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[Anslol]

I've been debating whether to even bother posting this topic in the midst of a bunch of HTFU, but I figured if I can't trust the community I'm a part of in this matter, then who can I trust?

Does anyone here get anxiety or worried when they RP certain situations? For me, if it's an action situation or a scenario where Anslo is trying to help someone, whether being mentally supportive (talking to an IC friend) or physically supportive (punching or shooting the fuck outta something), I, the player, and generally just fine and dandy and excited to see things happen.

But other situations where it's one on one, like a very intense debate with others and Anslo's in the spot light, I, the player, get anxious and feel generally uncomfortable. Which to me, consciously and logically, is stupid as I am in no danger or anything. But subconsciously, I get overly concerned and think of all the worst case scenarios.

"Oh I finally worked the derp from my character and got RP but now it's gonna get ruined."
"Oh Anslo is about to loose all his support IC."
"Oh I'm gonna get ostracized."

All this crap which, when I sit and think, is less than likely to happen. But then I get paranoid about IC AND OOC and just sort of...feel bad.

Does anyone else have this happen to them or do I just need to step back and HTFU?

[ArtOfLight]

It's not unusual.

The truth is that you invest a lot of time and energy into your character and so you want your character to have a certain level of success and you attempt to give of a certain image. As in real life, it is far easier to destroy the image and reputation of your character than it is to build it up.

The way to combat the anxiety you speak of us to remember that your character is your character and people are going to respect you, as a player, and your character a lot more if you keep him believable and real. If you're too busy trying to cater to what other people think you should say and do, then your character ceases to be yours and becomes there and, the truth is that nobody likes a sycophant.

Keep your character(s) true to themselves and take the good with the bad and you'll find that not only is RP infinitely more deep and enjoyable, people will generally have a lot more appreciation for you and your characters.

[Lyn Farel]

It happens. I am myself walking on a thin edge where I have to keep a good balance between the negative parts of my character that often piss 75% of the people off but that the character realism actually demands (because a character without flaws is shallow at best), and playing the diplomat or overall being extremely cautious on what I write.

Because the OOC reality is echo chambers and circle jerks. I am no part of these anymore, and I can assure you that as much as when I was in KotMC I was able to say almost anything fitting to the character, offensive or not, and play ideally as Malcolm described above by being 100% true to your character (which is the best you can hope for), now that the character has left his own IC relations and that I have had arguments with a few popular people OOCly, I am almost totally isolated. And being isolated is a huge deal in itself when facing that kind of issues. The smallest mistake or a series of too blunt, alien opinions, and you are going to be ostracized pretty fast ICly, if not OOCly too, if you have nobody to back you up or support you. People are usually VERY sensitive to that, like sharks when they smell blood.

Because asking people to make a clear separation between IC and OOC is a dream. Some do, but most do not always.

Eventually, I face anxiety a lot more than before, where it was almost a non issue for me.

[Ché Biko]

Are you talking stage fright, Anslol? If that's the case, then I think it will pass.
You can also train yourself to stop worrying about it when you catch yourself doing it. Like everything you practice, you'll get better at it, but it might not be easy at first.
Also, playing a character that everyone hates can have it's charms.

Lyn, I would love to offer some advise, but I think I would be mostly shooting in the dark at this point.

[Desiderya]

If people get along oocly playing rough characters is fine. It always influences the RP at least a bit - in the very least you'll get more scenes for two characters to go at each others throat/annoy the crap out of each other if the players behind the scenes are on the same wavelength. And if you get more exposition to each other you get - automatically - more character development going.

For me it's not an inability to divide IC/OOC ( And honestly, saying this as a general rule of thumb is kind of a cheap shot ) but rather the simple fact that I tend to enjoy spending time with players I know I get along with. Almost regardless of the characters involved. Almost, because while I would love to RP with Tiberious again, for example, the only scenario that would be possible with the characters involves butter, a waffle iron and explosive rounds. Also lots of tear(s).

So, on topic:
Anxiety - Yes and No. I'm not concerned OOCly about reputations or anything like this. I usually know when my character is making a mistake, and usually this simply comes from the fact that I don't hold her on a tight leash. The phrase "Dear god, woman, don't do that!" has been muttered on more than one occasion prior to hitting Enter.
Also, I'm generally having a blast when she's hitting yet another trainwreck. The last time a twist like that happened I applauded. I don't even have to plan those, they seem to appear regularily without any OOC planning or intents.
So, I'm treating this a bit like being thrilled by the continued fate of a favorite/beloved character in a TV show/Movie.

In short:
Stop worrying and enjoy organic developments. 

