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Author Topic: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!  (Read 4887 times)

Lyn Farel

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #15 on: 08 Feb 2013, 08:31 »


*Mutters to himself why he had to be born the 9th of Feb of all days*



The number is from the last digit of your birth year, not the day.
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BloodBird

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #16 on: 08 Feb 2013, 08:48 »


*Mutters to himself why he had to be born the 9th of Feb of all days*



The number is from the last digit of your birth year, not the day.

Indeed it is... slight misunderstanding on my part.

DUST'ers vs Werewolves. Kinky, though I already had an awesome idea for 'something' this might be a tad easier.
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Lasairiona

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #17 on: 08 Feb 2013, 09:16 »

Capsuleers vs. Werewolves....hmmm, very very tempting, lmao
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Khloe

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #18 on: 08 Feb 2013, 11:53 »

Capsuleers vs. Werewolves....hmmm, very very tempting, lmao

A bunch of shirtless, bare-chested metro-sexual males against an army of immortal space lesbians? I'm breathless with anticipation!
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Saikoyu

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #19 on: 08 Feb 2013, 14:21 »

DUSTies vs Wizards...

I might try this.
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Lasairiona

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #20 on: 09 Feb 2013, 05:18 »

Capsuleers vs. Werewolves....hmmm, very very tempting, lmao

A bunch of shirtless, bare-chested metro-sexual males against an army of immortal space lesbians? I'm breathless with anticipation!

Ooooooooh, now, I have an idea.....can it be erotica? lmao!  ;)
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Stitcher

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #21 on: 09 Feb 2013, 07:58 »

There's no rule against it...  :yar:
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Lasairiona

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #22 on: 09 Feb 2013, 08:20 »

There's no rule against it...  :yar:

Hmmmmm *wheels turning*
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Lasairiona

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #23 on: 13 Feb 2013, 05:36 »

Stitcher said I should post this here, so I am! :)

"Wild Heat"

Rochelle Dasing, a Vherokior pilot, transmitted to the Vagabond flying closest to her, “I don’t like the looks of this. The planet is supposed to be uninhabited, but I’m reading humanoid lifesigns.”
Her second in command, Amadi Bello, a Brutor with an imposing figure, responded, “Come on, Commander. I’ve never known anything to strike fear in your heart. We’re just here to investigate the deaths of those pilots that were stranded here a few weeks ago.”
Rochelle sighed deeply, “I hope you’re right.” She opened up communications to the entire fleet, “We’re going in. Slowly. We don’t know what’s down there.”
The fleet landed in an open field. Arming themselves, Rochelle motioned for them to move towards the site of the murders. Amadi came up next to her, “You got that chill too, huh?”
Rochelle nodded, “Yes, I did. Something isn’t right here.” She signaled to one flank to head into some dense underbrush. Suddenly, screams erupted from the brush. Rochelle looked at Amadi as something hard came down on the side of Rochelle’s head and her world went dark.
Rochelle groggily returned to consciousness. All of the women in her party were tied to stakes, arms upraised; the men nowhere to be seen. She tugged at her bonds, cursing. A rustling came from nearby and Rochelle quickly feigned unconsciousness.
“More of them! We are no longer safe here.” The voice was gruff, almost animalistic.
“As always, I agree with you, Luka, but our leader does not.”
“I will challenge him!” The voice belonging to Luka almost howled out.
A third voice joined them, “Always talk, Luka. You know I would strike you down with one blow!” Luka whimpers. The person, thing, must have struck him, thought Rochelle.
“Now, Lupine, tell me. What have you done with the men?”
The first voice coughed, “I have done with them what we always do with the men.”
“Good. I will mark two women for myself. The rest, you may give to the others to do with as they wish.” Rochelle heard him circle round her group. One female, Sarrah, let out a small whimper. Rochelle tried to remain still as he stopped in front of her. Searing pain swept over her arm and she attempted not to cry out, but her eyes snapped open and she found herself staring up at yellow eyes. The man was hairy and muscular, “You are the commander. I will enjoy using you.” He cut her bonds with a knife and Rochelle began to struggle, but was soon overcome by a heat sweeping over her body. Her breath left her body and she fell to the ground, helpless.
He laughed, “You are mine.” He knelt down next to her, using his knife to remove her clothes until she was lying on the cold ground, naked.
Rochelle managed to gasp out, “What have you done with my men?”
“Oh, you’ll find out. For now, you’re mine.” He removed what was left of his clothing and lay down between her legs. Rochelle knew she should fight him, but the urges of her body were too intense. The creature caressed her soft breasts, plucking at the hard nipples, “It’s the heat, my pet.” He slid into her waiting body and thrust until they were both moaning with the release of passion.
“My men!” She reminded him as he reclined on top of her, trying to catch his breath.
He stared down at her, an evil look in his eyes, “You’ll meet them again soon enough.” A chorus of howls shattered the quiet.
Rochelle gazed up at the stars and waited.
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Stitcher

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #24 on: 17 Feb 2013, 18:03 »

Come on folks, it's only six hundred words...
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Sepherim

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #25 on: 20 Feb 2013, 20:33 »

Finally finished mine, here goes:

Never, Ever, Deal with a Dragon:

One came from the right and a burst made him explode in a smoke of red blood. The second was following him and tried to take cover behind a small barrier, but suffered the same fate. On the left, two targets took position behind a small wall, but a grenade from the grenade launcher took care of them.

Barely five second had passed, according to his cybernetic clock.

