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EVE-Online RP Discussion and Resources => EVE Fiction + Fiction discussion => Topic started by: Synthia on 09 Nov 2013, 16:42

Title: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 09 Nov 2013, 16:42
Quote from: Lord Chief Justice of the Kaztropolis Civil Court
Majesty, your judgement is required to solve a dispute in the courts.

"This Letter is Unexpected. The Details of the case are Confusing."
"Of course, Majesty"
"I shall obtain Advice, before making a Judgement"

[spoiler]
Quote
Synthetic Cultist > Politics is Convoluted. There is a complex Political situation in Kaztropolis. I am Perplexed.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Oh? Perhaps I can be of some aid.
 orion scimatarii > "May I be of assistance Synthia?"
 Synthetic Cultist > Yes. It is Confusing, Tiberious.
 Synthetic Cultist > Tiberious, Orion, the Situation that is Perplexing me relates to an Issue in the Kaztropol Civil Court.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Go on.
 orion scimatarii > "Please, carry on."
 Synthetic Cultist > A Mancubine, belonging to Lady A, a Holder, escaped through a Poorly Maintained Fence, and seduced and impregnated Miss B, a wealthy Commoner, whose Holder is Lord C. I have Obscured the Names for Legal Reasons.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Of course.
 orion scimatarii > "Of course, it is only fair."
 Synthetic Cultist > Lady A, claims that the Child should be Her property, because the father is her mancubine. Miss B claims the Child as her own, because she is the child's Mother. Lord C states that as Miss B is not a Holder, she may not own slaves. Lord C also states that the Fence is clearly Lady A's responsibility, which Lady A denies Most Strongly.
 Innocent Mind > Cut Lady A and Lord C in half. Its the only fair thing.
 Synthetic Cultist > Miss B also states Lady A owes her Compensation as the mancubine clearly seduced Miss B under False Pretences.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > I am not well versed in Kastropolan court protocol.
 Synthetic Cultist > I am Perplexed by This.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > First:  Is there property law, and if so is the fence legally Lady A's property?
 orion scimatarii > "The child, belongs to the mother as mother and offspring. the Mancubine must of course, pay off his debt as Miss B declares. It is his debt he has wrought himself, he must work it off."
 Tiberious Thessalonia > If so, it is her responsibility to maintain the fence.
 Urisuma Insaiji > Clean hands surely comes into action against Lady A, her property committed an offence which she should not have allowed therefore she is not legally able to demand the child, which really should be given to the mother as compensation for the offence.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > The Mancubine is a slave and hence is likely not allowed to own property, and has no social standing, so the child is Miss B's as the Mancubine is a non-person (This may not be the case) The fate of the child then rests on the idea of whether a wealthy commoner is considered property of their holder.
 Vincent Pryce > Execute the mancubine, abort the child and have Lady A fix her fence.
 Urisuma Insaiji > A commoner is a tennant not property. And the child legally does not have to be property due to it's mother.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Urisuma, that depends on the specific laws of Kaztropol.
 Urisuma Insaiji > True, I was assuming they would be similar to Amarr standard law
 orion scimatarii > "No, the child stays with Miss B as compensation for the fence of ill repair, which is Lady A's duty to maintain her own land and property."
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Thats not much compensation "Here, you get to take care of this person for the next 20 years.  Good luck!"
 Urisuma Insaiji > She wants the child, so I do not think it unreasonable to let her keep it as at least part of compensation.
 Synthetic Cultist > The Law of Kaztropol is Complex.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > I think most of us are in agreement that the child is Ms. B's, and the question comes down to whether she is property or simply owes fealty to Lord C. And assuming that the poorly maintained fence is Lady A's property, it then comes down to the previous as to whom she owes financial consideration to.
 Synthetic Cultist > I See.
 orion scimatarii > "Hmmm, alright then, how about this; Miss B keeps child and receives money enough to pay for the childs upbringing from Lady A, Miss B is not a Holder, true, she may hire the Mancubine for the duration of the childs life as a servant. Again Lady A pays.
 Tiberious Thessalonia > So get out the property lawyers and start determining ownership. That may be fair but it may not be just, Orion. It depends on the laws.  Get out the lawyers, Synthia.
 orion scimatarii > "I try to be fair in all ways. Please do tell me where I am going wrong so we can ammend this."
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Lady A may not owe Miss B. any money. She may owe the money to her holder. At that point it is up to Lord C as to whether he will follow through with the noble obligation.
 orion scimatarii > "I see your wisdom in these matters."
 Tiberious Thessalonia > What is Just and what is Fair are not always the same. But "fairness" is a very poor operating policy for a society. Justice, on the other hand, can be a very good one.
 orion scimatarii > "I try and align toward more fairness. I'm a bit too soft for the courts it seems."
 Tiberious Thessalonia > The other option is to go the tyranny route
 Synthetic Cultist > The Tyranny Route ?
 Tiberious Thessalonia > And punish all four people involved, and take the baby to be trained as some sort of elite super bodyguard.
 orion scimatarii > "Or just, y'know, put all four into an arena, with weapons and have them all go gladiator on each other. Atleast have some amusement with the Tyrany route Tibs."
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Oh no,; amusement is not the point of the tyranny route
 orion scimatarii > "Fair point. But there have been many Tyrants to be amused at the suffering of others in such a public display."
 Tiberious Thessalonia > Oh sure, but the point is fear.  I think if I were to head that route the #1 thing I would want to portray myself as feeling annoyance.
[/spoiler]

"I have received Advice. Inform the Lord Chief Justice, that he shall receive my Judgement momentarily."
"At once, your Majesty".

