Cheers guys, it's always nice to be missed.
Just to confirm Esna's comments, I was definitely not thrown overboard. Truth be told, I needed a break because I wasn't giving things the effort I should've. I'd go into it, but hopefully it's enough just to say that the Arek'Jaalan project slid into lethargy almost entirely because of my own failings. While it's also true that certain things frustrated me at CCP, overwhelmingly I just needed the break.
Anyways, I've no idea if I'll be back, or even play EVE again. It's a bit hard for me to consider right now. Who knows though, right?
I wanted to come here and say that I feel, despite my absence (and the risk it puts the A'J event in) you guys are still in solid hands. Gnauton and Abraxas are two consistently solid dudes, and they have all my love and respect. Delegate Zero is basically a much smarter copy of me with all the bad bits removed, so he's even more solid than I, and once CCP lets him flex a bit more on the storyline (he actually works in webcell so it's a bit removed from him, technically, but he "gets" EVE and it's lore like few others do) I think he'll produce shit ten times cooler than I could imagine. Also, as I was on the way out, events were broadening in the company to include more people than just myself and Headfirst too, and I'm glad to see that wasn't just a flash in the pan and that other devs are actually stepping in, like Affinity and Co. (like 'Brax and Gnauton, she's also good people, so be nice to her
).
Storyline-wise, all of us who gave a damn about it really felt that despite the layoffs and everything else we were actually positioned to do more than ever before, so take my leaving as a case of really fucked up timing, not as any kind of indicator. Most of the guys I worked closely with were like "Dude, you're leaving NOW?!".
Regarding AJ, maybe they won't go full retard like I did (and that's probably a good thing), but I think they'll put on a solid show all the same. And if they decide to leave A'J aside and start fresh, don't be mad at them. Place all the blame for any hanging threads and unresolved mysteries and any other A'J related problems on this burned out bear's head. I'm just sorry I couldn't wrap things up better. I honestly didn't have the heart to log in and say Tukoss' goodbyes, let alone carry the day-to-day like I should've been.
Anyways, I imagine to them the whole AJ thing is a burden they're not sure if they want to carry. They're in the shitty situation of being unable to say "Look, this was Dropbear's baby and it's all a bit fucking complex and in-depth and we don't know if he should even have started something like this in the first place."
Try to understand that situation, especially if they do decide to go with a clean slate. That's all I can ask. From where I sit, I left them with a big pile of responsibility, and they're the ones who'll take some of the heat if things fall through. I wouldn't want that for them, or events in general.
Oh, yeah, please feel free to pass this on to other A'J crew and whatnot. I know this forum only reaches a few of you.
Finally, I never really got to say this at the time I was leaving, but yeah, it was an honor to (role)play with you guys. Easily the hardest thing about leaving my job was stepping back from A'J, the forums, and just the EVE community in general. I still read these forums more than is good for me, so to avoid becoming further addicted I'll probably leave this post as my first and last but...yeah, you guys were always fucking epic and my main motivator to work harder, care more (and old CCP motto).
So much <3