Jordan grinned as he tuck down behind the cover, placing the rusty red metal of the vehicle between him and more enemies incoming. His assault rifle was still hissing after the heat of those many bullets crossing the cannon in this hellish cold. But he didn’t care, it was fun! And four more enemy soldiers were to be included in his payroll. By his side, Arthur took cover as well, and started reloading his magazine.

-Pass me some ammo, I’m gonna run dry soon- said Jordan with a savage smile.

Just as Arthur was giving him a few magazines, a strong wind blew from the other side of the car they were hiding behind. Snow flakes danced with the sudden gust of air, and the floor trembled like a carrier had fallen from the skies. Jordan took a quick glance through the broken glasses of the car and there, in the middle of that forsaken Caldari street, was a dragon, just like in the movies. Must have been at least 25 meters long, maybe more, with brown dark scales and a fiery look in its yellow eyes. Its mouth let some smoke come out, as it cracked his powerful armored tail like it was a whip. And with slow motions, it analyzed its surroundings.

“Hello mortals, my name is Dunkelzahn, I’ve come to explain what’s happening…” they both could hear the dragon in their heads clearly, like their own thoughts.

-Fuck! It’s true! The legend is true!-

-What legend, Arthur? What the fuck are you talking about now?-

-The Sixth World, man! Like the ancient Mayans predicted, it has come! It’s fucking come! Yihaaa!-

“Mortals, don’t be afraid, I mean you no ill”.

-Fucking, mortals… guess what lizard? We’re not fucking mortals!-

With his cries directed at the gigantic beast, Jordan stood up behind the car and pulled his assault rifle against the dragon. One grenade, a second grenade, thirty bullets… they all started to fly through the space between them as he laughed at the sight, feeling his weapon tremble in his arm as the destructive power of mankind was unleashed.

And all he could think was, “how much will Kaalakiota pay me for a fucking over-grown lizard?”
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miyamun

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #26 on: 07 Mar 2013, 15:51 »

Mm.. I may be new and still on a trial account, but... I'm tempted to do this.  Though, it means I have to learn about the DUST mercs when I have no clue who they are, yet... rofl
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miyamun

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #27 on: 07 Mar 2013, 20:57 »

Overkill

The operations communications officer piped in on the comm.  “Packages safely delivered.  We have a go, Fox.  Multiple targets registered half a klick to the southeast, over.”

“Copy that, sexy, over,” Fox directed his squad to the southeast, switching his comm channel to local, “Keep your eyes open, ladies.  Gotta clear the area if we wanna get paid.”

“I’m scared, chief!  Debriefin’ said they can keep my mind from gettin’ sent back to my clone.  We could die!  For real!”

“Shut your yappin’, soldier, an’ get a hold o’ yourself, or I’m gonna kill you personally!”

“Yessir!”

One of the scouts ahead gestured for caution as they approached a rise.  Suddenly quiet, the whole team waited as a pair of soldiers crept over for a peek into the valley.  They waved the squad onward, moving ahead.  When Fox crested the rise, he could hardly believe the beauty of the grove housed by the valley.

Suddenly before them was a beauty unlike any of them had seen.   She bore the mythic angel’s wings and eyes a deep blue ocean, blond waves bound behind her.  With her arms outstretched, she beckoned them. 

“Welcome, oddly attired strangers, to the Whispering Woods,” she said in a voice as soft as a caress.  “I am…”

With a resounding boom, the woman was practically torn asunder by Fox’s overpowered sidearm.  A proverbial army stormed out of the woods, a motley crew of differently attired women, each evidently wielding a different unbelievable power; oh, and one man.

The battle was fierce, more fierce than Fox would have imagined considering the female army bore little to no armor or clothing.  His men weren’t accustomed to fighting enemies like these.  One of them encased his soldiers in ice, while another would entangle his men with… hair? 

“You killed my mother!”  A strange purple and pink clad woman cried in anger as she charged Fox.  He aimed for her, but, before he could fire, he was suddenly blinded by a strange light.  Following that, there was the dull thud of the woman’s staff clanging against his armor.  It, of course, did nothing to harm him.  Now that he knew where she was, he aimed in her direction and fired.

“Enough!”  A powerful voice called out.  Fox’s vision was clearing, so he was able to see the flying horse… did it have a horn on its head?... and the woman riding it.  “Leave this place,” she cried, “Or face my righteous fury!”

The woman leapt from her steed and landed in front of Fox, even as his squad began to shoot at the flying horse.  Fox aimed at her, but her sword struck his hand as he pulled the trigger.  Who fights with swords???  It did nothing to hurt him, merely shook his aim.  She struck again, and again, and again.

Fox simply stood there as she barely chipped his armor.  He chuckled at her, and she finally flung her sword down and punched him.  Fox flew fifty feet and slammed against a tree.  All humor gone, his soldiers all aimed at the woman.

Minutes later, the squad was picking over the remains of the strange army, riddled with bullets and the ash of those combusted by laser beams.  Limping, Fox leaned over to take the sparkling golden crown from the last soldier to fall when she clasped his armored glove.

“Hordak will pay for this…” she whispered with her dying breath.

“He better,” Fox replied.
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miyamun

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #28 on: 08 Mar 2013, 23:24 »

Someone please tell me they recognize the characters above.  Else, I will have to be resigned to my fate of being old. ;)
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Louella Dougans

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Re: The 600-series Crossover Fiction Comedy Contest!
« Reply #29 on: 10 Mar 2013, 16:29 »

Someone please tell me they recognize the characters above.  Else, I will have to be resigned to my fate of being old. ;)

Fabulous secrets were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: [spoiler]"For the Honour of Grayskull. I am SHE-RA!!!"[/spoiler]
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