Quote from: The Judgement of Queen Synthia
The Mancubine is to Repair the Fence.
Lord C is to construct a Fence or other Barrier running Parallel to the existing Fence, and maintain it, at his Expense.
Lady A and Lord C are to make a New Agreement regarding the Definition of the Boundary.
Miss B's Child is to be a Free Commoner, and shall receive an Education of their Choice. Lady A is to pay the Expense.
This is Because the Unexpected nature of the Child may be a Sign. Signs should Not be Ignored. It is Written.

"I am sure the citizens of Kaztropolis will be pleased at your judgement, Majesty"
"Yes."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 28 Feb 2014, 11:58
"Majesty, the Archbishop of Kaztropolis is here."
"Then, Show him In."

"Your Majesty, yesterday, as I was walking through the streets, I observed a lady purposefully drop an item on the ground, for her slave to pick up."
"I See."
"It was positively scandalous. The slave man was one of those muscly types, and did not even have a shirt on, and when he bent down, the lady was practically leering at him in a most suggestive manner!"
"!"
"I beseech you, as Empress, to take action against this unrighteous behaviour!"

To Whom it may Concern:
By Order of Queen Synthia 1, All personal assistance Slaves are to be issued Grabby Sticks in order to retrieve dropped Items from the Ground. Slaves are Prohibited from Bending Over.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 17 May 2014, 04:22
"KCFP! Nobody move, this is a raid!"
"All right, everyone, over here, hands on the wall"
"Oh-hoh, what's this then? Sergeant, take her away and book her. One count of wearing an Unrighteous dress."


"Majesty, the Fashion Police report that several Unrighteous dresses were recovered during raids on a number of dance halls. The suspects are in custody as we speak."
"Excellent, I shall address these Suspect Women, and Explain about the Importance of Dressing Appropriately."
"As you wish, Majesty"
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Katrina Oniseki on 17 May 2014, 17:31
(http://i.imgur.com/KCRGSx3.png)

synthia face.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 16 Jul 2014, 13:14
The Ant War

"You rang the alarm bell, your Majesty ?"
"Yes. There is an Intruder. Observe."
"Ah, it is an ant, Majesty, they get into the Palace from time to time. They come from the gardens usually."
"These Incursions are Unacceptable. Summon the Chiefs of Staff."
"The Chiefs of Staff, Majesty?"
"Yes."

"These Ant Intrusions into the Palace are Unacceptable. I request Solutions. Grand Admiral, what is your Opinion?"
"I'm, err, not entirely sure anything in the Navy inventory would be of use here, your Majesty"
"I See. Field Marshal, what is your Analysis?"
"Well, I think the Admiral has forgotten the Navy has some rubber boats, I think he could set one up on the duck pond, for naval fire support."
"An Excellent Suggestion. Grand Admiral, you will command this Inflatable Boat."
"As you wish, your Majesty, however, may I point out that the Army has a fine Engineer Corps, who I am quite certain would be useful to contain the ant menace."
"Yes. Field Marshal, you will take Personal Command of the Engineers, and construct a Defensive Perimeter."
"I, err. Yes, your Majesty"

"The Grand Admiral looks quite solemn in his rubber boat on the duck pond, your Majesty."
"Yes, I believe it is because he Realises the Importance of his Duty."
"And the Field Marshal seems to be enjoying digging a trench around the palace."
"Yes. Exercise promotes Well Being. Healthy Body, Healthy Mind, Healthy Soul. It is Written."
"Indeed, your Majesty."

"There is a message from the Natural History Institute, your Majesty."
"What does it Say ?"
"It says that ants communicate with pheromones, and that they might be persuaded to move away from the Palace by careful placement of artificial ant pheromones."
"That is an Interesting Suggestion"

To Whom it May Concern:
By Order of Queen Synthia, the Armed Forces of Kaztropol will be holding a Parade, to commemorate the Victory in the Ant War.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Arista Shahni on 16 Jul 2014, 14:14
The image of how the people of the kingdom live, I find, is particularly hilarious.

I believe the Naval Commander won out in the one-up war, as he wasn't digging ditches.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Vieve on 16 Jul 2014, 18:24
It's a shame they aren't having a Commemorative Picnic, though quite understandable, because the ants could have left behind suicide commandos who would surely assault the Royal Watermelon.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Arista Shahni on 17 Jul 2014, 00:12
I am sure her Majesty would not negotiate with Terrorists Ants either.  The picnic could be a Disaster.

Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 29 Jan 2015, 15:00
The Committee of Moral Decency

"Majesty, the holoreel merchants we arrested are here."
"Show them In."
"As you wish, Majesty."

"You may speak in your Defence."
"Your majesty, please, we had no idea that pornographic holoreels were illegal"
"Silence."

