I've been a part of a seriously dysfunctional community or three - NWN PWs, mostly. Many of them favor a style of gameplay where it's easy to invest a lot of time and feeling into the game, especially early on, before you notice you're sharing a server with people you just can't get along with at all.
A group of people who are basically incompatible but are staying together out of little more than shared addiction is as toxic as it gets, I've found. Utterly weird rules and customs spring up in a sort of immune response to the dysfunction; cliques and factions spring up like mushrooms after rain; crazy psychodrama is the order of the day, because no matter what silly stuff happens, someone'll be trying to make it into a stick to beat the people involved with.
Realizing what was happening, and that I could simply choose to step away from it all, not participate, and come out ahead was actually a major step for me.
So, all this public wound-draining to say - yay, Backstage. Trust me, simply owning up to the occasional incompatibility is a good thing. An occasional wrist-slap or ban leaves all parties better off in the long run.