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[Korsavius]

Hi, space friends. This is an entry for the YC 118 Pod and Planet Fiction Contest. Enjoy!

(And perhaps some of you will be able to relate!)

Update 10.12.17: This submission won 1st place prize for the Humor category.

A Eulogy To My Orthruses (Orthrii?)

So, a little bit of backstory into my inspiration for writing this. As you can see by the cover art, I’m actually bad at this game. Like, really bad. I fly kitey ships despite having infinitesimally miniscule level of skill when it comes to actually keeping range on my would-be prey. Still, I try. After a recent Orthrus loss, I find myself reflecting on the meaning of life and why I like to fly certain Shiny Things™. This is my eulogy to my lost Orthruses (Orthrii?).

An ode farewell to my sweet Orthrii.
Like the brightest stars of the night you go burning up alight.
O, gone too soon, my sweet Orthrii.

How cruel the Loot Gods blessed you both,
Dank loot piñatas destined to be. Just my fucking luck.
If only cynos Tengus and Ishtars did not exist,
O, gone too soon, my sweet Orthrii.

Zooming through the horizons like a rabbit on crack,
Yet for some reason not fast enough to outrun an Ishtar.
Makes sense, I guess (not),
O, gone too soon, my sweet Orthrii.
 
Visions of paradise and being OP and leet,
How quickly fanciful dreaming comes crashing down with the light of a cyno.
Seriously, what awful timing on my part here,
O, gone too soon, my sweet Orthrii.

Sleek and smooth in all the right ways,
Curves and angles so hot as to brighten my days.
Yes, you were my Ferrari and Lamborghini in space,
O, gone too soon, my sweet Orthrii.

Beaten and battered my will turns sour,
Salty as fuck, I say I didn’t want you anyway by the end of the hour.
Truth is I lied, and I find myself saving for another,
O, gone too soon, my sweet Orthrii.

I wonder if this habit is sustainable in the long run,
But God knows how I have oh so much fun.
How long the next will last, I guess time will tell,
O, soon to be gone too soon, my next sweet Orthrus.