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Author Topic: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility  (Read 1159 times)

Lithium Flower

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I am sorry for the lengthy introduction, I will put it under the spoiler. Please read it only if you are interested in my thoughts about this problem :P
[spoiler]
I had a rather bad RP with one character in the past. I won't give its name full, lets just call her(him) Jo for shortness. The RP was bad, because once Jo has called my character rather explicitly "idiot", and after that my character, being a vengeful b***ch, and myself, knowing that my character was never made nor considers herself stupid, started the same tactics against Jo, however, instead of explicit attacks, trying to depict Jo as, softly speaking, not very bright. As I said, it was terrible RP.

Once I think I spoke for a second with this character OOC-ly and he looked... quite normal. I usually keep track of peoples I RP or want RP with, as many haven't yet joined common channels for roleplaying (emm... no, I don't stalk peoples, just like to know when interesting peoples log in), and the other day I noticed this character online too.

I invited him to the channel to greet him and ask where he was hiding, whether he will continue rp and how, and usual stuff, you know. Instead I got immediate bucket of dirt poured into the channel, and he left. I invited him into private conversation, but he just insulted me and closed it. I was dumbfounded. I was asking in the channel, what should I do, as I wanted to do something badly. Peoples were starting talking about my derailing, and stuff like that (well, it went places... and that character was well known derailer himself), so his outburst still remains mystery for me. The only thing I can suggest, is that he was annoyed at me because of that terrible IC interaction earlier. I was realizing, that should I start talking with him again, it would be incredibly hard not to descend to his level and keep myself from insults. As you can imagine, I was rather annoyed. I basically followed peoples advice and did nothing (except reporting him), and later forgot, thinking that character might be sold, or something like that.

However, recently I have noticed new post on IGS from this character. And now Im thinking, like in an old comedy movie with a stolen bride, the main antagonist said, that he had only two paths left: to the prosecutor, or to the marriage :D

And my two paths now are: either to try to talk with this character again, to find out which fly has bitten him, and if we could solve problems... or go full blown hostility on him (because Im simply not sure I could talk with him calmly anyway). And, as from my point of view, his hostility was caused by my IC hostility to him, simply deny him OOC interactions and treat him even OOC-ly IC-ly  :twisted: (just like I do in local a lot).

Well, I can say, that I am quite used to the insults in general, especially if I know what they give them me for. But in this case... I am a bit itching to know what happened to him, and to explain to Jo, that IC shouldn't be mixed with OOC  :) Well, I totally don't want it to be harassment. I was thinking about popping Jo, but it turned out according to his KB, he was just... a highsec miner  :roll:

Currently, I am at dilemma, again doing nothing, trying to weight variants. I don't know, can this character create content, or I will just waste time on him. How to check it? What you would do in my place?..

Thank you for reading this. Now I would like to ask you not to discuss characters here or the past actions, but rather future actions and what could or should be done in this scenario.
[/spoiler]
Okay, now imagine, you had a character, with whom you had very bad IC relations in the past. You notice this character is online, you invite this character to OOC channel to ask him, the character blows up with hatred to the channel, you contact the character with private, you say it is just OOC, and as a reply the character just showers you with explicit and dirty insults. What would be your action?
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Anyanka Funk

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #1 on: 27 Oct 2014, 18:42 »

This kind of happens to me often. I'm blocked by about a dozen roleplayers because they cannot distinguish IC from OOC. I would just keep being nice to them. Hell, I am even still nice to people that report Anyanka and got me banned!

Try to think about the situation more. Maybe they will get over it one day? We should all look at this game for what it is. A game.

And at least you get reasons or a response.  I get silence/blocked.

:feels:  :cube:
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kalaratiri

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #2 on: 27 Oct 2014, 18:57 »

May be they just don't want to talk to you and you shouldn't press the issue.

Some people just aren't interested in hearing what you have to say. Deal with it.
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Anyanka Funk

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #3 on: 27 Oct 2014, 19:07 »

K has a point. There are many ways to play the meta game. This person had interest in what you had to say at one point but now is blatantly trying to rile you up. This could possibly be yet another strawman tactic. If that is the case, there is no point in pursuing or being nice.
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kalaratiri

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #4 on: 27 Oct 2014, 19:11 »

K has a point. There are many ways to play the meta game. This person had interest in what you had to say at one point but now is blatantly trying to rile you up. This could possibly be yet another strawman tactic. If that is the case, there is no point in pursuing or being nice.

I said nothing about trying to rile Diana up, or strawmen. I said, and meant, quite simply that some people have no interest in talking to Diana. Some are more subtle in how they show it. Others respond by telling you to fuck off. That's just the way it is.
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"Eve roleplayers scare me." - The Mittani

Anyanka Funk

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #5 on: 27 Oct 2014, 19:17 »

I just said you had a point. Thanks for the flamebait but you can keep it.  :D

But to stay on topic here, I think that future commenters should actually read the OP.
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Mizhara

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #6 on: 27 Oct 2014, 19:18 »

That'd be me. Well, Jinari at any rate. Although, from what I'm told in other channels, the description you give fits quite a few people who are tired of being dragged into that channel and priv convo'd.

Suffice it to say, I left that channel for a reason and being pulled back into that shithole for no fucking reason is extremely annoying, and then when stating that quite clearly and with no uncertainty in that channel before I left again leads to more convo invites I get seriously fucking angry. This leads to you being told to fuck off and stop pestering me.

So, to elaborate upon our previous communications: Fuck off, don't pester me. It's a rather reasonable request.

... hell, nevermind that. You won't have to do anything, consider yourself blocked. That should solve everything rather nicely.
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kalaratiri

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #7 on: 27 Oct 2014, 19:30 »

I just said you had a point. Thanks for the flamebait but you can keep it.  :D

But to stay on topic here, I think that future commenters should actually read the OP.

Flamebait..? You're the one putting words into my mouth. I'm simply clarifying my statement.
I read the OP and I responded to the question at the end of it. My action would be to leave those who obviously have no interest in talking to me alone. Because why bother bothering them if all they're going to do is fire off insults at you. Far simpler for both parties to just leave well enough alone.
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Silver Night

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Re: Dealing with: OOC hostility derived from IC hostility
« Reply #8 on: 27 Oct 2014, 20:10 »

[mod]Thread locked. The answer to the op is if someone responds that way, stop contacting them, and don't bring it here where it will be considered flamebait. Incidentally (as this has come up in the past, and is related (though I don't think it applies directly to the current thread)) if someone actually blocks you IG and you try and use Backstage to circumvent it, that will get you a warning or even a ban depending on the situation. If they want to talk to you, they won't block you, and end-running it here isn't the way to get in touch with them after they do that. Again, that doesn't seem to be the situation here, but just as a heads up for those types of situations.[/mod]