Long story short:
I have continued to try and fail to engage with the character known as Zagamesh, and increasingly due to the way he has developed I have found myself wholly unable to wear his mask and thus I noticed since the major reason I play is to RP all I've been doing recently is well, spinning ships and doing very little at all as I'm tabbed out doing other things since in order to play him as he should be I have to enter a particularly cynical, bitter and frankly depressing mindset. Now, noir is fun and all, and in truth the character is interesting to me when viewed from a distance but it's just no fun anymore logging into him on a daily basis. Unlike the gambler who doesn't know when he's too invested to quit the table, I do.
Frankly, all the SP, ISK, assets, contacts, history and reputation (Good and bad) mean little to me if I'm not deriving any enjoyment from feeling like I'm Sisyphus and rolling some mentally and emotionally unbalanced fictitious character's burdens as I spin ships all eternity. So I've cashed my chips in and let the subs lapse on Zag/Gessenier and decided to move on fully with other characters and ventures I do enjoy and all the rest be damned.
Yes, I have considered biomassing them, but I don't trust CCP to hold the names.
Yes, I could have made secret RP alts but there's always going to be this part of me that finds anything less than full disclosure as dishonest towards others (Silly, I know). Besides, if people find themselves unable to separate the player and the character in future interactions then I don't think the fault lies with me.
So hello there.
