Curse this wretched holiday, and everyone who participates in it - especially the tidal waves of repulsive, grubby children that besiege my house, expecting free sucrose treats for dressing up like a pack of pint-sized cretins.
Our house, and indeed our street, has long held that we will not give sweets to the little bastards at all. This is due to having our houses egged over a decade ago. Sorry, you sticky little shits, the generation that came before you ruined it for you all. And yet, new children continue being born, each new spoor more loathsome than the last, and inevitably a few gaggles of them make the trip down our street, pounding on doors even though the lights are out, the curtains are drawn, and not so much as a single cardboard skeleton or carved pumpkin is visible to indicate that we're willing to share in the merriment. Fuck Halloween.