I read. I laughed. I was horrified to realize that I could write
IC fiction about capsuleers vs. aliens.
So I did. Please do not enter this in the contest. Use it as a cautionary tale about how not to do this.
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"So, what did Colm say before he put the blaster in his mouth?" Maris Verdure asked, grateful that her ship's cook hadn't insisted on a video feed. Not that she made a habit of objecting to Kyll's video feeds, because they usually involved his showing off what he was making for her next meal.
"Oh God, oh God, we're all going to die..." Kyll replied.
"Wait, I thought he was Minnie..."
"...and then he exploded. Yeah, he
was Minnie. Now he's just a big freaking mess all over my mess, and that
thing's off loose..."
"Wait. What thing?"
"The thing!"
"Slow down, Kyll ... What. Thing?"
"The thing that came out of him after he exploded!"
"So what you're telling me is that we've got a thing that exploded out of Colm that's now somewhere loose on my ship?"
"Yeah, if it ain't one freaking thing around here, it's another, ain't it? Jaak's trying to track it…"
So, not only did Maris have a deadly
thing on board, she had an excuse for her bodyguard to remember he was an Angel, not just a babysitter. And she had half a cargohold full of refugees and the other half full of Quafe... "Kill. Me. Now."
"Uh, Maris?"
"Never mind. Putting in a slight course correction."
"Where we going?"
"Jita. Assuming we don't get smart bombed on the Perimeter gate, I'm going to park on the other side and dump the hard cargo."
"You think that'll get rid of the problem?"
"No, but it might make it a problem for some asshole to have to figure out."
"I'm so proud of you," Jaak said. Maris didn't even bother wondering if he'd been listening in this entire time, mostly because he was already chuckling. "My little bioterrorist…"
"Shut up, Jaak..."
"So, I wonder which you'll get busted for? Dumping the dangerous life form, or dumping the Quafe?"
"It's for
a good cause!" she growled.