Falsely claiming Authorisation from Myself."
"Well, Majesty... it is like this..."

Some Time Earlier.

"Explain Plausible Deniability Again ?"
"Majesty, if you do not know that the agency exists, then when you disavow any knowledge of their actions, then it will be an honest answer."
"I See. And why would I need to Disavow such Knowledge ?"
"Because, Majesty, the Secret Service occasionally would be required to do things that would contradict Scripture."
"I am Uncomfortable with this Knowledge."
"Indeed, Majesty, which is why it is better that you do not know."
"I See. Then, Reluctantly, I shall Authorise the Agency. Bring the Document."
"Here it is, Majesty"
"By my Signature and my Seal, I Authorise the Kaztropol Secret Service, to Act in My Name, to Protect the People, City, and Planet of Kaztropol, from Any and All Threats, Internal or External, from this Day Forth. I also name Director Maddam as First Director of the Agency."
"Thank you, Majesty"
"You are Welcome, Director Maddam. However, there is One thing that must be Done, to Maintain the Plausible Deniability."
"Oh, Majesty ?"
"Yes. I shall Delete my Memory of this Meeting, and as a Result, it is Unlikely that we shall meet Again."
"I see, Majesty."
"It is Unfortunate, but I See no other Way. I Regret this State of Affairs."
"I understand, Majesty. It is the way of being a secret agent, to disappear from people's awareness."
"Yes. May the Red God protect You and your Agents, Director. Goodbye and Good Luck"
"Thank you, Majesty"


"I See... Lord Chamberlain... So, I Authorised the Agency, and then Deleted my Memory of so Doing, because of Plausible Deniability."
"Yes, Majesty."
"But Now I know about their Existence."
"Yes... Majesty."
"I shall have to Delete my Memory of this Conversation."
"Is that really necessary ?"
"Yes. Before I Do, instruct the Secret Service that they must not send me Reports directly, unless it is Important."
"As you wish, Majesty"
"Also, How many Times have we Had this Conversation ?"
"I... errr.... Three, Majesty"
"I See."

[Rin Valador]

The way I imagine Synthia speaks would be akin to the way Rachel Alucarde speaks in the blazeblu series. Real hawty and with an aura of "I can do no wrong" about her 

[Mitara Newelle]

[Synthia]

*** EYES ONLY. NOT TO BE SHARED BY ELECTRONIC MEANS ***

The Kaztropol Civil Service Survival Guide

As a member of the KCS, it is expected that you follow certain rules and procedures when going about your business, which are detailed in the Code of Conduct. This document however, addresses some of the more confidential procedures. In particular, there are certain methods that absolutely must be observed when interacting with Her Majesty.

1. Try not to do anything that may cause the Queen to have an Idea.
The Queen's Ideas, while many of them are novel and beneficial, others are disruptive to the efficient operation of public services. The bureaucratic upheaval caused by an Idea is extremely detrimental, and must be avoided whenever possible.

2. The Queen's vision is based on activity.
If Her Majesty is visiting your department, try to appear busy. Her Majesty is fully aware of the proverb that "The Deceiver finds work for Idle Hands", and so, if you do not appear to be busy, the Queen may find Something For You to Do.

3. Be Careful about appearing knowledgeable.
If the Queen has observed something that is puzzling to her, while it is tempting to volunteer knowledge, you may find yourself rapidly out of your depth. We all know the story of the junior civil servant who found themselves appointed Director of the Entomological Communication Institute during the First Ant War, after they foolishly commented that ants communicate by pheromones.

4. Be convinced by the Queen's disguises.
Occasionally, Her Majesty will visit unannounced, and in disguise. However, she is always the same height, and always speaks in the same voice. Do not let her know that you know who she is. If and when she reveals herself, say "Ah, your Majesty. A most convincing disguise." The last thing anyone at the KCS needs, is for Her Majesty to become more proficient at deception.

5. Be Careful if mentioning Scripture.
Her Majesty is very knowledgeable about the Scriptures. If the Queen says "It is Written", then it most certainly is, and as often as not, is Written in one of the lesser known volumes of Scripture. If you are unfamiliar with that particular Scripture, be very careful about admitting that fact, lest the Queen have an Idea about Scripture education classes for KCS members.

6. Do not panic if the Queen tries to seduce you.
This is what happens when people give Her Majesty an Idea. Someone gave the Queen a romance novel, "The Red Queen of Oyonata", and she has interpreted it as a guide to how a Sani Sabik Queen should behave.

