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that Fiery Kernite once led to an epic bar brawl in the Syndicate, leading it to be called "Rage Stone"?

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Author Topic: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia  (Read 3858 times)

Synthia

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The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« on: 09 Nov 2013, 16:42 »

Quote from: Lord Chief Justice of the Kaztropolis Civil Court
Majesty, your judgement is required to solve a dispute in the courts.

"This Letter is Unexpected. The Details of the case are Confusing."
"Of course, Majesty"
"I shall obtain Advice, before making a Judgement"

Spoiler (hover to show)

"I have received Advice. Inform the Lord Chief Justice, that he shall receive my Judgement momentarily."
"At once, your Majesty".

Quote from: The Judgement of Queen Synthia
The Mancubine is to Repair the Fence.
Lord C is to construct a Fence or other Barrier running Parallel to the existing Fence, and maintain it, at his Expense.
Lady A and Lord C are to make a New Agreement regarding the Definition of the Boundary.
Miss B's Child is to be a Free Commoner, and shall receive an Education of their Choice. Lady A is to pay the Expense.
This is Because the Unexpected nature of the Child may be a Sign. Signs should Not be Ignored. It is Written.

"I am sure the citizens of Kaztropolis will be pleased at your judgement, Majesty"
"Yes."
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Synthia

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #1 on: 28 Feb 2014, 11:58 »

"Majesty, the Archbishop of Kaztropolis is here."
"Then, Show him In."

"Your Majesty, yesterday, as I was walking through the streets, I observed a lady purposefully drop an item on the ground, for her slave to pick up."
"I See."
"It was positively scandalous. The slave man was one of those muscly types, and did not even have a shirt on, and when he bent down, the lady was practically leering at him in a most suggestive manner!"
"!"
"I beseech you, as Empress, to take action against this unrighteous behaviour!"

To Whom it may Concern:
By Order of Queen Synthia 1, All personal assistance Slaves are to be issued Grabby Sticks in order to retrieve dropped Items from the Ground. Slaves are Prohibited from Bending Over.
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Synthia

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #2 on: 17 May 2014, 04:22 »

"KCFP! Nobody move, this is a raid!"
"All right, everyone, over here, hands on the wall"
"Oh-hoh, what's this then? Sergeant, take her away and book her. One count of wearing an Unrighteous dress."


"Majesty, the Fashion Police report that several Unrighteous dresses were recovered during raids on a number of dance halls. The suspects are in custody as we speak."
"Excellent, I shall address these Suspect Women, and Explain about the Importance of Dressing Appropriately."
"As you wish, Majesty"
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Katrina Oniseki

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #3 on: 17 May 2014, 17:31 »



synthia face.

Synthia

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #4 on: 16 Jul 2014, 13:14 »

The Ant War

"You rang the alarm bell, your Majesty ?"
"Yes. There is an Intruder. Observe."
"Ah, it is an ant, Majesty, they get into the Palace from time to time. They come from the gardens usually."
"These Incursions are Unacceptable. Summon the Chiefs of Staff."
"The Chiefs of Staff, Majesty?"
"Yes."

"These Ant Intrusions into the Palace are Unacceptable. I request Solutions. Grand Admiral, what is your Opinion?"
"I'm, err, not entirely sure anything in the Navy inventory would be of use here, your Majesty"
"I See. Field Marshal, what is your Analysis?"
"Well, I think the Admiral has forgotten the Navy has some rubber boats, I think he could set one up on the duck pond, for naval fire support."
"An Excellent Suggestion. Grand Admiral, you will command this Inflatable Boat."
"As you wish, your Majesty, however, may I point out that the Army has a fine Engineer Corps, who I am quite certain would be useful to contain the ant menace."
"Yes. Field Marshal, you will take Personal Command of the Engineers, and construct a Defensive Perimeter."
"I, err. Yes, your Majesty"

"The Grand Admiral looks quite solemn in his rubber boat on the duck pond, your Majesty."
"Yes, I believe it is because he Realises the Importance of his Duty."
"And the Field Marshal seems to be enjoying digging a trench around the palace."
"Yes. Exercise promotes Well Being. Healthy Body, Healthy Mind, Healthy Soul. It is Written."
"Indeed, your Majesty."

"There is a message from the Natural History Institute, your Majesty."
"What does it Say ?"
"It says that ants communicate with pheromones, and that they might be persuaded to move away from the Palace by careful placement of artificial ant pheromones."
"That is an Interesting Suggestion"

To Whom it May Concern:
By Order of Queen Synthia, the Armed Forces of Kaztropol will be holding a Parade, to commemorate the Victory in the Ant War.
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Arista Shahni

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #5 on: 16 Jul 2014, 14:14 »

The image of how the people of the kingdom live, I find, is particularly hilarious.

I believe the Naval Commander won out in the one-up war, as he wasn't digging ditches.
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Vieve

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #6 on: 16 Jul 2014, 18:24 »

It's a shame they aren't having a Commemorative Picnic, though quite understandable, because the ants could have left behind suicide commandos who would surely assault the Royal Watermelon.
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Arista Shahni

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #7 on: 17 Jul 2014, 00:12 »

I am sure her Majesty would not negotiate with Terrorists Ants either.  The picnic could be a Disaster.

