tl;dr : We need to choose more neutral words when referring to what we see as "bad behaviour" if we're interested in building a healthy RP Community.
I wanted to post a little bit about the language that we use when roleplaying and when talking to one another. This is wholly out of context and has nothing to do with how our characters talk to one another, just how we as players talk to one another.
The words we choose are important for two reasons. Firstly, because words themselves have many meanings, and if we aren't careful we can make a situation difficult by choosing them poorly. Secondly, because it's pretty much the only medium we all share here, so there's nothing else to go on. Our words comprise our body language and tone, so we've got to be really careful about which ones we decide to use.
It's a heavy subject, so I'm just going to pick one right now. "Circlejerk". I've been through a few RP communities before, but this is my first one from an MMO, and it's also my first time encountering the term. We use it as a derogatory term to describe little insular circles of people egging one another on, reinforcing negative things, and generally bad people behaving badly.
It's a very crass word - intentional, no doubt, meant to shock. I also think it's a destructive and derogatory word that only makes the situation worse, as it's a negative word used to describe perfectly normal and natural social processes. I'll explain what I mean by that.
In a large group of people such as our Community, there will no doubt be people who don't get along for some reason or another - people are going to get offended or hurt. This is normal and to be expected. People react to this in different ways depending on their nature. Some people don't tend to take offenses and slights personally, they just shrug it off and keep going. +1 to them.
Other people, however, are more empathic, and tend to take it more personally. This can be a great thing - these people tend to try to help others more readily, show more understanding and concern, and try to take criticism positively by incorporating the outside opinions into their worldview. +1 to them also.
When these people are hurt or offended, however, they have a harder time just ignoring it - that's not how they socialize. It has to come out. Ideally this would be returned to the offender somehow, but social situations and personal affectations can make this difficult or ill-advised. So, what do these people do? They turn to their friends for support and comfort. The "circle jerk" is nothing more than friends trying to help one another out. This is, as they say, what friends are for.
By calling it this derogatory term, we assign guilt to these people, who are just trying to cope with stress by talking to their friends. This makes them less apt to reach out from their group, making them feel more isolated and only exacerbating the problem. In this manner, the Community gets a little bit more fragmented, people become a little less inclined to want to talk outside of their circles, and we lose a little more sunshine.
I think we need to stop using so many negative terms to describe natural socialization. We need to describe things neutrally, *especially* when we're talking about behaviours we think are bad. This Community won't get any better until we start trying to strengthen the bridges between our little islands, and choosing our words more carefully seems a very reasonable first step.
And as an addendum, yes. I'm one of the latter types of people who tends to reach out to friends when under stress.
Opinions?
I agree mostly.
And since we are about more honest and diplomatic approaches, may I suggest that you directly call me for using the term you mention instead of remaining vague and passive-aggressive like that ? This, too, is difficult to cope with, and I hope you will understand. Just tell me what you think of it, with respect and calm words as you are able to do (shown here), instead of beating around the bush. This only helps people feel targeted and only gets frustrating/unto the nerves of the other.
So yes, I chose to use the circle jerk term this precise, particular time instead of echo-chamber, which is a lot less derogatory. Usually, I use the latter, but it seems usually not to make my point across. Actually, I have noticed that on the internet, everything tends to be magnified to an extreme degree and prejudice where only very strong and offensive words have a real impact. Thus, most of the rest, especially polite wordings when trying to make a point, lose their meaning quite rapidly and become bland, which is a shame. Thus, why I tried to kick the hornet nest and use circle jerk, for once. Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was right. At least, it provoked something, which would have probably not be the case with "echo chamber", which is unfortunate.
Funny thing is that it was one the first times I used it, and immediately got called upon it. Maybe because people are not used to read this of me ? Or totally coincidental, even where a lot of other people use it on a consistent basis ?
Anyway, I think - and I hope I am right - that I remain mostly polite when addressing other players. Of course, I know that I am not the most diplomatic of people since I have to cope with a language barrier, and also because I tend to quickly speak sharply and to the point, and I am sorry if it offends people from time to time.
Also, circlejerks or echochambers are not so harmless than you think, in my opinion. There is a reason why articles around these phenomenons are quite extensive. So, yes, they stem from a natural process arising in most communities, and that's normal and expected. However, they quickly tend to have a very detrimental effect at times, and the real issue is that unless you are the one struck into the issues it causes, people usually never really understand it until it happens to them. I, for one, am not really concerned by this. But now I can recognize it when I see it. It is, also, to a certain extent, what happened to CG, even if a lot of other factors were involved.
Circlejerk/echochamber =/= group of friends. It bears a lot more in itself. It's a negative term for a reason.
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