7. Try to steer Her Majesty towards art.
If the Queen makes a comment about an appropriate subject, do try to mention that "That would make an interesting subject to explore in an Artwork". When the Queen is busy with her paintings and sculptures, she is not Finding Things for People to Do. It is no coincidence, that the run-up to the Kaztropol Art Festival is the least stressful time for the KCS.

8. Try not to do anything that may cause the Queen to have an Idea.
This is important enough to mention again. When the Queen has an Idea, it is a most stressful time for everyone.

Following the above rules, will make your employment at the KCS a lot less stressful.

*** This document is printed on edible paper. Consume after reading. Do not allow this document to fall into the wrong hands. Do not share this document by any electronic method. ***

[Farhat]

* Farhat eats document

[Ché Biko]

Just read this thread today.
I hope you enjoy the cookies as much as I did reading this.

[Xepharious]

There were cookies!? Where <.< >.>

Love it Synthia, absolute gold. Oh and I feel like anyone with a copy of Red Queen of Oyonata is suddenly a threat to the empire.... and what of the author!?

[Ché Biko]

There were cookies!? Where <.< >.>

Tweetfleet slack, either #lore or #roleplay. I think #roleplay.

[Mitara Newelle]

This continues to be a most entertaining thread!

[Synthia]

The Empress's Mercy

Kaztropolis Police HQ Interview room H

"Look, they've got multiple eyewitnesses that place you there, your fingerprints are on the paint tube, and you had paint traces on your clothes. They've got enough to convict you of sedition, more than enough."
"What's the penalty for sedition ?"
"At best, a lifetime of slavery. With no guarantee that lifetime will be particularly long."
"What are our options here ?"
"I'd say that we should go for the lesser charge of defacing public property, that should only get you a couple years of corrective slavery at the most."
"Is that the only option ?"
"Well, you could appeal to the Empress for mercy, but, I wouldn't recommend it."

Kaztropolis Imperial Palace Audience Chamber

"Majesty, this next petitioner was charged with sedition and defacing public property."
"What did they Deface ?"
"They painted 'down with the Empress' on the wall of the Imperial University, Majesty."
"I See, Bring them In."

"You May Speak."
"Your Majesty, I appeal to your sense of mercy, and ask forgiveness, as I am but a lowly sinner who has realised the error of their ways."
"I See. I have been Informed of the Exact Nature of your Crimes."
"Majesty, I-"
"Silence. I have Decided to be Merciful."
*murmurs from the Empress's advisors*
"Since you seem Fond of Painting Words on Public Property, I have Decided to commute your Sentence from a Life of Slavery"
*more murmurs*
"You shall Paint the Words of Scripture on the Great Wall of Kaztropol. Such is my Decision."
"Th-thank you, your Majesty, umm, may I ask... which words of Scripture ?"
"All Of Them"
"A-all of them ?"
"With a Calligraphy Brush. Yes. All Of Them. You are Dismissed."

"A most amusing decision, your Majesty"
"Yes. It was Fitting. They shall have Plenty of Time to Contemplate Things whilst Painting the Scriptures. Perhaps they shall Redeem Themselves while so Doing."

[Lunarisse Aspenstar]

+!

Submit to writing contest?

[Elmund Egivand]

Not sure if better punishment or worse punishment.

[Synthia]

"Chancellor. I Read an Unusual Fact today, that stated that More People Die while attempting to wear Socks, than are killed by Dangerous Animal Attack."
"I see, your Majesty."
"Yes. Considering the Expense involved in Building the Great Wall of Kaztropol, to guard against Wombat Intrusions, then Surely, a similar Effort should be made against the Sock Danger ?"
"Umm, that is a good point, your Majesty."
"Yes. The People may become Concerned that my Government is not Allocating Resources Appropriately, by spending on efforts to Contain the Wombat Intrusions while Ignoring larger Problems."
"I am not sure the people are particularly concerned by dangerous socks, your Majesty."
"Am I not a Metaphorical Mother to my People ? Should I not be Concerned about their Safety ?"
"Ah, quite, your Majesty, How do you wish to proceed ? Are you going to outlaw the wearing of socks ?"
"No. Socks and related Items of clothing, such as Stockings, are an Important part of Fashion. I Myself quite Enjoy wearing Stockings as part of an Appropriate Outfit."
"Ah, of course, your Majesty"


By the Order of Queen Synthia:
No Person under the age of 12, is to attempt to wear any form of Sock, without Supervision by a Competent Adult.
A Competent Adult is defined as a Person with Relevant Qualifications in the wearing of Socks and related Articles of Clothing.
Persons wishing to wear Stockings, should have them Applied by a Competent Adult, not apply them themselves.