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Synthia

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #8 on: 29 Jan 2015, 15:00 »

The Committee of Moral Decency

"Majesty, the holoreel merchants we arrested are here."
"Show them In."
"As you wish, Majesty."

"You may speak in your Defence."
"Your majesty, please, we had no idea that pornographic holoreels were illegal"
"Silence."

"I have Examined the Material that you were Attempting to Import. I find the Content Unacceptable. For example: This Scene in This Holo Film. The female Participant Here, does not appear to be Particularly Enjoying the Activity. Similarly, in this Scene in This Holo Film, the male participant Here is not Smiling."
"You're punishing us because the actors in our holoreels didn't seem to be enjoying themselves?"
"Yes."
"I, umm"
"Silence."

"For your Actions, I have Decided that an appropriate Punishment is Confiscation and Destruction of the Offensive Holoreels, and a Tax on future Importation. Holoreels must be Inspected before they may be Sold."

By the Order of Queen Synthia:
The Possession, Production, Importation or Sale of Erotic Entertainment Material in which the Participants are, in the Opinion of the Committee of Moral Decency, Not Enjoying Themselves As Much As They Should Be, is henceforth Banned from This Date Forward. All Erotic Entertainment Material must be Approved by the Committee from This Date. It is Written.
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Mitara Newelle

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #9 on: 30 Jan 2015, 09:18 »

 :lol: :P :psyccp:
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Synthia

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #10 on: 04 Apr 2015, 10:24 »

Intrigue at Court

"Majesty, here are the reports you reques... good heavens"
"What are you Doing, Chancellor ?"
"I am averting my eyes, Majesty, from your nakedness."
"I am not Naked, Chancellor. I am wearing my Jewellery."
"I err, as you wish, Majesty, may I ask why?"
"I am Seducing You, so that you will act as a Spy and report on the Intrigue at Court"
"Oh, I see now, yes, I understand. Alas, as beautiful as you are, Majesty, my tastes lie elsewhere."
"I See. Will this Compromise your ability as a Spy to report on Intrigue?"
"No, Majesty."
"Good. I expect a Report on all known Plots by the End of the Week."
"As you wish, Majesty."



"Honestly, where does she get these ideas from?"
"Historical Amarr novels, set in the Reclaiming of Athra era, I think"
"Oh, of course. That would explain it."
"So, what does she have you doing?"
"I am to compile a report on all the plots at Court."
"All of them?"
"All of them."
"My sympathies. Though, perhaps a few hundred reports on who snubbed who at whose tea party will keep the Queen busy for a while."
"One can only hope so"
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Synthia

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #11 on: 14 Nov 2015, 05:04 »

Bring your Child to Work Day

"Majesty, I bring you important news... Oh, hello Zara, is your mummy around?"
"Mummy put on clothes"
"Oh, do you know if she'll be back soon?"
"yes"

"Grrr. Arr"
"scary! heeheehee!"
"Inquisitor. Hello. Why are you on the Floor?"
"Ah, I am being a Bhaalgorn, majesty."
"Scary monster, mummy!"
"Yes, Zara, a Bhaalgorn is Scary. What brings you to the Palace, Inquisitor ?"
"Ah, another report from the Numismatic Society, about counterfeit coins, Majesty"
"I See. I shall examine the Report Carefully. Thank you. You may go."
"As you wish, Majesty"
"bye scary man"
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Kador Ouryon

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #12 on: 15 Nov 2015, 14:12 »

I am seriously considering moving to Kaztropolis. I admire a Holder who ensures her joint chiefs of staff have the fear of the ant menace installed in them.

Moreover anyone who can establish naval fire support from an inflatable rubber pool simply demands unwavering respect.
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"We ripped up the ending and the rules...and cast aside destiny...leaving nothing for us but an endless cycle of death and rebirth. Which is all well and good, except... Well, what if I've made the wrong choice? I have faith that it wasn't.....but how am I supposed to know? I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you my story.Let me tell you everything."
- [name redacted] Truest Adamance

Synthia

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #13 on: 21 Nov 2015, 13:39 »

The Committee of Public Safety

"Majesty, the committee of public safety is here, to discuss the issue of street lighting in Kaztropolis."
"Show them In."

"Majesty, we at the committee of public safety believe that the street lighting in Kaztropolis is insufficient, and allows a large amount of anti-social behaviour to occur, particularly in the slave districts."
"I See. What do you Propose ?"
"We propose the construction of many more streetlights, to illuminate the city."
"I See. I shall Discuss this with the Lord Mayor of Kaztropolis."
"Thank you, Majesty"

"Lord Mayor, it has been Brought to my Attention, that the Street Lighting in Kaztropolis is Insufficient"
"That is true in some places, Majesty, however, providing electricity to those areas is problematic. Infrastructure has a tendency to be vandalised. Malcontents stealing electricity from the lampposts and so on. Maintenance crews have also been attacked on a handful of occasions."
"I See. I shall Consider this."

"I have had an Idea."
"Yes, your Majesty ?"
"Yes. We shall construct an Orbital Laser to provide Street Lighting across Kaztropolis. This would Solve the Illumination Problem, without constructing Infrastructure that may be Vandalised by Malcontents."
"A... novel... solution, Majesty."
"Yes."
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The Scythian

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Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
« Reply #14 on: 21 Nov 2015, 13:44 »


It is an interesting style to read. I like it.

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