"I have Examined the Material that you were Attempting to Import. I find the Content Unacceptable. For example: This Scene in This Holo Film. The female Participant Here, does not appear to be Particularly Enjoying the Activity. Similarly, in this Scene in This Holo Film, the male participant Here is not Smiling."
"You're punishing us because the actors in our holoreels didn't seem to be enjoying themselves?"
"Yes."
"I, umm"
"Silence."

"For your Actions, I have Decided that an appropriate Punishment is Confiscation and Destruction of the Offensive Holoreels, and a Tax on future Importation. Holoreels must be Inspected before they may be Sold."

By the Order of Queen Synthia:
The Possession, Production, Importation or Sale of Erotic Entertainment Material in which the Participants are, in the Opinion of the Committee of Moral Decency, Not Enjoying Themselves As Much As They Should Be, is henceforth Banned from This Date Forward. All Erotic Entertainment Material must be Approved by the Committee from This Date. It is Written.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Mitara Newelle on 30 Jan 2015, 09:18
 :lol: :P :psyccp:
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 04 Apr 2015, 10:24
Intrigue at Court

"Majesty, here are the reports you reques... good heavens"
"What are you Doing, Chancellor ?"
"I am averting my eyes, Majesty, from your nakedness."
"I am not Naked, Chancellor. I am wearing my Jewellery."
"I err, as you wish, Majesty, may I ask why?"
"I am Seducing You, so that you will act as a Spy and report on the Intrigue at Court"
"Oh, I see now, yes, I understand. Alas, as beautiful as you are, Majesty, my tastes lie elsewhere."
"I See. Will this Compromise your ability as a Spy to report on Intrigue?"
"No, Majesty."
"Good. I expect a Report on all known Plots by the End of the Week."
"As you wish, Majesty."



"Honestly, where does she get these ideas from?"
"Historical Amarr novels, set in the Reclaiming of Athra era, I think"
"Oh, of course. That would explain it."
"So, what does she have you doing?"
"I am to compile a report on all the plots at Court."
"All of them?"
"All of them."
"My sympathies. Though, perhaps a few hundred reports on who snubbed who at whose tea party will keep the Queen busy for a while."
"One can only hope so"
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 14 Nov 2015, 05:04
Bring your Child to Work Day

"Majesty, I bring you important news... Oh, hello Zara, is your mummy around?"
"Mummy put on clothes"
"Oh, do you know if she'll be back soon?"
"yes"

"Grrr. Arr"
"scary! heeheehee!"
"Inquisitor. Hello. Why are you on the Floor?"
"Ah, I am being a Bhaalgorn, majesty."
"Scary monster, mummy!"
"Yes, Zara, a Bhaalgorn is Scary. What brings you to the Palace, Inquisitor ?"
"Ah, another report from the Numismatic Society, about counterfeit coins, Majesty"
"I See. I shall examine the Report Carefully. Thank you. You may go."
"As you wish, Majesty"
"bye scary man"
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Kador Ouryon on 15 Nov 2015, 14:12
I am seriously considering moving to Kaztropolis. I admire a Holder who ensures her joint chiefs of staff have the fear of the ant menace installed in them.

Moreover anyone who can establish naval fire support from an inflatable rubber pool simply demands unwavering respect.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 21 Nov 2015, 13:39
The Committee of Public Safety

"Majesty, the committee of public safety is here, to discuss the issue of street lighting in Kaztropolis."
"Show them In."

"Majesty, we at the committee of public safety believe that the street lighting in Kaztropolis is insufficient, and allows a large amount of anti-social behaviour to occur, particularly in the slave districts."
"I See. What do you Propose ?"
"We propose the construction of many more streetlights, to illuminate the city."
"I See. I shall Discuss this with the Lord Mayor of Kaztropolis."
"Thank you, Majesty"

"Lord Mayor, it has been Brought to my Attention, that the Street Lighting in Kaztropolis is Insufficient"
"That is true in some places, Majesty, however, providing electricity to those areas is problematic. Infrastructure has a tendency to be vandalised. Malcontents stealing electricity from the lampposts and so on. Maintenance crews have also been attacked on a handful of occasions."
"I See. I shall Consider this."

"I have had an Idea."
"Yes, your Majesty ?"
"Yes. We shall construct an Orbital Laser to provide Street Lighting across Kaztropolis. This would Solve the Illumination Problem, without constructing Infrastructure that may be Vandalised by Malcontents."
"A... novel... solution, Majesty."
"Yes."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: The Scythian on 21 Nov 2015, 13:44

It is an interesting style to read. I like it.

Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 07 Dec 2015, 11:09
The Kaztropolis Imperial Cyberpsychology Institute

"Ah, excellent, our newest member the team is arrived. Welcome, Doctor"
"Thank you, I'm excited to be here."
"Good, good, now, we'll give you the tour."

Some time later

"So, that's the simpler research that we do, and now, to meet our star patient. And here she is, her Majesty herself."
"Good heavens, what am I looking at ?"

