I was thinking a lot about it lately, and I think it is time to change my attitude towards failure. Despite I still consider them fun, sad fact, they stain reputation of my character, and not everyone will value it. One rather annoying case have opened my eyes on this.
In short, one unpleasant player agreed to roleplay with me, for me to lose. Conditions of losing were chosen by said player, and, as I understood it, implied rather humiliating (from point of view of said player) consequences, that losing party had to follow. Nevermind, I have agreed to them. Unfortunately, when the time came to RP itself, said player simply withdrawn when realized, that it required exact playing, and not receiving this result "for free". So, when I confronted character of this player with losing, I got complete denial, rivers of drama and mounds of insults (and I prefer to stop it here, no more details will be given, and I won't answer any questions about this part to prevent escalation/drama/further tears/derailing etc, unless asked in private)
I am not saying that everyone is like this. I sincerely hope that there are no other peoples like this in RP community. And I am not saying, that I will stop losing completely, and become something like "Im a kameira/duster/whatever thus you die, when i try to cut your head off with my sword/draw my gun/whatever". Instead, I will be "trading" my loss with something from your character as well. And of course, I will continue to provide "guides" how to defeat my character, if any of you will be interested, if your method won't work. Of course, for a price as well.
Otherwise, I will keep my character a hard nut and will try to make her to behave like a professional, like she should be.
Oh, and for those, whom I already promised my loss... my word remains in force, don't worry, you can defeat me without giving anything in return.
The only thing that bothers me now, is that I don't know how long I will be able to keep it this way and will break again to losing for fun on any occasion...
Onward to long road of building die hard character~~ go!