Having been an RL leader for a while, in the sense of being a Company Officer in the Fire Service, not a Tony Robbins "business leader" type -- I have to disagree on the "put the group before yourself always" line, for two simple reasons:
1) Most directly applicable to this particular situation: this is a game we're talking about, not a real-life business. It's supposed to be FUN, and if you're constantly putting your own wants and needs aside for others, that's generally
not fun, and it's mentally and emotionally draining! ...unless perhaps you're one of those masochistic types that enjoys that sorta thing. Being a Sansha loyalist, that would follow, so, in that case, have at it.
2) In a more general sense: Many people paint "leading a group" as this false dichotomy between the group's needs/wants/goals and your own personal needs/wants/goals, and that those two must always somehow be incompatible and in "competition". If you "get" 40% what you "want", that only leaves 60% for the group, so to speak. The truth is that the dynamic I just described leaves out one important aspect: the needs/wants/goals of the other individuals in the group, that may be aligned with, or contrary to, the group's overall goals.
In reality, there is no dichotomy, the group dynamic is in fact a tripod, and being good sci-fi geeks, you know that "a tripod is the most unstable of political structures."
How do you balance those aspects? That's a personal decision only you can make. However, the best place to start is figure out what your own personal goals and priorities are, what the group's goals and priorities are, and what the goals and priorities are of the other major players who comprise the group. Then, figure out where they all align and overlap, and count your blessings if they are many, because that reduces your workload greatly.
For the remainder, give and take is required, and how much you are willing to give or take in order to meet the middle, is the very question that most of us spend our entire lives answering.
Hope that halps a lil bit.