Look at it this way, a couple of guys pretending to be ersatz space lesbians and sexing each other up on the internet and finding themselves getting off on the alternative gender roles are quite unlikely be marching around town centres with "death 2 queers" and "faggots burn In hell" placards come their weekend off.
In the grand scheme of things I think that's a more significant takeaway than concerns about fake space lesbians trespassing on the sacred aura of true space lesbians with their chintzy makeup, false lashes and exaggerated sultry walks. Homophobia kills people irl, however that curse is diminished has got to be worth considering in the light of pure pragmatic enlightened self interest.
I've seen this idea thrown around a lot in regard to this topic, but it's a fallacy. Let me say, hopefully without offending any parties reading that fit the bill and do it well, that I have met some absolutely unambiguously sexist and homophobically hateful individuals who play "lesbian" characters in MMORPGS.
For example, there was an individual who I knew on WoW, god knows how many years ago, who played a bisexual (but realistically, only interested in females) night elf. He was relatively open about the fact that OOCly, he found lesbians to be perverted and self-deluded deviants, but his philosophy was that if playing one is
fun, hey, nothing wrong with that, right? With one hand he would make a carnally driven farce out of something I considered very serious, and with the other he'd contribute to an overall hostile environment for me, personally.
Portraying something in roleplay doesn't at all imply acceptance or even tolerance.
And for the record, it's not extremists "marching around town centers" and cracking peoples heads open that cause me the most grief in day to day life by a long shot. It's the far greater amount of people contributing in a thousand small ways to the subtle culture of disrespect and passive hatred. Of which the person described above is certainly one.
So you'll forgive me if I don't feel much in the way of "englightened self interest" in being completely cool with the stuff, especially when it's an instance that effects me on an individual level.
For that matter, what do the genuine lesbians in our audience make of real life trannies, transgendered and drag queens? Does the crass hyper sexualisation of feminine aspects on view offend sensibilities to a similar extent?
I'm not sure what to say about this that others haven't already than:
1. I find the comparison between someone who is playing a character on a video game that they get up and walk away from every night to someone who is commiting completely to fundementally changing their identity to correct something that brings them considerable personal misery to be a bit ludicrous, especially since they are very rarely guilty of "crass hyper sexualisation".
2. Drag queens are something completely different and do, in some small ways and on rare occasions, offend me. But explaining that would be going into feminist stuff, and this isn't really the time or the place.