It makes a world of difference how you word things. If I say "ya'll a bunch pretentious cunts and I hate the majority of you motherfuckers." instead of "An interesting collection of individuals I have sometimes differing opinions with." Message is the same, but how I put it into words has a very different effect on the whole, the latter far less antagonizing.
Vince, those two phrases do not convey the same idea by any stretch of imagination, and using the second when you really mean the first is little more than watering down what you really think in order to spare the offending party's feelings.
That said, I only consider a circlejerk to be a problem when the circle in question occupies, in reality or perception, a higher rung on the social ladder, thus poisoning the opinions of everyone below them against the folks the circlejerk chooses to spooge all over. There are circlejerks that I abhor because they are formed by the elitist clique that ends up socializing just about every new player that passes through the de facto RP gateways in EVE. There are circlejerks that I find absolutely harmless, as they haven't even a tangential impact on anyone's socialization outside of their own group. In either case, avoiding them generally works just fine.
Honestly, I've got much better things to do than worry about whether a bunch of people that I don't like are speaking well (or neutrally) of me or not. I think they're a bunch of schmucks, too, and being open (and perhaps harsh) about our mutual dislike is exactly what provides the necessary social signals to know friend from foe and whom to avoid. If they're out there telling people who don't know me not to play with me, and said people buy into their hostility without making a personal evaluation, that's not my problem; the newbie who jumps on the bandwagon is the one missing out. Likewise, if I speak ill of someone that I can't stand, the third party is still free to go and make their own assessment.
I couldn't possibly care less what words people use. The ones who might enforce some sort of speech code, if there were one, are the very clique jerking away in a circle that I find disagreeable anyway, so I would expect my speech to be strictly regulated while negative speech directed at me would be just fine and dandy. The circlejerk police, so to speak, would be the most appalling circlejerk of all.
[mod]Do not use derogatory terms in reference to other players. Rule 3. [/mod]
