Following fast paced, massively crowded RP scenes is also a nightmare for me.
- I read reasonably fast, but not as fast as in my native language. When it's fast paced like in crowded channels or heated discussions, as much as I can type reasonably fast (even in english), I have actually sometimes a hard time to follow. I was surprised to see how we actually do not read scrupulously the whole sentences in that kind of situations, but in english I still have to at times. Which sometimes makes me scroll up to keep up with what was said, and sometimes I struggle to get back to the last entry. It's frustrating and exhausting.
- I find my sentences extremely poor compared to what I could write in my native tongue. Especially since english is extremely poor when it comes to convoluted/literary words (where it is actually extremely rich for common words). It often creates a conflict where I have to translate things that actually do not translate. I may spend a lot of time on wordreference at the worst time occasionally, which does not help. I also face the fact that I don't know many sayings and expressions to add that little flavor to the RP. I often find myself short of emotes or repeating the same ones countless times when I wouldn't in my native language.
- People often do not get at all the points I or my character are trying to make, which hints at an obvious fact, which is that when trying to be cryptic but comprehensible, what I actually write turns into a shapeless soup.
- I have always been unhappy about the mixed bag which is Lyn, since it is the only serious character that I have ever build layer after layer, starting without any knowledge of the lore. I recently managed to clean up a little all the mess, but some things are still annoying.
- The gap between the IGS/Summit Lyn and the private channels or "in flesh" Lyn has somehow gone beyond repairs. It's like 2 completely different characters. It was intended in the first place, but I still have to stitch both into one more coherent entity.
- Recently I have become annoyed and a little tired of playing a marginal/unliked character. I usually have a lot of admiration for people playing characters that are usually not very well liked by the IC echo chambers, and I was fine with it (and I still am somehow). But it has started to become weary. I am in a position where I do not have the time nor the motivation to play enough to be present ICly in channels. So my character maybe appears once in a month (and that's optimistic) in a specific channel not being the summit, and thus has progressively lost all her contacts and people that know her, or appreciate her. Thus I continue to roleplay, but eventually I mostly roleplay a ghost, a shadow of herself. Which incidentally make people believe that she does nothing but open her mouth these days, which is quite free ammo for me, though, since it's not totally true ICly.
- Lyn being completely introverted/asocial/autistic/whatever, it's hard to get into RP spontaneously. I have to MAKE people RP with her, for her to take part in anything. It's logical, but it's very limitating. But i'm mostly okay with it... Mostly.
- My character has not changed nor has really been influenced by myself a lot. Me, however, have been heavily influenced by her over the years. It's scary, and as much as I am still definitely different OOCly (I hope I am not that wicked, pitiful thing), I am not at easy with that.