Private Message Sent on the AI-DEV Message Boards
From: CYBERHERALD@FEDRO (USER ID:V00D00Sh3Dev1l)
Sent: YC113.05.09 01:16
To: Daave.Roial.enChast@Duvolle (USER ID: AIRogue_X_X_X)
Subject: Your future in the Artificial Intelligence industry
Attached File: Egonics Inc cross reference and analysis of [Nayette en Chast]:[Avagher Dumes]
Namas Daave,
Sakuma Ogunuchi, Capsuleer and Chief of Operations of Federal Robotics would like to offer you a job on his personal staff.
Not looking for a new job? You should be.
Federal Robotics has been watching you for weeks and our
extremely advanced data mining AI prototype
CyberHerald 9000(TM), assisted by a series of trawling worms, Spyder Scripts and a corporate level subscription to the Egonics database has allowed us to gather a considerable amount of knowledge about you, your soon to be ex-wife Nayette en Chast and soon to be ex-boss Avagher Dumes.
You are an underpaid, undersexed, 32-year-old Electronic, Mechanical, and Nanite Engineering graduate from the Center For Advanced Studies. You've been married to Nayette for six years, employed at the Duvuolle Laboratories subsidiary Archon Robotics for nine years and you are currently seven months overdue for a pay review.
Your program skills in the Intrepid Plus high-level programming language, your expertise in Multifactor Cryptomorphic lattice structures and TMR6 architecture have generated an impressive reputation on underground GalNet forums like C0d3bre4k3rs, Scripters-INc and DeathToOmegaOneFive - but does Avagher care?
I don't think so Daave. I don't think he does at all. He does not adequately appreciate you and there is a reason for this.
Federal Robotics’ CyberHerald projecet doesn't simply trawl through a boring old database looking for candidates who meet simple pre-defined variables. The
sophisticated CyberHerald entity monitors all verbal communications and both network and terminal access within FEDRO facilities to determine the companies employment needs. Once it's complied an appropriate manning matrix, it then programs and sends out onto the Galactic Network a continuous series of fresh DataBots, CyberCrawlers and self-replicating, self-teaching viruses in search of possible recruits, suppliers, and even industry rivals such as Archon Robotics.
Once we've found a potential conscript, CyberHerald determines how to motivate them using an analytical model based on the targets genealogy, socio-economic background, GalNet search background and an extensive list of other factors that a
less powerful AI simply could not handle. Once CyberHerald has determined how to motivate a desired asset, it decides on an appropriate time and method for it to make contact.
CyberHerald has determined the best way to motivate you Daave is like this:
Daave, You must be wondering why your boss Avagher Dumes always seems assign you the late shift, and surely you've noticed how your wife Nayette enChast as been so distant and cold to you lately.
What you don't know - because you don't have access to Federal Robotics CyberHerald HRmetrics
(TM) reports - is that your lying shit of a boss is sleeping with your wife.
After the completion of the current project, on which you have done most of the work during your long and lonely late night shifts - Avagher will fire you. Nayette is going to leave you for him shortly after. Attached to this message is analysis of the shopping habits of your wife and your boss recorded in the Egonics database. The data clearly shows that the two love birds have been dining at the same restaurant twice a week for the last three months and that Avagher has taken to purchasing expensive lingerie in Nayette's size. Also, Daave, note that while Archon Robotics encryption protocols are the best in the industry, Avagher's OpSec practices are not. You can verify our claims by checking his private Neocom messages for yourself using the password:
Nayette6969Ohyea!You might as well face it, Nayette is going to leave you and with the scathing eval Avagher as written in your personal record, it is unlikely that you will find an equivalent job in this industry.
But there is an alternative.
You, my friend, are the exact person Ogunuchi-haan wants on his team. (And if you aren't Federal Robotics will pay you 100,000isk to spend a week with us determining where CyberHerald's analysis went wrong)
Your obsession with decision loops, quantum information theory - which Avagher doesn't understand - is exactly the kind of trait Ogunuchi-haan is looking for in an employee. CbyerHerald's HRMetrics
(TM) algorithm predicts a 73% probability that you will synergize effectively with operations division of Ogunuchi-haan's private staff, raising to 89% if you are allowed to indulge your preference of working from home and using an avatar for personal interactions.
Federal Robotics is willing to offer a 30% pay raise to take a position on Ogunuchi-haan's staff and a bonus of 1,000,000isk if you can provide any details to the insights Archon gleaned from their research into Sleeper Drone AI Nexuses.
To claim your job, and stick it to Avagher, simply reply to this message.
Author
Topic: Rumors! Gossip! Tabloids! (Read 62128 times)