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d7/8-cell.gif/220px-8-cell.gif)

"Well, we're not sure, I'm afraid. That's where our research comes in. The Queen herself is not sure either, but believes understanding it is important for her project."
"She doesn't know what it is ?"
"No, unfortunately, so much of her mind defies explanation. That pattern though, appears when she is thinking about religious matters."
"I see... what's happening ?"

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d6/8-cell-orig.gif)

"Ah, she must be talking with the Archbishop about something."
"You can tell that from the pattern?"
"Sort of, the Queen provides us with an itinerary of her meetings at Court, and a log of some of her thoughts. You come to recognise certain patterns."

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f4/24-cell.gif)

"That must be quite some discussion then."
"Indeed."
"Does this mean we can read the Queen's thoughts ? Isn't that violating her privacy ?"
"Oh, we can't directly read them, and she has given us permission to look at this part of her brain. She believes it would provide information vital to Reclaim the Drone regions, by civilising the drone AIs there"
"Interesting."

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f9/120-cell.gif)

"So, we study the patterns, compare them with the Queen's logs, and then we'd know what pattern relates to what thoughts... how does that help ?"
"Ah, well, if and when the Navy manages to retrieve potential converts, then, by looking at their patterns, then we would be able to tell what they are thinking, allowing either ourselves or the Queen to communicate with them."
"Do you think it will work ?"
"It is why her Majesty set up this Institute. Our mission is to look after her mental health, and to assist her research."
"I understand. Oh, what's happening now ?"

(https://media.giphy.com/media/13Fm7BcXtVvvs4/giphy.gif)

"Ah, she must have finished her conversation with the Archbishop. This pattern relates to reading the Intergalactic Summit"
"The Queen reads the Summit ?"
"Yes. She believes there is much useful information there."

(http://wax-science.fr/wp-content/uploads/tumblr_mzeuqxiPDE1qzt7d8o1_500.gif)

"I'm not sure on that, those capsuleers have some strange ideas."
"Well, that's true, oh did you see that ?"

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/72/Plasmalamp.gif)

"What was it, does it mean something ?"
"Someone wrote a pun on the Summit."
"Is that bad ?"
"No, the Queen likes puns."
"I see, well, this is all exciting, I'm sure I'll enjoy working here."
"I hope so. Welcome aboard."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 11 Feb 2016, 13:26
The Amazing Maze

"this way mummy!"
"Yes."
"we're lost !"
"We can Work our way Out, Zara, by Exploring."
"Yay!"

"Excuse me, your Majesty, but I have received word that your visitors are on their way."
"That is Good to Know. When will they be Arriving ?"
"Within an hour or so."
"That is quite Soon. Have Lord Admiral Arkaral meet them."
"As you wish, Majesty."
"When they reach the Palace, have them Shown through the Garden. I should have Escaped the Maze by Then."
"Escaped... ?"
"Yes. Zara and Myself are currently Trapped within the Amazing Maze."
"I... see... your Majesty."
"If Necessary, I can Expedite our Escape by connecting to the Kaztropolis Weather Satellite Network."
"As... you... wish, your Majesty."
"Excellent."

"The guests are to be brought to the gardens, Her Majesty is busy escaping the maze."
"Couldn't she just, well, step over it ? The damn maze is only what ? 50cm tall ?"
"Oh god, no. That would Risk Tearing her Dress."
"Please don't do the voice, it gives me the willies"
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 19 Mar 2016, 16:20
On Her Majesty's Secret Service

"Lord Chamberlain. I have this Document, that states it is From the Kaztropol Secret Service."
"I see, Majesty."
"I did not Know that there Is such a Service."
"Ah."
"The Document has an Official Seal on it, that States that they Act with My Authority."
"Ah."
"Lord Chamberlain. I request an Explanation."
"It's... complicated, your Majesty."
"How Complicated ?"
"Extremely complicated..."
"Lord Chamberlain. I shall be Unamused, if there is an Agency, that is Falsely claiming Authorisation from Myself."
"Well, Majesty... it is like this..."

Some Time Earlier.

"Explain Plausible Deniability Again ?"
"Majesty, if you do not know that the agency exists, then when you disavow any knowledge of their actions, then it will be an honest answer."
"I See. And why would I need to Disavow such Knowledge ?"
"Because, Majesty, the Secret Service occasionally would be required to do things that would contradict Scripture."
"I am Uncomfortable with this Knowledge."
"Indeed, Majesty, which is why it is better that you do not know."
"I See. Then, Reluctantly, I shall Authorise the Agency. Bring the Document."
"Here it is, Majesty"
"By my Signature and my Seal, I Authorise the Kaztropol Secret Service, to Act in My Name, to Protect the People, City, and Planet of Kaztropol, from Any and All Threats, Internal or External, from this Day Forth. I also name Director Maddam as First Director of the Agency."
"Thank you, Majesty"
"You are Welcome, Director Maddam. However, there is One thing that must be Done, to Maintain the Plausible Deniability."
"Oh, Majesty ?"
"Yes. I shall Delete my Memory of this Meeting, and as a Result, it is Unlikely that we shall meet Again."
"I see, Majesty."
"It is Unfortunate, but I See no other Way. I Regret this State of Affairs."
"I understand, Majesty. It is the way of being a secret agent, to disappear from people's awareness."
"Yes. May the Red God protect You and your Agents, Director. Goodbye and Good Luck"
"Thank you, Majesty"