[Nicoletta Mithra]

Anxiety is a normal reaction. I'd say it's a good advisor, but a bad leader. As long as anxiety doesn't control your actions, you're on the good side, Anslol.

[Anslol]

Are you talking stage fright, Anslol? If that's the case, then I think it will pass.
You can also train yourself to stop worrying about it when you catch yourself doing it. Like everything you practice, you'll get better at it, but it might not be easy at first.
Also, playing a character that everyone hates can have it's charms.

No a staged fight I can handle. I love it when Anslo ends up in a shoot out or a situation where he needs to punch through some one or something to get out. It's more the mental situation where he's focused on and analyzed or something. I can't describe it. It's like he did X, and now he's being scrutinized as a whole for x, while being accused of y and z, which he didn't do and said accuser is very effective in making it look like he did. Shit like that makes me anxious and just wish it was a situation Anslo could punch out of.

[hellgremlin]

I'm probably a bad person to contribute to this thread. My existence is anxiety.

[Morwen Lagann]

I admit I wandered into this thread expecting a discussion of our characters feeling anxiety about things and how we handle it, but this is good too.

No a staged fight I can handle. I love it when Anslo ends up in a shoot out or a situation where he needs to punch through some one or something to get out. It's more the mental situation where he's focused on and analyzed or something. I can't describe it. It's like he did X, and now he's being scrutinized as a whole for x, while being accused of y and z, which he didn't do and said accuser is very effective in making it look like he did. Shit like that makes me anxious and just wish it was a situation Anslo could punch out of.

As others have said, this is a normal response and not something to get overly worried about as long as you keep it in check.

Is this an issue (for you) of becoming anxious over things that Anslo-c may not be anxious about yet, or is it an issue of his anxiety rubbing off on you and making you feel weird?

The latter isn't very uncommon in my experience when it comes to characters experiencing strong emotions - what's important is whether you respond to it as yourself or as the character.

For example, if Morwen is extremely frustrated with something, sometimes I notice a muted physical reaction in myself (could be anything - feeling slightly tenser than usual, lower back pains, stiffness in motion); if this happens I usually just take note of the reactions and use them in the RP by mirroring them to Morwen, because that's all they are - natural reactions to strong emotions.

if you're referring to the former, I find the best solution is to take a few minutes away from the RP to relax and calm down and collect your thoughts. Whether that's running around the house or grabbing a drink or something else is up to you - whatever works.

[Anslol]

...Is this an issue (for you) of becoming anxious over things that Anslo-c may not be anxious about yet...

This. Anslo (c) is very much laid back and doesn't care about what others generally may or may not think. He's 'seen some shit,' so egger opinions in general haven't mattered much.

But the opinion and judgement of eggers he cares about and respects is something very much he worries about. And in a sense, I do too. Anslo was super derp when I started in RP, but I've refined his general background into something a little odd, but nothing beyond the bounds of science and Eve lore. I guess I'm anxious that because of who Anslo is, all that work and all the people he's friends with IC is about to go down the shitter and that makes me genuinely anxious.

[Lyn Farel]

For me it's not an inability to divide IC/OOC ( And honestly, saying this as a general rule of thumb is kind of a cheap shot )

The inability to divide IC/OOC is at the very least, unconscious, for most people. Myself included, and it was only a statement of value, like I could have said "humans tend to be cruel", or "humans can be very selfless". I am not going to express the contrary since it is exactly what I feel, and think.

Sorry if it was felt like a cheap shot, since I did not mean it as an accusation of any kind.

So, on topic:
Anxiety - Yes and No. I'm not concerned OOCly about reputations or anything like this. I usually know when my character is making a mistake, and usually this simply comes from the fact that I don't hold her on a tight leash. The phrase "Dear god, woman, don't do that!" has been muttered on more than one occasion prior to hitting Enter.
Also, I'm generally having a blast when she's hitting yet another trainwreck. The last time a twist like that happened I applauded. I don't even have to plan those, they seem to appear regularily without any OOC planning or intents.
So, I'm treating this a bit like being thrilled by the continued fate of a favorite/beloved character in a TV show/Movie.


In short:
Stop worrying and enjoy organic developments. 

Like for Malcolm, it is easy to say when you have always been playing in a tigh group of people, or social milieu. I too, used to say "I'm not concerned OOCly about reputations or anything like this".

Until I went more freelance/casual, coupled with OOC conflicts. It's how it works, it's how society works. I am not the first one to have experienced that, and I understand even better how some novice players jumping clumsily on scene eagerly awaiting for good RP with all their good will and flawed IC can feel when their character gets almost instantly thrashed for life over a first unforgivable mistake. vOv

From my direct experience, the more isolated you get either OOCly, or ICly, the more you become an easy prey when it comes to popularity, the only currency for which capsuleers/players really care in that game.

