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[Desiderya]

I've always used it haan/haani, and so has Ken as far as I recall. In the end, whenever we've discussed the language stuff and the slight differences done by various people (intentional or unintentional) it boiled down to:
Dialects. vOv

[Ciarente]

Absolutely, it's a big cluster etc, and I had no intention of suggesting otherwise, just pointing out that there are differing OOC sources and at least one (and no doubt many other) understandable IC explanations.

[Mithfindel]

Could even be part of corporate culture, some corporations emphasizing gender equality more than others. After all, if my understanding is correct, "modern Napanii" is essentially a reconstructed language (much in the way of our IRL understanding of "Classical Latin" and Hebrew). Some dialects might even make a distinction whether the person mentioned is married or not (like, say, Russian surnames).

In some cases, one of these forms might be the default if unsure - and this might lead to eventually dropping off the use of the others. (Several languages have this with "mister" and equivalent terms.) Some kind of a variation of this might be the armed forces' custom of calling all women "ma'am" regardless of whether they're married or not - at least in Finland, "rouva" (Mrs.) is always used of a female soldier. Which is funny in the case of 18 year old conscripts. ("Fastest way to become a Mrs. is to join the Army!")