Frankly, I dont get the drama of "omg i cant attend such-and-such festival".
Two points, RP should be about portraying a character with coherent motivations, values, passions, and concerns. "RP" is not, in fact, always just chatting in a chat channel at the latest social gathering. Sometimes, not showing up at an event is much more "RPing" than attending. Its playing a role, and sometimes playing that role consistently and realistically means that things will happen with you not being there.
But then people say, "but, wait, I want to go to the parties!" Thats great. Make an alt. If you want "party RP", but feel "left out", then make an alt that isnt burdened by the kinds of loyalties and principles that keep him or her locked out of such-and-suchs really cool party.
What people seem to want to do is have their cake and eat it too. They want to declare loyalties and allegiances, then get upset when people actually react to them like their hold those views and associations. They want to create a character with a living history in EVE, but then get upset when people hold them accountable for that history. They want to claim to be loyal to a set of beliefs or a people, but then break bread with the people who are attacking those people for the sake of "well, without it, I get no RP" No, you just might not get much RP with that character. They, the player, actually can RP, they just want it on a very specific character, which is often an unrealistic request.