"I See... Lord Chamberlain... So, I Authorised the Agency, and then Deleted my Memory of so Doing, because of Plausible Deniability."
"Yes, Majesty."
"But Now I know about their Existence."
"Yes... Majesty."
"I shall have to Delete my Memory of this Conversation."
"Is that really necessary ?"
"Yes. Before I Do, instruct the Secret Service that they must not send me Reports directly, unless it is Important."
"As you wish, Majesty"
"Also, How many Times have we Had this Conversation ?"
"I... errr.... Three, Majesty"
"I See."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Rin Valador on 19 Mar 2016, 16:36
The way I imagine Synthia speaks would be akin to the way Rachel Alucarde speaks in the blazeblu series. Real hawty and with an aura of "I can do no wrong" about her  :P
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Mitara Newelle on 22 Mar 2016, 14:29
:D
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 07 Aug 2016, 04:04
*** EYES ONLY. NOT TO BE SHARED BY ELECTRONIC MEANS ***

The Kaztropol Civil Service Survival Guide

As a member of the KCS, it is expected that you follow certain rules and procedures when going about your business, which are detailed in the Code of Conduct. This document however, addresses some of the more confidential procedures. In particular, there are certain methods that absolutely must be observed when interacting with Her Majesty.

1. Try not to do anything that may cause the Queen to have an Idea.
The Queen's Ideas, while many of them are novel and beneficial, others are disruptive to the efficient operation of public services. The bureaucratic upheaval caused by an Idea is extremely detrimental, and must be avoided whenever possible.

2. The Queen's vision is based on activity.
If Her Majesty is visiting your department, try to appear busy. Her Majesty is fully aware of the proverb that "The Deceiver finds work for Idle Hands", and so, if you do not appear to be busy, the Queen may find Something For You to Do.

3. Be Careful about appearing knowledgeable.
If the Queen has observed something that is puzzling to her, while it is tempting to volunteer knowledge, you may find yourself rapidly out of your depth. We all know the story of the junior civil servant who found themselves appointed Director of the Entomological Communication Institute during the First Ant War, after they foolishly commented that ants communicate by pheromones.

4. Be convinced by the Queen's disguises.
Occasionally, Her Majesty will visit unannounced, and in disguise. However, she is always the same height, and always speaks in the same voice. Do not let her know that you know who she is. If and when she reveals herself, say "Ah, your Majesty. A most convincing disguise." The last thing anyone at the KCS needs, is for Her Majesty to become more proficient at deception.

5. Be Careful if mentioning Scripture.
Her Majesty is very knowledgeable about the Scriptures. If the Queen says "It is Written", then it most certainly is, and as often as not, is Written in one of the lesser known volumes of Scripture. If you are unfamiliar with that particular Scripture, be very careful about admitting that fact, lest the Queen have an Idea about Scripture education classes for KCS members.

6. Do not panic if the Queen tries to seduce you.
This is what happens when people give Her Majesty an Idea. Someone gave the Queen a romance novel, "The Red Queen of Oyonata", and she has interpreted it as a guide to how a Sani Sabik Queen should behave.

7. Try to steer Her Majesty towards art.
If the Queen makes a comment about an appropriate subject, do try to mention that "That would make an interesting subject to explore in an Artwork". When the Queen is busy with her paintings and sculptures, she is not Finding Things for People to Do. It is no coincidence, that the run-up to the Kaztropol Art Festival is the least stressful time for the KCS.

8. Try not to do anything that may cause the Queen to have an Idea.
This is important enough to mention again. When the Queen has an Idea, it is a most stressful time for everyone.

Following the above rules, will make your employment at the KCS a lot less stressful.

*** This document is printed on edible paper. Consume after reading. Do not allow this document to fall into the wrong hands. Do not share this document by any electronic method. ***
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Farhat on 07 Aug 2016, 11:18
/me eats document
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Ché Biko on 07 Aug 2016, 12:37
Just read this thread today.
I hope you enjoy the cookies as much as I did reading this.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Xepharious on 08 Aug 2016, 10:27
There were cookies!? Where <.< >.>

Love it Synthia, absolute gold. Oh and I feel like anyone with a copy of Red Queen of Oyonata is suddenly a threat to the empire.... and what of the author!?
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Ché Biko on 09 Aug 2016, 08:54
There were cookies!? Where <.< >.>
Tweetfleet slack, either #lore or #roleplay. I think #roleplay.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Mitara Newelle on 20 Aug 2016, 10:58
This continues to be a most entertaining thread!
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 14 Sep 2016, 12:39
The Empress's Mercy

Kaztropolis Police HQ Interview room H

"Look, they've got multiple eyewitnesses that place you there, your fingerprints are on the paint tube, and you had paint traces on your clothes. They've got enough to convict you of sedition, more than enough."
"What's the penalty for sedition ?"
"At best, a lifetime of slavery. With no guarantee that lifetime will be particularly long."
"What are our options here ?"
"I'd say that we should go for the lesser charge of defacing public property, that should only get you a couple years of corrective slavery at the most."
"Is that the only option ?"
"Well, you could appeal to the Empress for mercy, but, I wouldn't recommend it."

