Just a quick note here, I'm not even touching upon the pure mechanics of infiltration and whether or not it's an acceptable thing to do. My own view on the matter is that fuck yes it's acceptable and part of the game, but that's not what this particular post is about.
Using Jade's scenario as an example, since it actually happened:
Misan used an alt to make off with... what was it, two towers? SF shot up the neutral alt and there was RP around it since it was a neutral hauler. Now, why couldn't all this be an IC infiltration and theft? Misan did what he did, stealing the towers and so on with the use of an alt. SF realized this and shot up the alt and got an IC reaction for shooting neutrals. A perfectly valid IC scenario is to just go "SF identified the neutral as a hostile agent, most likely in Misan Pal'taek's employ, and shot him.". There's questioning on the matter and there's questioning of RoE, and all kinds of fun things going on around it.
Just like if PIE realized Katashi was my alt and spotted him taking down towers or whatever, then shot him up and issued a statement about Katashi being a paid agent working for Mizhara. Then... well, again pulled out of my ass, Lyn Farrel of KotMC rolls up and goes "Hey, wait a minute. Katashi was not only neutral, he was part of your corporation and could have had a perfectly good reason for being there. Why did you guys shoot and kill an innocent? I demand proof!" and there's fun to be had around that stuff.
How is shooting down a tower and stealing shit from corp hangars that much different? Or any of the other nasty, painful and expensive acts of hostility we can do to each other in-space and in-game so much different, just because it's not a direct fight? Or for that matter, dissemination of classified intel and so on?
My point is... it's all still IC. It's all still RP. Hell yes it can be shady, and downright underhanded, but it's still RP and even RP that's perfectly suited for New Eden's insanely dark and twisted universe. I'll go ahead and say that sure, you can go to decent lengths to avoid OoC information being used and so on, but most of said information is In Character simply by dint of affecting other players in Eve.
Secondly, I really don't see why RPers should somehow be immune to what's done to non-RP entities in Eve all the time and for less reason than our IC hostilities and reasons.