[Samira Kernher]

I am anxious in RP all the time. Whether concerned about embarrassing myself by saying or doing something stupid, or because of empathy with my characters' situation.

[Rhiannon]

I used to have huge problems with this sort of thing, back when I first started roleplaying online. It took a while before I came to really "let go" with my character. I basically got to the point where I didn't want anything bad to happen to my character unless I had orchestrated it. Nothing spontaneous, no outside influence. And when such spontaneous, outsider influences happened as they inevitably will, I would get all kinds of upset and flustered, on the verge of thinking "other people" had "ruined" my character.

I've grown up a lot since then as a person and as a roleplayer, and I've learned a little bit better to just let things happen. I still struggle a bit with deliberately allowing my characters get in trouble, or going to places where trouble might happen to her. I'm still not sure how much of that is simply that I'm anti-social. The most that I do generally is allow my character to run her mouth and filter her as little as possible, particularly with regards to Rhiannon. That's just her personality though. Through time and life experience she just doesn't care anymore and doesn't bother to self-filter in 90% of cases. I'm still surprised she hasn't gotten into trouble because of it yet.

So my best advice is first, don't hold onto the character too tightly. Its a little bit like not wanting to make changes to a first draft. You have to allow yourself not to love the character too much. This will give you the emotional distance to allow :stuff: to happen, which will be what allows the character to grow and evolve and develop. Most good writing is about doing terrible things to your characters, as the author.

Second, try not to keep your character's backstory under complete wraps for too long. There's really not much point in doing a whole lot of work and preparation into a backstory and never letting it see the light of day. That's not to say you have to reveal everything right away, or even reveal everything, but rather that it shouldn't all remain blockboxed for too long. Its up to you how you want to ration out that information, in what way you want to deliver it, and who it will be revealed to. Then again, spontaneous roleplay may surprise you and force you to reveal things sooner and messier than you planned. That's where the fun begins.

[Saede Riordan]

I definitely understand character anxiety. Saede is probably (definitely) smarter then I am, which is rather difficult to play, and tends to lead to me rushing around looking for answers to things my character knows but I don't, and I constantly worry I'm not playing the character as accurately as I want to. Its less I worry about my character's IC reception, and more an issue where I worry if people are interpreting the character in a manner at least similar to how I'm trying to write her.

That said, I've never been really worried about 'making myself look bad' on an out of character level. I am what I am, its not really worth worrying about, and I have plenty of OOC friends, so its never been an issue really. Saede IC is honestly much more worried about all her webs of lies and dirty secrets coming to light then I am. There are going to be some brilliant fireworks once people realize what she's up to, and I kind of can't wait.

I think the best thing for my RP was to make sure Saede was a character I'd really have a lot of fun playing, regardless of her circumstances. I never really worry about my character getting hurt or anything. At the end of the day, unless I get banned or quit playing eve, my character is not going to get permakilled, so I just try to enjoy the universe as much as I can. If someone was to try to run me into the ground, I'd probably have a lot of fun with that RP and gameplay, so I don't worry about having RP enemies, and in fact, I find having a few good enemies who are friendly OOC make for better RP then a crap ton of IC friends.

[Sakura Nihil]

Not a lot gets me on-edge in RP-land these days.  I suppose one bright side to Sakura being a dirty, baby-eating pirate and her pretty low-profile sisters is that being unknown, shunned, or w/e doesn't mean much to them.  They have each other, they have a pre-made support group of a family that will stand by them if they get hurt or do something wrong.  After all, if they could survive for about twenty years, growing up on an iceball of a planet in lowsec, what will some harsh words by a high-and-mighty Amarrian do to them?

The only time I feel I have to be careful is when dealing with anything regarding PF.  I don't feel comfortable enough in the backstory to really weigh in on some issues, and I feel like everyone is out to prove their bona fides with a character that "totally knows the history".  It's like trying to speak around a grammar nazi, heaven forbid you say "can I have another drink?", you'll get corrected on every single thing.

Now, the bright side is that my characters can either say:

A) Fuck off, you over-educated (adjective)... this is probably the default Sakura and Eri response
B) Whatever, I really don't care about the past... this is totally the Ami response
C) (argue with them)... Akusa and Ereka would generally do this

So that basically covers me.  Still, the last thing I want to do during RP is continuously spend time dealing with these types of people.  Trying to minimize these references is best.



PS: Just remember, time heals everything, and everyone eventually forgets.