Kaztropolis Imperial Palace Audience Chamber

"Majesty, this next petitioner was charged with sedition and defacing public property."
"What did they Deface ?"
"They painted 'down with the Empress' on the wall of the Imperial University, Majesty."
"I See, Bring them In."

"You May Speak."
"Your Majesty, I appeal to your sense of mercy, and ask forgiveness, as I am but a lowly sinner who has realised the error of their ways."
"I See. I have been Informed of the Exact Nature of your Crimes."
"Majesty, I-"
"Silence. I have Decided to be Merciful."
*murmurs from the Empress's advisors*
"Since you seem Fond of Painting Words on Public Property, I have Decided to commute your Sentence from a Life of Slavery"
*more murmurs*
"You shall Paint the Words of Scripture on the Great Wall of Kaztropol. Such is my Decision."
"Th-thank you, your Majesty, umm, may I ask... which words of Scripture ?"
"All Of Them"
"A-all of them ?"
"With a Calligraphy Brush. Yes. All Of Them. You are Dismissed."

"A most amusing decision, your Majesty"
"Yes. It was Fitting. They shall have Plenty of Time to Contemplate Things whilst Painting the Scriptures. Perhaps they shall Redeem Themselves while so Doing."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Lunarisse Aspenstar on 14 Sep 2016, 12:51
+! :)

Submit to writing contest? :)
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Elmund Egivand on 14 Sep 2016, 21:11
Not sure if better punishment or worse punishment.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 25 Nov 2016, 09:13
"Chancellor. I Read an Unusual Fact today, that stated that More People Die while attempting to wear Socks, than are killed by Dangerous Animal Attack."
"I see, your Majesty."
"Yes. Considering the Expense involved in Building the Great Wall of Kaztropol, to guard against Wombat Intrusions, then Surely, a similar Effort should be made against the Sock Danger ?"
"Umm, that is a good point, your Majesty."
"Yes. The People may become Concerned that my Government is not Allocating Resources Appropriately, by spending on efforts to Contain the Wombat Intrusions while Ignoring larger Problems."
"I am not sure the people are particularly concerned by dangerous socks, your Majesty."
"Am I not a Metaphorical Mother to my People ? Should I not be Concerned about their Safety ?"
"Ah, quite, your Majesty, How do you wish to proceed ? Are you going to outlaw the wearing of socks ?"
"No. Socks and related Items of clothing, such as Stockings, are an Important part of Fashion. I Myself quite Enjoy wearing Stockings as part of an Appropriate Outfit."
"Ah, of course, your Majesty"


By the Order of Queen Synthia:
No Person under the age of 12, is to attempt to wear any form of Sock, without Supervision by a Competent Adult.
A Competent Adult is defined as a Person with Relevant Qualifications in the wearing of Socks and related Articles of Clothing.
Persons wishing to wear Stockings, should have them Applied by a Competent Adult, not apply them themselves.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Miyoshi Akachi on 28 Nov 2016, 06:35
That thread is so fun to be read! :D
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 16 Jan 2017, 16:11
The Grapes of Wrath

"Empress... you requested my presence ?"
"Yes. As the Minister for Agriculture, I require your Advice regarding an Issue involving some Fruit."
"I... see... What issue are you having ?"
"I Require some Information on the Nutrients obtainable from Grapes."
"Oh, I see, well, grapes are quite a healthy food, particularly the skins, which contain many compounds..."
"The Skins contain Nutrients ?"
"Oh yes, the majority of the interesting nutrients are in the grape skin..."
"I See ! This Information is Extremely Interesting."
"I am glad to be of service, Empress."

Some Time Later...

"Empress, I understand you wish to outlaw the peeling of grapes ?"
"Yes. Important Nutrients are contained within Grape Skins. Peeling the Grape and not Consuming the Skin, is Unhealthy. Grapes are also Fiddly to Peel. Therefore, a Peeled Grape represents an Unhealthy and Inefficient way to Consume Grapes, and I consider it Against the Objective of a Healthy, Productive Society."
"I see."
"Yes. Also, I have Heard Rumours that certain Angel Cartel members have Slaves hand them Peeled Grapes, as an Exhibition of Decadent Luxury. I Disapprove of Such Things."
"Indeed, your Majesty."

By Order of Queen Synthia

Grapes are Not to be Peeled, unless the Skin is Also to be Consumed. Grape Skins are Healthy and Nutritious. Discarding the Skin is Unrighteous.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 27 Feb 2017, 17:51
"What is that ?"
"It is the Queen's idea for an emblem for the Civil Service"
"I... see..."
"The η is the symbol for Efficiency, and the lightning bolts represent rapid and decisive action"
"And the wings on the η ?"
"I have no idea. But Her Majesty wants a 2 metre tall mock-up of it made by the end of the week"
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Mitara Newelle on 28 Feb 2017, 10:25
Perhaps someone will smuggle out a holo of this mock-up >.>
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 10 Mar 2017, 09:38
Kaztropolis Imperial Cyberpsychology Institute
Cyberpsychology report on Her Majesty Synthia 1

Construction:

Empress Synthia's brain appears primarily to be a descendant of one or more of the drone management AIs that the Gallente released to construct infrastructure in what would become the Drone Regions. Several hardware and software configurations within the Empress's brain point to this. However, there are also many systems of clearly different origin, such as pre-YC100 Imperial Navy devices, and at least 3 hardware designs that would appear to be either unique to the Empress, or of a previously unknown culture. How these systems came to be incorporated into the Empress's design is unknown.

