Regardless of the RP and/or meta-RP crime, it is very disappointing to hear the departure of a community member. At the end of the day, this is the adult version of pretend and very little related to that justifies the driving out of a member no matter their standing.
Unfortunately, you are correct about the nature of the RP community, and like social interactions IRL, there's not much logic or consistency to it. The rules of the game are mostly arbitrary, alas. I have noticed that the RP community as a composite entity (rather than individuals) has a general inability to consider the opposing side in any sort of episodes of drama. Like with most of the Internet, there's an echo chamber effect where someone or something is unequivocally reduced to an objective of collective hate, something to rally around so that everyone may agree with one another and reinforce their social bonds.
Just look at what happens to YouTube comments that are unpopular. They're flagged as spam. As with YouTube or Reddit, the EVE RP community plays by the same rules. Conform or fight an uphill battle.