Motivations:

Her construction is relevant, as one of the primary purposes of the drone management AI was the optimisation of the behaviour of subservient drone units, and allocation of appropriate objectives. The result is that the Empress effectively sees us, the people of Kaztropol, as her drones, and wishes to optimise our behaviour, give us suitable objectives, and keep us in peak operating condition. Thus, her apparent compassion and concern for the people is genuine, if occasionally misdirected due to her naiveté about the human condition.

Political Implications:

The design of the Empress poses an issue regarding one of the projects assigned to the Imperial Space Force - Project Drone Enlightenment, which seeks to spread the Faith to other units of the Rogue Drone culture. Our best estimate is that Empress Synthia descends from the civilian models of drone management AIs, and not the military models. While Empress Synthia's behaviour is generally benign, the behaviour of a military model drone brain may not be, so some care must be taken in selection of candidates for the Project, lest a zealot be created that sees everyone, including ourselves, as heretics to be destroyed.
In addition, as long as the Empress Synthia reigns, Kaztropol is spared the rule of the, more eccentric, potential Sani Sabik autocrats that the Covenant may choose to install as ruler, such as a Cult of the Lash Domina. It is therefore in the interests of the people of Kaztropol, that the Empress reigns as long as possible.

Conclusions:

While the Empress is occasionally given to whimsy, her concern for the well-being of the population is as genuine as could be hoped for from a Sani Sabik ruler, and as long as she is appropriately advised and steered in a suitable direction, is greatly preferable to the alternatives.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 18 Mar 2017, 18:20
The End Times Approach

Kaztropolis Civil Service HQ

"Director, here is the report on the Queen's latest social outings"
"Oh, thank you, hmm... oh, what's this ? She went to a party ?"
"Yes, a Masquerade party, that was advertised on the IGS."
"A what ?"
"A Masquerade ball, director ? You know, people wear costumes and masks ?"
"And someone let her go there ? Unattended ?"
"Yes ? Is there something wrong ?"
"I'm just stepping outside for some air. I may be gone for some time."

"What's going on ?"
"The Director said he needed some air, so he stepped out onto the balcony."
"Oh, well, that's unusual for, oh my god ! He jumped !"


"Hello Director. I see you are making Use of the Swimming Pool I had Installed Overnight as part of my Fitness Initiative for Civil Service Employees. I am Slightly Surprised at your chosen Entry Route into the Pool. Also that you are Fully Clothed."
"Ah, indeed your Majesty."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Ché Biko on 24 Mar 2017, 16:55
 :lol:
I had a feeling that the party might Change Things for the people of Kaztropol.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Mebrithiel on 10 May 2017, 19:26
Empress now? That's a promotion!

Also, I love this topic ♥
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 09 Dec 2017, 08:48
Kaztropol Sports Network

"You're watching KSN Arena Action with your hosts Fura Samooh and Bitah Emirion, and boy, do we have a match for you tonight !"
"That's right, Fura, tonight we have an unprecedented match with Empress Synthia herself !"
"Amazing, Bitah, how did this incredible situation come about ?"
"Well, Fura, the background to this fight is a challenge to the legitimacy of Empress Synthia's reign."
"Extraordinary. So, what are we expecting to see ?"
"We're expecting a gauntlet, with the Empress facing three challengers in single combat, until either all challengers or the Empress is eliminated."
"Incredible ! What do you think the odds are ?"
"The Empress has spent the past two months training with the New Udor All-Stars, so I reckon her odds are pretty good."
"Absolutely amazing. This will be a match to remember !"


"Empress, are you sure about this ?"
"Yes. It is Important."
"But, really, the gladiator costume does not leave much to the imagination."
"Yes."
"Is it really appropriate ?"
"Yes."
"As you wish."

"And look at that, the Empress is taking to the field, wearing the traditional gladiator costume. Wow !"
"You said it Bitah, and the crowd are loving it, listen to those roars !"
"They're getting an eyeful, that's for sure"
"And here comes the first challenger, Lady Arthafon"
"And there's the referee. The two exchange salutes, and.... they're off. Listen to that crowd!"

"Hyaaah!"
*ching*
"Rraah!"
*swoosh*
"Damn you"
*meat noises*
"Gaah"
"Do you Yield ?"
"Never"
"As you wish"
*squelchy noises*
*crowd roaring*

"Well look at that, Furah, the first challenger is down."
"Yes, Bitah, and what a show. The Empress certainly has the moves."
"Shows you the effect of the All-Stars training."
"Certainly does, which should mean a good season for them."

~a short time later~

"That was an impressive performance, Empress."
"Thank you Furah Samooh. I am Glad you Enjoyed It."
"The crowd certainly enjoyed your use of traditional armour."
"Yes, Bitah Emirion, I Felt it was Important."
"Do you have any plans to fight in the Arena in the future ?"
"I do not Know. Do you Think it would be a Good Idea ?"
"Well, the crowds liked your display today."
"I See. I Shall Think about It."
"Thank you for your time, Empress."
"Thank You."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 05 Jun 2018, 03:07
The Statute Finger

"Who is the Next person appealing for my Mercy ?"
"Ah, it is a young woman appealing a sentence for wearing an Indecent Garment"
"I See, send her In"

"You wish to appeal a Sentence for wearing an Indecent Garment ?"
"Yes, your majesty."
"On What Grounds ?"
"Well, ma'am, there is an issue with how the garments are measured by the Fashion Police."
"I See. What is the Issue ?"
"Well, ma'am, it's about how above-the-knee dresses should be no more than 3 fingers width above the knee, and for short-skirts, they must be at least 5 finger widths below the groin."
"Such Standards are Written in the Book of Appropriate Attire."
"Yes, they are, but they are terribly imprecise"
"Explain."
"Well, ma'am, surely you have noticed that people have differently sized hands ?"
"Yes."
"Therefore, 5 finger widths differs widely between individuals"
"Yes. How does this Relate to your Appeal ?"
"Ma'am I have quite small hands, and my dress to me, appeared to be more than 5 finger-widths below the groin. However, the Fashion police officer had substantially larger hands, and so their 5 finger-widths were a completely different measurement."
"I Understand. There is not a Standard Finger width for these Measurements."
"Exactly, your Majesty"
"I shall Pardon you, and Investigate this issue Further."

"Majesty, the Chairman of the Committee of Moral Decency has arrived as you requested."
"Show him In, Please."

"Well, ma'am, perhaps the standard finger should be based upon yours, as you are our Queen ?"
"That would be a Good Idea, were it Not for the Fact that I am significantly Towards the Smaller Side."
"Ah, yes, ma'am, Small but perfectly formed, as they say."
"Yes, Although Slightly Over-Flattering. I have had a Thought."

By Order of Her Majesty:
The width of the Kaztropolitan Statue Finger, for use in Indecent Clothing standards, is defined as the average width of the fingers of the adult female human population of Kaztropol. The Average shall be updated by census at regular intervals, with no more than 10 years between updates.
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 03 Jul 2018, 16:27
Meanwhile in Kaztropolis

"Sir ! Take a look at this"
"What is it ?"
"It's a picture from one of our outposts on the perimeter of the Formic Neutral Zone"
"On screen"

(https://i.imgur.com/ZF9Vfve.jpg)

"Bring up the co-ordinates... oh good Lord. They're in violation of the Treaty. Get the Director on the line."

"Yes, Director. Sector 6-G. Is that somewhere the Queen might visit in the next two days ? Oh, it's not ? That's a relief. Yes, we can handle this. I'll dispatch a sweeper right away."
Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 29 Sep 2018, 14:25
Synthia Encounters A Difficult Problem

"Zara, it is time to get Dressed for School."
"Noooooooo!"
"Yes."
"Nooooooo! It's not fair !"
"Zara, Come on, get dressed for school."
"I don't want to !"
"You have to Get Dressed, Zara. The holidays are Over."
"Noooooo. I don't want to go back to school."
"Zara. I do not make the Rules. You have to get Dressed."
"You're the Empress, mummy. You do make the rules."
"I. Hmm. I shall Return Shortly."

Title: Re: The Tyranny of Queen Synthia
Post by: Synthia on 23 Feb 2019, 09:23
The Compulsory Goat

"The Minister for Agriculture has arrived, Majesty"
"Excellent."

"Minister, I have been Studying the Economy of Kaztropol, and have Decided that it would be Beneficial for each Household to be issued with a Goat, in order to promote Economic Growth and Social Equality."
"Ah, very good, your Majesty. Where would all these goats be accommodated ?"
"The Common Land outside the City can be used as Pasture. Households lacking Space to keep a Goat on their own property may use the Pasture."
"Ah, I see. A profound initiative, ma'am"

A short time later...

"What in the blazes is this ?"
"The Queen has issued you with a goat, your Lordship."
"Did I ask for one ? What am I supposed to do with a goat ?"
"It came with a leaflet, sir"

Quote
Dear Goat Owner
You have been Issued with this Goat as part of the Compulsory Goat Program, to promote Economic Growth and Social Equality.
This Goat is registered to You, entitling you to a Fair Revenue from Goat milk and other Goat-derived Products from the Kaztropol Goat Industry.
If your Household lacks Space to accommodate a Goat, you may use the Common Land to keep your Goat.
Look After your Goat, and it will Look after You.

Queen Synthia.

"Put the goat in the garden then. And bring me the haircare products catalogue. I expect my wife will wish to style the creature's hair. I want to know how much this is going to cost me."
"Very good, your Lordship."

Some time later...

"Here are the reports, Majesty"
"I See. Hmm. Goat Racing appears to have caused a boom in the Gambling Industry. And the Haircare and Grooming Products industry has experienced Growth from Owners using products on their Goats. Interesting."
"Quite the success, ma'am"
"Indeed"